


The Beginning - A Story of Creation

by CultureisDarkBeer



Series: Rooted In Friendship [1]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-08-18 13:50:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 69,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8164130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CultureisDarkBeer/pseuds/CultureisDarkBeer
Summary: This is the original prequel to Rooted in Friendship.  It starts right before Season 1 Episode 1 and it ends in the beginning of season 3. As with all my stories, I do my best to follow cannon.





	1. Laughing in the Rain

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the x-files or any of the characters. They belong to Chris Carter and 20th Century Fox. I'm writing this out of love not profit and I receive no compensation from this. These characters deserved more happiness than what they received.

In the Beginning – A Story of Creation

In the Beginning, when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was without form or shape, with darkness over the abyss and a mighty wind sweeping over the waters.  Then God said: Let there be light and there was light.  God saw that the light was good.  God then separated the light from the darkness. God instructed Chris Carter to call the light “Scully” and the darkness “Mulder”. Wait.....What?

Mulder woke to a sharp pain in his shoulder.  He lifted his head and a newspaper clipping stuck to his face.  He had drifted to sleep while reading some literature on Mariette Field Air Force base.  He looked at his watch which read 10:23 P.M. and rubbed his eyes.  It wasn’t unusual for him to sleep in the office.  In a way he preferred it.  The unusual part is any sleep he was able to get at all.  He glanced over at the television set that was causing his morning wood to twitch from the sounds emanating from it.  There were two doctors.  One receiving oral pleasure and the other giving to a voluptuous naked woman with an alien mask over her head. He smiled knowingly and got up to turn it off and head to the bathroom.

On the way back to his apartment he decided to stop for a drink.  He would need something to help lull him back to sleep.  Or someone.  In your dreams Mulder, he thought to himself.  Things were tough for him in the love department as of recently.  Recently being the past year.  Or maybe always given his unaffectionate parents.  Something else to be criticized for.  Was it his fault he didn’t enjoy cuddling?  That he didn’t want to hold hands all the time and preferred to sleep alone? It didn’t matter anymore anyway. Diana was off trying to save the world from the terrorists and when she left so did all his faith in women.  Not that he had much to begin with.  He couldn’t blame her much.  Once they found the x-files, he became a man obsessed and ignored her needs.  Something Diana didn’t tolerate.  Not that he was ever very good at being a boyfriend.  He never did anything right.  Couldn’t remember any important dates, never got her the right gift, and every time he made the plans, it was never the right place to go.  She was overbearing and bossy.  Sometimes he felt like he was trapped in a kinky BDSM porn where she was the dom and he the submissive.  It was easier for him that way.  He could use his mind for other things and his heart only had room for his missing sister.  That’s all that really mattered to him.  Diana left him disenchanted, deterring him from more relationships.  The x-files were his lover now and they provided.  His bedroom filled with them, symbolism he grew to appreciate.  His bed long gone.  He preferred the couch and his television as his source of company.    

Mulder slid onto the barstool of the dimly lit tavern and tapped on the cherry wood of the bar.  “Hey Fox, the usual?” asked the bartender.  “Sounds good Joe.” Being the only bar he frequented, although not often, him and the bartender had become buddies.  He liked it because it was dark, walking distance from his apartment, and no one from the FBI ever came in.  Mulder was not the social butterfly.  That was Diana’s department.  Once again he would let her drag him around allowing him time to focus energies.  There was too much about him Diana didn’t understand or care to.  She had been on a mission and succeeded.  She cared for him, loved him even.  He cared for her, but he wouldn’t go so far as to say he was in love.  In lust with care.  He chuckled to himself and took a sip of beer.  He looked around to make sure his suspicions were true; that he knew no one.  He was now considered a comedy routine.  A freak show the other agents pointed and laughed at.  If they only knew.  A short-haired brunette was seated next to him.  Thin with legs up to her neck.  He took a deep breath and tried conversation.  “How do you like this weather we’re having?” 

She seemed slightly startled but then gave him a smile once her eyes took in everything there was to behold.

“Unseasonably hot wouldn’t you say?” Mulder continued.

“I’ll say” she returned fake fanning herself.  “What brings you here?”

“I live up the street.  Just got out of work.”

“What line of work lets you out at this hour?” Her tone was very seductive.

“FBI Agent” That line always helped reel them in he thought.  That’s right honey, tall dark and mysterious.

“Interesting.  Do you ever go undercover?  Expose the deep seeded underbelly?”

Mulder chuckled.  “Sometimes.  Most of my cases have to do with the logically unsolvable and unexplained.”

“Oh, like what?” He seemed to have sparked her attention. That is until he gave her his standard line.  The one that caused him to sleep alone at night.

“Do you believe in the existence of extraterrestrials?”  He said in his best spooky version of himself.

“Um.  You have a badge right?”  The expression on her face suddenly changed and she looked at him like he just stepped out of the UFO.

“Yeah I have a badge.”

“If you excuse me, I have to use the restroom, but it’s been really nice talking to you.”  Hurriedly and with a nervous smile she collected her purse, left money on the bar and left.

Mulder put his head down and sulked tapping the bar to alert the bartender he wanted another.  Women were just a distraction and a pain in the ass.  Rejection was nothing he wasn’t use to.  A couple times he considered indulging with a lady of the evening.  While illegal in D.C., he could have traveled to Vegas.  Not very appropriate for an FBI agent, but his biggest deterrent was his love of giving rather than receiving.  While 900 numbers did aid in fantasy, it was more of a no harm no foul.  Actual sexual intimacy with human contact was another ball game.  So he was stuck trolling the bar scene which he hated.  Being innately shy among women didn’t help matters. Most of his time was spent in his basement office, on airplanes, or out in the field.  Surprisingly, he found that the more you dive into your work, the more passionate your convictions, your passion in other areas seemed to take an extreme nosedive. 

Mulder looked up from his beer and saw a couple in a booth.  Nose to nose, holding hands.  No one in the room, but them.  Deep in his gut he knew that he envied them, but the life he chose didn’t give him the exposure to find that.  He certainly never had it with his past relationships or thought he deserved it. Marriage and family was not a lifestyle he was inclined to pursue. Mulder considered himself the on-looker, his place was on the sidelines, but never on the field. He suddenly felt drained.  This was nothing he wanted to be thinking about.  Distraction and pain in the ass. He needed to at least attempt to get sleep.  Last week he had begun researching phenomena which had occurred in Collum National Forest and he wanted to be up early tomorrow continuing his research so he could head out as soon as possible.  Tomorrow he was also being assigned a new partner.  An Agent Dana Scully.  He had already committed her stats to memory and was intrigued by her senior thesis on Einstein’s twin paradox.  At least she was up for a challenge.  Unlike with Diana, he would refer to her by her last name.  It kept it professional and kept distance between them from the start. It also put them on equal footing. The last thing he wanted was for her to think he was treating her differently because she was a woman.  He would give her the respect of any other partner. Although, he also needed to remind himself that she was sent to him as a spy.  A chill went up his spine, but it was one of excitement.  It had to mean he was close.  Let them spy.  Maybe they’ll learn something for themselves.  He motioned to the bartender to ring up the tab.

*

“Dana, are you okay baby?” Ethan reached his arm over her and gave her a kiss.  Tomorrow she was requested to report to headquarters.  Remember Dana, be friendly and smile at everyone.  Her mother was talking in her head.  She had a tendency to forget to smile when she was nervous.  She didn’t know why she was nervous since they requested her due to her background in medicine and science.  After teaching at the academy for the past two years she was ready for a new adventure. 

“I’m fine Ethan.  Go back to sleep.  I’m just a little anxious about my new assignment.  They’re putting me out in the field and they’re giving me a partner.”

“A partner, interesting.  A male partner?”

“Yes, but why would that matter?”

“I guess it shouldn’t.  It’s good, at least someone will be looking after you. Relax and go to sleep.  I’m sure it will all be fine.”

*

At seven o’clock she returned to her apartment.  It had been a long day and her feet were sore.  She had dreams of soaking in her tub, but from the aromas emanating from the kitchen, it was obvious Ethan had cooked.  The dining room table was filled with wine and candles.  Ethan was a hopeless romantic, much like Jack and Daniel and the others that had come before.  Powerful men, slightly older, that were hopeless romantics, that seemed to be her modus operandi.  Not that she was looking for a father figure.  Her and her father had an amazing relationship not counting her constant need for rebellion.  She shook her head as if to clear it. It was too late in the day to be analyzing and Ethan was approaching with an apron on and a smile on his face.  He gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

“I made us dinner.  It will be ready in about half an hour.  Oh, and your sister called.  She said to call her when you can.  She said she was feeling very positive vibes today concerning your new assignment.”

That made her smile.  Her sister was quirky, but in a loving meaningful way, and was more of a free spirit.  She would probably be very approving of her new partner.

“Hey Missy, how’s it going?” Scully said into the bedroom phone out of Ethan’s earshot.

“That’s what I wanted to ask you.  Mom said you had a new assignment.  I want to hear all about it.  What’s it like having a partner?”

“First day so he’s still up for interpretation.  It looks like they sent me there more as a spy and a validator.  I think they may be looking to close the department. I’ll just enjoy it while it lasts.”

“And your new partner?”

“His name is Fox Mulder.  He’s very intelligent and he is definitely not into traditional theory.  I think you would like him.”

“Uh huh.  You didn’t say anything about the way he looks.  He must be nice on the eyes.”

“Missy!  Really?  He’s my partner.  I’m not starting that.  I’ve had enough with dating the people I work with.  I’m trying to start a career.”

“Uh huh.  Wow.  He must be really good-looking.”

“What do you want me to say?  He’s cute.  I’m not getting involved so it’s irrelevant.”

“Do you know his birthdate?  I could run an astrology report on him.”

“No, not yet.  We are flying to Oregon tomorrow, so I’ll let you know when I get back.”

“Okay, well I’m happy your first day was a good one and I’m happy the guy you’re partnered with is hot.” Melissa continued to tease her.  Scully could almost hear her smiling through the phone.

“I have a boyfriend that I am currently living with you know. That usually indicates a serious relationship.”

“I told you, the numbers don’t lie, you are not compatible with him.”

Her sister was exhausting. Since the day she started seeing Ethan her sister never cared for him. “Okay Miss.  I’ll talk to you when I get back.  Love you.  Bye.”

Ugh.  Now she had to tell Ethan she would have to go away this weekend.  This would not be a pleasant conversation.  He already accused her of being too involved in her work.  Their relationship was strained enough. 

With the candles lit on the table and a lovely flowered centerpiece, Scully and Ethan ate the Chilean seabass Ethan had prepared with candied carrots and roasted sweet potatoes. 

Scully decided the best way to start the conversation was to be upfront and open.  “Ethan, my new assignment is going to involve a lot of travel.  Probably 80% of the time.  I need you to be prepared for this.”

Ethan sighed. “I guess I knew the time would come. When you told me you were with the FBI I knew eventually you would start traveling.  When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow”

“What?  So soon.  On a Friday?  When will you be back?”

“I told you before.  The FBI is not a 9-5 Mon-Fri job.   I have been fortunate in the past, but I need to do this.  I need you to understand.”

“I understand Dana.  Also understand that when we decided to move in together I turned down a job in NY for you.”

“For me or for us?”

“You know what I mean. I don’t want to argue.  Be careful.  I guess I’ll have to find some way to keep myself occupied for the weekend….well, just make sure you bring my green t-shirt.  The one you like to wear to bed?  It will be my only way of keeping you company at night.”  A smile returned to his face and Scully relaxed.  Maybe this wouldn’t be as difficult as she was making it.

*[Post the Pilot]

Scully was facing away from Ethan laying on her bed staring out into space.  Her mind was a million miles away.  The past week was nothing she ever expected.  Brought in to debunk a man’s work.  A man that was clearly brilliant, although somewhat crazy.  It was clear that the men that brought her in were hiding something.  Something that Mulder was on the verge of discovering.  Maybe there was something slightly shady or maybe it was normal procedures for top secret information.  Whatever the case, she wondered who that creepy man was that was always skulking in the corner of the deputy director’s office smoking a cigarette.

She shifted in bed nervously.  No matter what, she would continue to do her assignment as it was described to her to the best of her ability.  What about her new partner?  She felt comfortable with him.  Like they knew each other for ages, yet they just met.  They were communicating with just a look.  It was something she had never done with anyone before, not to that extent.  She was able to read him like a book and she couldn’t understand how.  Their banter free flowing and natural. In that instance, in the rain, those split seconds she let go and believed because he wanted her to and made the connections.  Around him she had courage. The connection she felt to him, a stranger, was strong.  Maybe they were meant to be partners. Just as the thought crossed her mind the telephone rang giving her a slight startle.  It was her new partner.  Pumped as ever.  Not able to sleep, certain there was a conspiracy.  She wasn’t thrilled that he was calling her so late, he was obviously oblivious to proper etiquette, but part of her liked the fact that he was so accepting and trusting of her as his partner.

“Dana, who was that?” Mumbled Ethan half asleep.

“No one.  My new partner.  It can wait till the morning.  Go back to sleep.”

*

Mulder hung up the phone.  He didn’t like her shooting down his impulsiveness.  She was going to have to get use to secretive meetings in the middle of the night if she was to be his partner. He liked her though and trusted her much sooner than he anticipated.  There was something about her.  He thought she reminded him a little of his sister.  Not the look, but her personality.  She challenged him and wasn’t afraid to push him to make him better.  She was very factual, but stiff.  Stiff, but warm at the same time.  Inviting.  Now that he met her he was glad she was assigned to him and for the first time since Diana left he was looking forward to working with someone.  She obviously felt comfortable with him.  Comfortable enough to strip for him.  That made him smile. She looked so much better out of those stuffy suits.  Oddly enough he wasn’t attracted to her which he felt was a good thing.  At least that was what he told himself. He did feel a closeness to her. One that he had never felt with anyone before. Friends at first sight.  He liked that too.  Mulder sighed and rubbed his face.  His brain was in a million different directions again and he couldn’t sit still.  Pumped with adrenaline, he decided to go for a run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to include Ethan. Mostly for the purpose of Scully's character development and because it's always fun to dump anyone for Mulder. Also, I'm currently writing this with a 6 week old Boston Terrier asleep on my shoulder. He's red and white. I may just name him Fox.


	2. Bye Felicia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our two new compadres are getting to know each other. Dana still has friends and a boyfriend. A boyfriend, hmmm. We must do something about that. Episodes in this chapter include "Deep Throat" and "Squeeze".

Scully found herself in a crowded bar at 2 o’clock in the afternoon waiting on her partner.  What so many patrons were doing there at that hour she hadn’t a clue, but the thought of possibly being hit on made her very uncomfortable. Not to mention, it was so loud she couldn’t even hear herself think.  It was week two of working with Agent Mulder and she still wasn’t quite sure what to make of him.  The first week with him was quite an exciting one, but surely the cases would become mundane as time went on.  She was suspicious of meeting at a bar.  He had already asked her to go out for a run with him in the middle of the night, called her at nearly 11:30 PM when they got back, and now this.  She began to think he might be hitting on her.  Maybe she should let him know she had a boyfriend.  She really wasn’t into divulging her personal life so easily, but this might be borderline harassment. On top of all that he was late. Impatiently, she glanced at her watch. 

Mulder entered the bar and saw the studious Miss Agent Scully reviewing paperwork.  He liked the name Scully, it reminded him of the famed announcer Vin Scully, although, thankfully, she looked nothing like him. Today she was smartly dressed in her pinstripes and her hair was poofier than last time they met.  He was drawn to her lips that were highlighted by a killer red lipstick.  Maybe knowing what she looked like under that suit wasn’t the best for their working relationship.  I’m not attracted to her, he repeated to himself.  Besides, they had more important things to delve into. 

He snuck up behind her and it took her by surprise.  It was meant to.  He was so close at first she thought he might kiss her.  A pleasant musky sandalwood cologne filled her nose removing the bar stench that was there previously. He was standing so close he dissolved whatever personal space she had.  Missy was right.  He was hot.  The heat emanating from his body was soothing causing her to go into an almost hypnotic state.  Her body gravitating towards him on a subconscious level.  Their eyes locked and the room went quiet.  His eyes seemingly changing color from an olive green to a gray steel as it happened.  She took off her glasses to get a better look.  He offered to buy her a drink and now she was sure he might be hitting on her.  Keep it professional Dana, she said to herself, knowing there was someone at home. 

Scully let out a sigh as he left her to go to the bathroom.  There was something deeply intoxicating and intriguing about him.  At the same time she knew they were headed for trouble with this latest excursion to Idaho.  Still, he put her under his spell with his paranormal bouquet.  She smirked as she could only anticipate what he had in store. 

*

At 9:13PM outside Ellen’s Air Base Scully was awoken by the crashing of the back glass of the car. Mulder grabbed her hand leading her up the hill to bear witness to the unexplained.  As they made their way to the top she grasped his hand tighter.  Why did her hand feel so comfortable in his?  Electric charges coursing through his hand into her own.  Why did it always feel like she already knew him?  A familiarity not like an ex-lover or a family member, more like the way you know your own limbs, like the way you sense your lungs take in air or feel your heart coursing blood through your veins.  She looked out at the night’s sky, lights darting everywhere not following any set pattern that she could discern. She heard the blast of a plane engine and the breeze from the exhaust. Oh. My. God.  It was close to a religious experience.

Running from the military helicopter they hid behind a tree with two kids they had discovered in the field high on more than just life. His hand scorched electricity into her back as he held it there until it found its way to her shoulder. They attempted to slow their breathing, hearts pounding with excitement.

The sun was up as they dropped off their new found young crusaders busy misspending their youth.  As they performed some more back and forth inside the car, attempting to learn more about the other, Scully’s casual comment of “If I was that stoned”  caused Mulder to believe that maybe she did loosen up and gazed at her incredulously.   

Eventually, he revealed his belief that the planes at Ellen’s Air Force Base were built using UFO technology.  She thought that he may actually be as crazy as previously alluded and her lack of a filter relayed the information to him.  He laughed as if she was just ignorant to the facts. They were speaking of UFOs, but she felt her body flirting with his as she tucked strands of hair behind her ear, eyes sparkling as she returned cracked smiles and pouty lips. The chemistry between them was strong.  An electricity so thick you could almost see it.  But she wouldn’t describe it as sexual. This was something she had not come across.  Her mind yearning for additional proof.   Another observation she made, at times, even given the substantial difference in their heights, her hips would naturally sway in time with his as they walked.  As if their hips were keeping time with a metronome only they could hear leading them through uncharted supernatural enchantment.  If he was one step ahead of her, it was only due to his inability to keep her in the loop.  She was beginning to think his private agenda was interfering.  Why couldn’t he understand that the government had a right to protect its secrets and the questions they had they may have no business asking?

*

As the fog began to lift from his mind, he was unable to process what had occurred on the base.  It was taken from him, wiped like a hard drive.  Not like when something is on the tip of your tongue.  It was just gone.  He looked over at his partner.  She was driving them to the airport.  He knew everything he had put her through in the past two weeks had been a lot.  To tell someone of her background the things he had told her.  He understood it was hard for her to believe.  What he failed to understand was how she was still by his side.  He had lied to her, left her, broke the law, and put her career in danger.  Yet she stole a car and threatened a high powered man’s life in exchange for his own.  She didn’t leave without him and she was tough.  Qualified in her position. He was sure that the powers that be had no clue what they had done.  They saw her as a quiet capable obedient young lady, conservative in her thoughts as well as her dress.  Someone able to take him and his department down with her stringent rules and the mighty words of her field report.  What they failed to realize in their cursory assessment was what he knew as an expert profiler, a connoisseur of people.  What she showed the world was a shell she created, encased in a sculpture of choices.  Underneath the rigid layers was an ocean of unpredictability and surprises. 

“How are you feeling?” She asked as she glanced over. 

“Better than before, but I’ll never get parts of my memory back” He could see her frowning out of the corner of his eye.  “What made you stay?”

“I don’t understand your question.”

“I thought for sure you would have left and headed back to D.C., but you stayed.  You didn’t leave me.”

“I’m not going to leave you Mulder.  You’re my partner.  You don’t leave your partner.”

“There are some that would”

“Well, I’d like to think I have more character and integrity than that.”

“Point taken……thank you. It didn’t go unappreciated.”

“Don’t thank me yet Mulder, I’m sure this isn’t the last time I’m going to have to save your ass.”  A smile started to form at the corner of her mouth.  She glanced at him sideways keeping her head facing front as they drove off into the darkness back to D.C. 

*

“Dana honestly, ever since you’ve taken this assignment you haven’t been the same person.”

“Ethan, what are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying that you’ve become distant.”

“You know I am not at liberty to discuss my work with anyone.” This was the third discussion they were having about this.  The conversation was nothing but irritating.

“It’s not just your work Dana.  I think it has something to do with that partner of yours.  Something you haven’t been telling me.”

The mention of her partner caused her blood pressure to rise. “We are partners and I am a professional.  I’m also loyal.  How dare you make any insinuations otherwise.”

Ethan took a visible step back and ran his hand through his dirty blond hair. “Look Dana.  I’ve been offered another job opportunity.  This time in L.A.” He reached out and grabbed both her hands staring her straight in the eye. “Dana, I’d like you to come with me.  You could transfer to the L.A. field office.  We can work on us. Right now it’s too hard on us. You’re gone for weeks at a time, working weekends, this isn’t what we had in our plans.”

Scully released her hands and turned away from him busying herself folding laundry. “Ethan, now is not the time to talk about this.  It’s late and I want to go to bed.  It looks like we both have a lot to consider.  I’m going to need some time.”

“Well, I have to fly out to LA for a meeting next week.  You’ll have some time to think about it then.  Hopefully we will have come to a decision by then.”

One week later…

Mulder stared at Tooms in deep contemplation of the implications of such a mutant on society. He felt Scully’s hand on his arm, stroking his bicep.  Instead of stiffening uncomfortably, his body turned into hers as if part of a dance, folding into her momentum.  She pulled him out of his depravity with a simple touch and they strolled down the hallway together.

As they left the prison with Tooms quietly building a nest inside his cell, Mulder asked Scully if she wanted to stop for a bite to eat. 

“I really have to get home.”  She was thinking of Ethan and how he might be upset if he knew she was having dinner with another man.  Although she did have lunch with Tom Colton, but that was only during lunch break.  The truth was she still wasn’t sure whether or not Mulder was hitting on her.  When he grabbed her necklace at work what she found unsettling was that she didn’t even flinch.  They were strangers and her body responded to him like an old friend.  What if he did try something?  What if he kissed her?  Would she pull away?  Would she try to stop him?  She wanted to think that she would turn down his advances, but would she?

“If I promise not to take you out for liver and onions will you come?”

She smiled. It was probably harmless. “Okay, but I really can’t stay out late.”

“Neither can I.  It’s a full moon. I might turn into a werewolf.” He leaned into her and let out a howl.  He grinned and his eyes sparkled.

As they entered the restaurant, Mulder opened the door for her and casually placed his hand on her lower back leading her inside.  He had done the same as he led her through the dark staring at Tooms’ trophy collection.  Once again, she did not like when men made moves like that.  She found it patronizing and possessive.  Yet, when he did it, it felt like they were lego blocks clicking together.  He picked a small booth in the corner so they could talk.  She could tell he was very much into private conversations.  His eyes locked onto hers with an intensity that shot through her core.  In his eyes she saw a day where they wouldn’t need to talk.  She would look into those eyes and know.  That was if she didn’t get lost in them first.  Her tongue flicked out to lick her top lip.

“So what looks good to you?”

“Excuse me?”  His question bringing her back. For a second, she thought he was reading her mind.

“For dinner, what looks good on the menu?”

“Oh, I’m thinking about the steak.”

“Be still my heart, a woman that doesn’t just order a salad.”

“Don’t discount me yet, I had one for lunch.  Normally, I try to eat healthy.  Then sometimes, I don’t.  After what we’ve just been through, I deserve the steak.”

“Well, good for you. I believe I will join you.”

As the waitress set down their plates, Scully took a bite and swallowed.  “I told off Colton.”

“Did you now.” He looked up at her with a grin and placed a fork full of steak into his mouth.

She nodded. “I told him I can’t wait to see him fall down the corporate ladder and land on his ass.”  This drew a laugh from Mulder. She continued passionately. “I still think we should file a complaint against him for calling off that stakeout.  He put my life in jeopardy. Thank you for saving my life by the way.”

“You saved your own life. You were kicking ass. You didn’t need me.” Mulder reached over and fixed her collar. Once again she let him without even a flinch.

That was the in she needed to address his actions. “Mulder, is it an issue that I’m a woman?”

His look was one of surprise.  It was apparent she had startled him with the question. “Why would you ask that? Anyway, you’re not a woman to me.  You’re Scully.”

Okay, so that kind of answers the question.  Whatever that means.

“Is it an issue that I’m Spooky?” His eyebrows forming a pyramid on his forehead.

Oh, this poor man. “If they’re going to call you spooky, they’re going to have to do it behind my back because I won’t put up with it.  I like working with you Mulder, the cases are definitely different.  We look out for each other...”

“And what about you?  What about Mrs. Spooky?” As he said it he lifted her chin with his index finger so she looked him in the eye.

“I’ll wear the title proudly.  I told you, we’re partners now. Mulder, I’m proud to be your partner.”

“If you left I wouldn’t have anyone to run lab tests to prove my theories.” He said it matter-of-factly like that should end any debate.

Scully was able to counter. “Hey, you believed in me when they all said I was wrong.”

“How’s your steak?” He asked completely changing the subject.  He was obviously done with the conversation.

“Very good.  Thank you.”

“Were you able to get your door repaired today?”

“Yes.  Thankfully.  I was able to get the door and window done.”

When the check came he pulled out his wallet, “I’ve got this one.  You get the next.”  

Finally, she had confirmation.  She let out a sigh and relaxed.  He wasn’t making advances. It was just who he was.

***

It was Friday night and Ellen had convinced Scully to go out with the gang.  She hadn’t been out with her friends since she started her new job, so she graciously accepted.   The bar was crowded with a dance floor to match, top 40 music pumping from the DJ’s sound system.

Ellen and Scully were propped on the bar stools watching their friends dance the night away.

“Ethan wants me to go with him to L.A.” Scully’s voice elevated to be heard over the music.

“Is that really what the problem is Dana?  Moving?” Ellen raised an eyebrow at her.

“I don’t know.  It seems like lately we’re so distant.  I blame myself.  It’s probably me.  I think I’m the one pulling away.  He says I’m working too much with my new assignment and when I’m home I’m not paying him any attention.”

“Do you love him?” The question struck her like a hammer in the chest.  She wasn’t expecting that question.

Ellen sensed her anxiety and rephrased the question.  “Do you think you could love him?”

“I don’t know.”  Scully sunk her head into her hands.  “Something’s off.  Maybe I’m not ready for another serious relationship.  Or maybe it’s him.”

Ellen straightened her posture and ordered another drink. “Or it could be your childhood fantasies of Prince Charming.  That guy doesn’t exist Dana.  No guy can be everything.”

“It’s not that he’s not romantic. He’d be a good husband.  Have you ever had that feeling inside, like there’s somebody out there that you’ve been waiting for. Somebody calling out to you in the night, and when you meet, you’ll just know he’s the one.”

Scully’s phone rang and they both jumped. “Scully”

“Hey Scully, it’s me.  Mulder.”

“Oh hey, hi Mulder, what’s up?” Scully mouthed the name Mulder to Ellen and she gave her a look that made Scully scowl.

“It sounds kinda loud on your end, did I catch you at a bad time?”

“It’s fine Mulder, what do you want?”

“I was wondering if the second set of lab results came back yet.  I’m filling out the report and I want to include it.”

“They’re in my briefcase. Can this wait until Monday Mulder?”

“Would it be possible to drop it by my apartment on the way home if you’re in the neighborhood?”

Scully let out a sigh. “Sure Mulder, no problem.”  And with that she hung up the phone.  Scully looked up at Ellen.

Ellen had a shit eating grin on her face. “You were saying about somebody calling you?”

Scully rolled her eyes and smiled finishing off her drink.  “That’s not what I meant.”

“So how is your new partner?”

“He’s good.  I think it will work out if he lets me have a day off.”

“Missy said you think he’s cute.”

Scully blushed. Leave it to Melissa to shout it to the world. “Yes, he’s cute, but I’m taken.”

“Maybe not for long.” Ellen said raising an eyebrow.

*

It was a little after midnight when Scully flicked the lights on in her apartment. Ethan was there on the couch.

“Ethan, why are you sitting in the dark?”

“I don’t know, just thinking.”

“About?” Scully put down her briefcase and sat down on the loveseat. She was not looking forward to this conversation, especially not after the long day she had.   

“It’s been an entire week since I asked you what I asked you and I haven’t heard the slightest response.”

Crap.  With all that had went on this week Scully had completely forgotten about Ethan’s proposal to move with him to L.A. “Ethan, I’m sorry, I just need time to digest all this, to think…”

Ethan rested his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward.  His voice slightly above a whisper. “Dana, I came home and I heard from the landlord that you made the newspaper.  A man broke into our apartment and attacked you and you didn’t even pick up the phone to tell me.”

“It’s ok.  I’m fine.  I didn’t want to worry you.  My partner came in and …”

“Your partner.  I’m tired of hearing about your partner.  And that’s another thing Dana.  I called Ellen and she said you were with him at his apartment.”

“I was dropping off some paperwork.”

“At this hour?”

“Ethan, I’m not going to be interrogated like this.”

Ethan got up off the couch and held out his hand as an olive branch. “Look, it’s been a long day.  We can talk about this in the morning.”

Scully stood next to him ignoring his hand.  A feeling of impending doom boiling up inside her. “I can’t. I need to head into the office in the morning.  I have to meet…”

“Your partner, right.” He ran his hand through his hair visibly agitated and pacing, pointing his finger at her.  “You know what Dana, you don’t have to worry about it.  I’ve accepted the job in L.A. I’ll be out of your hair tomorrow and you and your new partner can go ride off into the sunset.”

“Ethan you’re being dramatic.” She reached out to grab his arm, but he brushed her hand away.

“Am I?  In the month that you’ve known this guy your entire personality has changed.  You might not see it Dana, but I have.  You don’t even know him, but you’re ready to risk your friends, your career, your time, and us.  I don’t know what hold he has on you, but you need to look in the mirror.”

“I’ve heard enough Ethan. It’s not as simple as you’re making it. It’s not about him, it’s about the work.”

“That’s fine Dana.  I’ll make it simple.  Come with me.  Live in L.A.”  He said pleading at her. She could see he was holding back tears.

Her head dropped along with her voice. “I can’t do that Ethan, not right now.”

Ethan took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  He spoke carefully with an even tone. “Well then, when you come home tomorrow.  I’ll be gone. I really hope he’s worth it Dana.”

###  **Chapter Management**


	3. Three Meals and a Liberty Bell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scully is back on the market, Mulder is haunted by his sister, and a woman is being just plain haunted. This chapter covers the episodes "Conduit", "Jersey Devil", and "Shadows".

It had been two weeks since Ethan walked out.  Scully missed him, but she knew it was time.  It was nice to not have to answer to anyone, to concentrate only on herself.   She was going to take advantage of this time to decide what it was she wanted out of life.  When she left Daniel it was the hardest thing she had ever done.  This breakup was not the same. It had been on the verge of happening for a while now.  Scully felt smothered as she eventually always did in her relationships. Being emotionally close was not something Dana was comfortable with. Ethan was another victim in the wake of the great Dana Scully.  She knew that to leave headquarters would be a mistake.  Now she would focus on her career, on herself, and enjoy the alone time.  Especially the joy in having to answer to no one, having to explain herself to no one, and having the whole wonderful apartment all to herself.

Then she got to work.  As with every day, she started in Blevin’s office.  On the surface the powers that be made it seem all too innocent.  Their justification for their actions was simple.  Exorbitant expenditures, flimsy reasons for expense and case requests, all under the guise of concern for appropriations of federal funding.  If any resistance was given they would follow up with accusatory statements concerning Mulder’s obsession with looking for his sister.  Instead of a spy, she felt more like his defender.  At the time, she wasn’t sure why she had such an intense urge to protect him.  Did Mulder portray a certain bad boy image?  A rebel with a cause.  He was fearless of consequences, focused, and determined.  She couldn’t bear to think of being responsible to put out such a fire.  Were his pursuits truly unfounded?

[Post Conduit]

Mulder lifted his head and dried his eyes.  This was getting him nowhere.  He prayed one last time to the God that never spoke back.  A quiet bystander overseeing all.  He had prayed for the signs that would lead to his sister.  Was she out there alone and afraid?  Had she been abused?  Experimented on, part of some untold testing and torture?  He wanted to believe he could still find her and save her.  Pain emanating his heart and infuriating his mind.  “Please God help me.  Give me the strength and the wisdom to find my sister” He got up. Mulder didn’t have much faith in religions and with each passing day he was losing faith in the God that would allow such sinister plots to torture innocent children. Was free will really the culprit in all this? With the sign of the cross he left the church, picked up his cell phone and pressed the redial button.

*

Scully listened to Mulder’s Hypnotic Regression Therapy session cassette from the case file. Convincing herself she was doing it out of necessity to gain deeper knowledge into her partner and not from sheer nosiness sated her conscience. It squeezed at her heart hearing his voice so fragile and vulnerable speaking about her crying out his name and him being unable to help her.  He wanted so badly to believe he could find her. Even though she did not believe beings from another planet came to claim his sister, she felt empathy and knew she was abducted by someone just the same.  What a terribly traumatic experience for him to have to go through at such a young age.  She pictured him as a boy, watching helplessly as his sister was taken and it caused her to shudder and shed a tear as raw emotion enveloped her.  The cellphone rang startling her.  “Scully”

“Hey Scully, it’s me, Mulder.”

“Hey Mulder” She inserted the contents and quickly closed the file even though logically he had no way of seeing her.  She felt like somehow she was violating his privacy, his innermost demons, even though it was part of public record.

“It’s around dinner time and I really don’t feel like eating alone tonight.  Care to join me?”

She could hear the continued sorrow in his voice and she didn’t have the heart to turn him down.  She knew how badly this case had affected him and now she was able to begin to understand why.  The wounded expression when he relented, knowing how much he wanted to help that family.  How he saw himself in that boy.

“Sure Mulder, wherever you’d like.”

There they sat in another dimly lit restaurant at a corner table.  If someone didn’t know any better they would probably assume they were on a date. 

“Mulder, I want to apologize to you.  Twice today I laid my hands on you and I shouldn’t have done that, it was inappropriate of me.”

Mulder frowned. He wanted to play innocent and ask what she meant, but her touch spoke to him.  It was soothing and warm.  Electrified and magnetic.  “No Scully, I should thank you.  Both times, when I was pulling those rocks off of that makeshift grave and when I was going after the boy in the hospital I was out of control.  You brought me back.  I need you to do that for me, that’s what friends do.”

He looked at her and his eyes sparkled, they reached out to her heart and she felt them hug her.  She closed her eyes to absorb it all and opened them with a warm smile that made Mulder stare down at his pasta to break away from the intimacy. 

She asked him to share some stories of the good times he remembered with his sister.  As he expounded, an intense pained look came across his face.  It was the same look he had while he was opening up to her in the car.  She knew without him saying it that he had never spoke like this to anyone before.  She recalled his lips twitching and eyes trembling as he told her about closing his eyes as he walked into his bedroom in anticipation that he would open them and his sister would be there lying in the bed.  Her heart pained for him as she imagined him waking every day waiting for her return.  His love for her pure and innocent.  As he continued to speak she realized it wasn’t just about his sister, but having his family together again.  This tragic event eventually led to his parents splitting up and with it his childhood.  Scully wanted to reach out to him, comfort him in some way, but she had to remind herself that they were very much strangers.

  * [The Jersey Devil]



Scully wasn’t sure what to believe anymore with the uniqueness of the cases and Mulder.  She was beginning to think that was the point.  The fact that something could occur without explanation frightened her to the core.  In her world she needed structure and proof. None of which meant anything to an x-file case.  This week it was the Jersey Devil. Folklore becoming truth. Instead of enjoying the afternoon with her new found regular, dependable boyfriend, Scully found herself walking the halls of the Smithsonian with Mulder speaking to an ethnobiologist.  As they returned to the car, Mulder walked around to open the door for her. “Didn’t want to be a Neanderthal” he chimed, closed it and walked to his side of the car. As he got in he asked, “Do you like Chinese food?”

“I’ve been known to eat it from time to time.” She was hesitant not knowing where he was headed.

“I was thinking we could get some take-out and head over to my place.  I want to show you where I keep the rest of my files and there are some details I’d like you to know in case anything ever happens.”

With any other human being, one might interpret his invitation as one with sexual connotations.  Scully had learned that emotionally Mulder was still a twelve year old boy and had not progressed much since his sister’s abduction.  It was both frustrating and enduring simultaneously.  “Sounds like a plan.”

Scully followed Mulder into his apartment where he gave her the grand tour.  It hinted of old wood and leather.  His kitchen was small, but efficient and it was obvious he waited for the dishes to stockpile to a certain level before he deemed it necessary to clean them.  With the exception of living like a bum for the weekend in Atlantic City, Mulder’s grooming habits did not match his housekeeping.  Lucky for her since he liked to speak to her an inch from her face.  The more intense the conversation, the closer he would get.  His breath was either minty or had the fragrance of sunflower seeds.  The clean soapy smell of his skin was augmented by his cologne. Pleasant but not overpowering and complimented by his Mulderesque aroma.  He kept himself well groomed, although his five o’clock shadow was nothing to balk at.  As she continued to look around she noticed his desk which was cluttered with mail and files.  “You want dishes or should we eat from the containers?” He asked from the kitchen.

“I’m not above eating from a container.” Scully replied. Besides, she wasn’t completely confident in Mulder’s dish cleaning abilities.

Mulder returned with two forks and two glasses of iced tea.  Handing a fork to Scully he stated, “I didn’t peg you for a chopstick kinda woman.”

As they ate he turned on a football game and went into detail concerning how he was able to secure his connections in congress and how they in turn protected the x-files and provided legitimacy for them to stay open.  “Senator Matheson is my biggest proponent.  He has helped tremendously.”  As he spoke his intense gaze remained on Scully.  His passion on the subject was unquestionable. 

Scully looked around and realized something was missing.  “Mulder, do you have a bathroom?”

“Yeah…it’s uh…right through my…uh, file room”

Scully got up and opened the door.  Pornographic magazines fell open at her feet.  She chuckled. “Good filing system Mulder.” 

“There not mine I swear.  If they are it’s for investigative purposes only.”  She turned squinting her eyes at him, raised one eyebrow, then stepped over the pile and squeezed her way into the bathroom.  Scully was getting use to walking in on him at work with a magazine or something interesting on television.  Certainly HR would have a field day with him, but she didn’t mind.  He was always making some kind of excuse or trying to hide it, but she thought it was the most normal thing he did besides his fondness for sports.  If he would stop being so shy about it at some point down the road she may even consider watching one with him.  The thought made her teeth dig into her bottom lip. After all, she had needs too.  When she finished in the bathroom she decided to be nosy and have a look around.  What should have been the bedroom was covered from floor to ceiling with papers and newspaper clippings, files, filing cabinets, and magazines.  When she walked back out to the couch she noticed a pillow and blanket stuffed neatly in the corner.  “Mulder, can I ask you something personal?”

“No, of course not Scully.” He said with a grimace and slurped up his lomein.

“How do you…um…entertain without a bedroom?”

“Oh” He laughed. Then a real sullen expression came over his face and she was almost sorry she asked the question. “I usually don’t.  Woman don’t particularly gravitate towards you when you’re spooky.  Besides, I told you, finding my sister, this” He held up several x-files cases, “Is all that matters to me. My dedication doesn’t afford me the time for anything else.”

This was clearly a subject he didn’t want to discuss.  You could see his invisible wall erecting and he curled up around his Chinese container making his body appear to shrink. Of course, Scully pushed forward anyway, “You’re a good-looking guy Mulder.  I’m sure there are plenty of women out there who would be interested in you.”

He reached over and picked up the last dumpling.  “You’re not going to eat this are you?”  Scully shook her head and he popped it into his mouth.  “So Scully,” he asked chewing a mouthful of dumpling, “What was wrong with Mr. Right?  How come he didn’t pass muster for a second date?”

Scully picked up her fork and played with her food as she stared at it. “I don’t know.  I just got out of a relationship and the idea of starting another one with a ready-made family….I don’t know.  I told myself I would give myself time to focus on my career and that’s what I’m going to do.” She looked up at Mulder with her big blue eyes and smiled playfully. “Anyway, if I’m going to keep up with my partner I don’t have time for that kind of tomfoolery.” And with that she reached over and snagged one of his shrimp with a devious smile.

“No tomfoolery huh?”  He lifted an eyebrow laughing at the expression and stole a forkful of Kung Pao chicken from her container.   

“Hey!” she shrilled.

“I almost forgot.” Mulder got up still crunching a peanut and handed her a key.  “This is to my apartment.  In case I need to go on another extended leave.  I’ll need you to feed my fish.”

She took it graciously.  It made her happy that he trusted her enough with the keys to his place.  Little did she know his place was like Grand Central Station to anyone with an inkling and a hair pin.

[Post Shadows]

“Hey Scully, do you believe in an afterlife?”

“I’d settle for a life in this one.”

“Have you ever seen the Liberty Bell?”

“Yes.”

“You know, I’ve been to Philadelphia 100 times and I’ve never seen it.”

“You’re not missing much. It’s a big bell, with a big crack, and you have to wait in a long line.”

“I’d really like to go.”

“Why now?”

“I don’t know.  How late do you think they stay open?”

Closed at 5 P.M. read the sign to Independence National Historic Park.   “Well, I guess you’ll have to wait to see it some other time Mulder.”

“Maybe” The tires screeched as the car propelled forward into the park around the protruding arm of the entrance gate.  Securing a spot he set the car in park turning it off and removed his seatbelt.

Scully’s face held a soured expression, “Really Mulder?  Why is it that we can never go a day without breaking some law?”

Mulder smirked as he opened the door, “I’m just putting some life into your life.”

“Mulder, the park is closed and now we’re trespassing.  I’m sure there’s cameras and security everywhere.”

Motioning her towards him he ducked down besides the bushes.  He noted the security at the entrance and stood up puffing his chest out displaying his badge with a serious expression, his mouth in a line with eyebrows to match. He knocked at the glass door purposefully deepening his voice.  “Sir, FBI, we were informed there were some possible suspects in a crime that visited the area today and we would like to take a look around.  Make certain there was no sabotage or evidence of explosives left behind.”

The guard looked instantly shocked and worried.  Obviously he wasn’t use to any kind of excitement on the premises, especially at that hour.  Scully took out her badge and half-heartedly displayed it.

Mulder strolled down the hall with Scully in toe. Throughout the expansive, light-filled center, stood larger-than-life historic documents and graphic images depicting the facts and the myths surrounding the bell.  Inside the quiet alcoves, the two read on and watched some short films on replay as well as gawked at x-rays of the inner-workings and the bell’s crack.  Mulder’s hand slid into Scully’s and tugged her towards the grand hall. There stood the liberty bell in all its majesty.  The glass wall providing Independence Hall showcased in lights as the backdrop underneath the night’s sky.  Scully felt Mulder squeeze her hand and didn’t release it as he stared in awe.  She wondered what was traveling through his genius, but chose to stay in cozy silence. His index finger caressed her own lighting up her chest. When he let her hand go it twitched in protest.  He threw his arm around her squeezing her shoulder and whispered in her ear, “Is this really such a bad life?”

She looked up at him and her mouth fell open, a warming sensation filling her heart. This was his response to her earlier statement. Wow, it was an incredibly romantic gesture even if it was meant only in friendship.  Which led her to pull away. The unbridled intimacy between them sending her off kilter. “Mulder, when I said I wanted a life, I wasn’t referring to one in a prison. We may be overstaying our welcome.”

As they left Mulder nodded to security which seemed indifferent to the whole situation and headed out for some dinner.

Scully looked across from her rebel with a cause partner as they bit into their cheese steaks.  "You never told me, what it was like to witness spectral phenomenon first hand.”

“It was everything I could have hoped for and more.  A little frightening.” Their eyes locked and they shared a smile.

“I’ll never get you to believe will I” Mulder looked almost sad.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say never Mulder, I only require you to substantiate your theories.”

“I think that ghost could have shook hands with you, danced around the room, and gave you his key to the pearly gates and you still would say it was only a figment of our imaginations.”

“Does that bother you Mulder?”

He sat silently for a moment in deep concentration. Carefully he spoke. “It can be slightly frustrating at times, but you add the validity to my work that I need.  You force me to justify my theories and conclusions with proof.  I can never argue with that. Plus, you respect my process and me.”

“I may not always agree with you Mulder, but I’ll always support you.”

As they drove off into the night headed back to D.C., Mulder set the dial to sports, his thoughts on spiritual unrest and its impact on society.  Looking over he found that his partner had drifted off to dreamland.  The comfortable, calmness in her face highlighted her youthful appearance.  She looked happy.  He hoped that he was partially responsible for that.  Knowing what was in store for them when they arrived in D.C., she would need her moment of peace to last as long as possible.


	4. Parasitic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of Mulder's former partners comes back into the picture looking for help. The trust aspect of Mulder and Scully's relationship gets tested. The syndicate gives you a peek into their thoughts. Meanwhile, Scully is called away to lunch by an old professor and friend and asked to reevaluate her decision to stay with the x-files. The following takes place around the episodes "Ghost in the Machine", "Ice", and "Space".

[Post Ghost in the Machine]

Cramped in an office upstairs Mulder and Scully struggle to complete paperwork on Jerry Lamana’s case.  “You trusted me Scully.  You trusted that destroying that machine was the best decision.”

“Yes Mulder.  I trusted you and you didn’t trust me.” She said indignantly, pacing back and forth behind him as he sat at the desk, the glare from his reading glasses preventing her from seeing his eyes.

“Don’t ever say that.” A hurt expression covered his face.

“I know there are things you are holding back from me Mulder.  The part I don’t understand is why?  If it’s not trust, what is it?”

Mulder racked his brain. How could he tell her that he didn’t want her to know his past because it was just one disappointment after another?  How did he tell her Jerry didn’t want to be his partner because her new partner was a pompous arrogant ass?  Because he got so obsessed and absorbed he left everyone behind including his career.  How do you tell your partner that?

Scully did not want to give this up. “You ever think that maybe we can think on the same wavelength if you let me in?”

“There are things I can’t tell you.” Mulder said looking down at the desk.

“Why?  Because you think I’ll run to Blevins?” Scully crossed her arms, her lower lip jutting out as she blew her hair away from her face.

“No, because you have lied and covered up for me enough already…  For the work.” Mulder took his glasses off his face and rubbed his eyes.  “If there are things you don’t know, it keeps you safe and it keeps you from lying and having to hide. Knowing the truth can be very dangerous.” 

“For someone who seeks the truth Mulder, you sure keep enough of it to yourself.” It was clear she didn’t understand what came along with the knowledge, but she had sharpened her sword today and she wasn’t above hitting below the belt with it.

“Scully, that’s not fair.  You have to trust me.  You have to trust that it’s to keep you safe.”  Why didn’t she understand that knowing too much could get her killed? Killed for something she didn’t believe in and was not sure even existed. How does he tell her that if she really knew him she may just walk away and find herself another partner?  How does he tell her he didn’t want to see her leave?  That she was the best partner he’d ever had, that he hardly knew her and he already trusted her implicitly? That he’d already confided in her more than he had confided in anyone?  He knew eventually the time would be right and she would take on the burden of what he knew, but not today.

“And Mulder, there’s another little secret you haven’t let me in on.”

“What?”

“That two weeks ago was your birthday!”

“Oh, Yeah…  Scully, I don’t really celebrate…well…anything.  Birthdays, holidays.  My family wasn’t really big on it and after my sister…. I’m not exactly the celebratory type.  Besides, this way you won’t feel as bad when I forget yours.”  He gave her a weak smile and she seemed to have taken it as an adequate response.  He placed his glasses back on his face and buried his nose back into his report.  Scully would grow to appreciate gestures like gifts and birthday remembrances the way Garfield the cat knew it was a good day, by contrasting it to the bad ones.

***

“Samantha!”

Sweat drenching his clothes, Mulder woke from the same nightmare he had encountered since he first started regression therapy.  Every night he relived her abduction.  Every night he drowned in a sea of helplessness.  Sometimes in the dream she was still a child, others a grown adult, but the end was always the same.  He could never save her.

Mulder peeled himself off of his leather couch and splashed cold water on his face.  It was an early frosty fall morning and the sun hadn’t peaked its head out, but Mulder needed to run.  Brushing his teeth, he looked at himself in disgust.  Dark circles had formed crescents beneath his eyes.  Lines tugged near his lashes. As each day passed, time threatened to release its grip on his sister and the memory.  How many more days would time allow him?  He threw on his sweats and headed out the door.

Cold hard concrete bit at his feet through his Nikes. The harsh October air stinging his lungs as he ran.  At the moment he felt as though he could run forever, reveling in the power of his stride and endurance.  Clinging to his body his t-shirt provided little warmth. He picked up speed passing early morning joggers, leaves crunching underneath him. His lungs screamed out.  Like his sister. Like Jerry. Like Agent Wallenberg.  Haunting him in his dreams. Why can’t I ever save anyone? His leg muscles are now a steady ache but he deserved the punishment.  Pain meant he was still alive and if he was still alive he could find his sister.  She was out there somewhere and who knew what pain she might be enduring.  He turned the corner and started another lap.

****

In an undisclosed location…..

 

“So what is your opinion of how Agent Scully is faring with Fox Mulder?” Spender took a drag from his cigarette, savored the moment, and exhaled slowly.

“So far her reports have been unremarkable and vague.  The proof has not been forthcoming either way.”

“So, nothing condemning.”

“No.” 

“Was it a mistake to pair him with a female?” Spender glanced out the window and took another drag.

The other man started to fidget. “Well the thought process would be that he might let his guard down sooner with a woman.  Agent Scully is more than qualified to make the correct observations.”

A skinny older gentlemen with gray hair began to speak in an annoyed tone. “You’re going to need Blevins to put more pressure on her.  The x-files is gaining too much momentum.  Mulder is getting too close.  She needs to understand her career is at stake.  She was supposed to help us put an end to all this and instead we’ve got half of congress on his side.  Soon they’ll be passing a bill on alien autopsies.”

“He could always have an unfortunate accident. There are ways.” Another man replied.  He was also older with dark curly hair that was graying.  He had a pig nose with an almost bulldog face.  His voice was low and monotone, but carried the room.

“Let’s make this perfectly clear,” Spender interrupted, “No one is to touch Fox Mulder.  No one. He is mine to control.  I allowed him the x-files and I will lead him out.  There are uses for a man like that.  You’re just too thick headed to see into the future.”

“And what if he learns too much?” The dark haired man asked. His fingers were interlocked and his thumbs were strumming on his protruding belly.  The scowl across his face was almost menacing.

“We have ways of taking care of that as well.” Spender answered.  He was allowing the man his questions, but it was obvious he was visibly annoyed.

“And Agent Scully?”

“I like her.” Spender took the last hit of his cigarette and put it out in the ashtray. “I want to see how far she’ll go.”

****

 3 hours later in Blevin’s office….

“They filled out a 302 for investigation into the Arctic Ice Core Project.” Blevin’s was explaining to the man with the dark hair and the bulldog face. “This case concerns that team of scientists that drilled so far down they went right into a meteor.  What they discovered we can only speculate.”

“If they perform a proper investigation, Agent Mulder will soon come to believe ancient alien organisms in that meteor were related to their deaths.” The man with the curly dark hair was pacing. “The military has already secured their plan for eradication, so however far they get, an investigation will soon be moot.” The man paused and his face brightened with revelation. “Spender gave us orders not to touch Agent Mulder, but approving this 302 form isn’t touching him.  He requested it.”

“And if he doesn’t come back?” Bevins asked.

 “Then our problem is solved without repercussions from Spender.”  The two of them smiled at each other and Blevins signed his approval at the bottom of the form.

  * [Ice]



“Mulder come with me.  The others are dead.  It’s just me and you now.”  It was Scully holding her hand out, wanting him to follow.  His sister was standing opposite her.  “Fox, do you trust her? Do you trust her with your life?  With my life?  Fox!  Fox!”

Mulder’s eyes shot open in terror. It was only a dream, but he was encased in total darkness and even though his eyes were open he could not see.  It took him a minute to become aware of his surroundings.  Then he remembered. Scully had locked him in a storage room.  He was in the Arctic being suspected of an alien species inhabiting his body and controlling his temperament, causing him to act violent.  Scully was out there alone with the rest of the team.  He knew he wasn’t infected, but he listened to Scully just the same.  Did he trust her?  Yes.  He trusted her with his life.  He trusted and respected her ability to find a solution to controlling these beings, but he was worried for her safety out there without him.   He heard yelling, but they were muffled.  It angered him that he was locked away like a rabid animal.  At the same time, it forced him to trust Scully in a way he had never trusted another human being.  Not only was he trusting her not to decide with them that he should be killed, but also for her to know enough to find the answers without being killed herself.  He now had the answer to his previous inquiry as to why they had given them the case.  They were brilliant and expendable.  It had gotten suddenly quiet on the other side of the door and for a minute he wondered if they had killed each other or left him for dead. 

_“I can’t do this to him until I’m sure.”_ He heard Scully’s muffled voice.  He knew he could always count on Scully for his best interest. What was their plan?

When the door finally opened, the bright light blinded him.  He jumped up startled and ready to fight if necessary.

  _“It’s just you?”_ He asked still off guard.

_“Yes”_

_“Two worms in one host kill each other.”_ She explained to him reviewing what he had missed while in the cell that the others had created for him.

_“If you give me one worm, you’ll infect me.”_ What part of not infected didn’t anyone understand?

_“If that’s true then why didn’t you let us inspect you?”_

_“I would have, but you pulled a gun on me.”_

_“Now I don’t trust them, but I want to trust you.”_ With each sentence he glared into her eyes, reaching inside her so she could see his honesty, feel it.

_“Okay, but now they’re not here.”_ She replied.

Without question, he turned his back to her, his body ready for perusing at her will.  He trusted that she wouldn’t harm him.  He saw in her eyes the Scully that he had come to realize was reserved for only him.  The one that would go after a liver eating mutant without fear or believe that it was possible for a man who was in a persistent vegetative state to come out at night to run around in the forest.

Her hands were cold and clinical. He turned to look at her intensely when she was done.  With their eyes they spoke once again.  Hers conveying happiness and relief while he countered back, I tried to tell you I was okay. As she turned to leave he knew he must check her too.  Even if she had no symptoms she could have been infected shortly before coming in.  As he laid his hands on her, she let out a surprised gasp.  A sudden vision of him throwing her naked body up against the wall and taking her from behind ran through his head. The thought caused his knees to weaken. He quickly wiped it away, this was neither the time nor the place.  His perverted mind never ceasing to amaze even himself.  Besides, he didn't have those kind of feelings towards her.  Slowly and methodically he ran his hands over her back and neck, massaging it, lingering more than he knew he should.  Her skin was porcelain and smooth like silk. The softest skin he had ever felt.  She opened the door when he was finished explaining to the others that they were parasite free.

*

Pinned to the ground unable to move, with an alien worm inches from his ear, Mulder was saved at the last second. The doctor saw the worm inside Dasilva.  Struggling, Mulder held her down with Scully assisting.  Scully screamed to him that this was the last of the parasites, waiting for him to make the call she knew he would make.  It was more important to save Dasilva then to hold onto their proof and opportunity for study.   

_“Do it!”_ He cried.

Scully was talking to Dasilva trying to calm her down, but she was caressing his hand too.  Her words were meant for him as well.  He sacrificed so it all would stop right there and then.  He wished that were true.  When they arrived back at Doolittle Airfield in Nome, he wanted to go back to complete the investigation, but it was too late and the military had torched the place.  200,000 years down in the ice it was still there.  He looked over at Scully and saw that she had been through enough and there was nothing left for him to do.  Feeling slightly defeated he followed her to the car back into the night.

[Post Ice]

Just like the first bite of an apple, the first drag of a cigarette was always the most satisfying.  And he had enjoyed every puff he had ever taken. From that first drag after the JFK assassination to the new pack he was currently unwinding.  He brought the pack up to his nose and slowly inhaled.  Now that was joy wrapped up like a gift.  Standing in the corner of the room listening to Agent Scully ramble on about how “Agent Mulder is so competent” and “Agent Mulder is a brilliant man” was sickening him. It was apparent that she had him on a pedestal so high he was competing with Everest.  Although, Spender had only himself to blame.  Spender had been very careful to select Dana Scully. He had known of her father from the naval ships stationed out in California.  An honorable Captain. She was hand-picked from the litter of people in the world. It was the least he could do after taking Diana away from Fox.  He saw through Diana in a way Fox never could and she took his offer without a second thought to Fox or his x-files.  Diana may have scouted him from the beginning looking for her seat at the table.  What she didn’t know was that she may live longer than the others for her loyalty, after all she was a good soldier, but when that music stopped, all the chairs would already be taken. No, Diana didn’t deserve him, but Dana, he knew Dana was special.  She was young and full of spirit.  Feisty, a real spitfire. She had a way about her that told him that no one could ever break her.  He turned and watched her for a moment taking a long drag on the cigarette, savoring the high, floating away from life for the moment.  She was beautiful in mind and body from her fiery hair to those icy blue eyes.  Well, if she didn’t go for Mulder, he was always available. The smile that formed on his face was that of an evil cartoon character.  Putting himself back in check and his cigarette out in the ash tray, he motioned to Blevins with a nod to wrap things up so he could get on with his day.

  * [Post Space]



Restaurants with linen tablecloths were not the usual for lunch during the workweek for Dana Scully, but Assistant Director Lisa Hibble had insisted.

“Please Dana, call me Lisa” said the Assistant Director.

“Okay… Lisa. I haven’t spoken to you since you were teaching all of us at the academy.  What’s the occasion?” Scully was trying her best not to lean her elbows on the table, but she needed something to do with her hands.  Obviously Lisa had an agenda and she was afraid of what it might entail.

“There are some of us Dana that have concerns about your recent placement into the x-files.” Lisa took a sip of her white wine and crossed her legs.  She was a tall thin woman with long brown curly hair.  Her nails were manicured with French tips that she liked to tap along the wine glass. 

“Concerns, like what?”  The waiter brought her salad and Scully started munching away.

 “Dana, you know why they put you there…”

“Yes, to debunk a man’s work.” Scully wasn’t in the mood for anything other than straight talk.

“You might say that…Well… from what I’m hearing in meetings, your reports have not been quite so forthcoming..”

“I’m not going to string a man up without sufficient proof.”

“Yes, then there’s the proof.   You haven’t found any to support these theories?”

“Well, when we do have proof it seems to mysteriously disappear… but no… we do not.” To serve as a counterbalance she adds, “Our record is 75%, which is a very high conviction rate for any department.”

“I can hear your defensiveness Dana.  It is understandable, but I am only trying to make sure someone is looking out for your interests.”

“My interests?” Scully was playing with her grape tomato.  She could see her new life would consist of a lot of justifications to everyone for everything.

“Yes.  What are your career goals?  Is this the direction you truly want to go?  There are not a lot of woman in the FBI and I need to know you are not being led down a path and you are given opportunities for advancement.”  She saw Scully’s look of disgust. “I’m not referring to Agent Mulder.  This is only about you and the x-files.  You don’t need to be used for the means of others. You also need to understand, x-files are very controversial.  There are dangers associated with these cases.  More dangerous than a usual case.  There are other agencies within the government that would rather these cases stay unexplained.  As an FBI agent I already know you’re willing to put your life on the line, but are you willing to go up against federal agencies and the enhanced risks and scrutiny?  You’re risking your life, you’re career.” Scully was shaking her head so Lisa tried again. “Let’s take this from another tack. If you are successful and debunk his work, you may get a promotion, but what will be the response of your colleagues knowing you were the one with the axe?  Say you fail in their eyes and you legitimize his theories; no one in those higher offices will be pleased.   Is this the path you really want to go down? There really is no winning.  I can provide you with an out and save your career.  I can have you report to me, take you on for mentoring and place you on a development plan that will lead to a true career.”

Scully set down her fork and wiped her mouth with the linen napkin. Looking Lisa in the eyes she answered her. “From everything I have seen, Agent Mulder needs my help. I don’t want to leave him alone down there.  I’m afraid what will happen to him.”

“So you’ll pass on this unique opportunity and jeopardize your career for him, a man you don’t even know.”

“There’s more to it. I enjoy what I’m doing.  This is a good opportunity whether anyone sees it as that or not. All I’ve witnessed so far. I don’t know people who have been in the bureau for 20 years that have been privy to such experiences.  As for proof, I did give them a piece of hard proof in the form of an object made of metal of an unknown origin.  There was no response. So far we have solved the mystery of a parasitic organism, convicted a man for murder, recovered a missing girl, and put away a cannibal.  I’ve experienced things in this short amount of time that I cannot explain. The work is exciting, invigorating.  This past week we assisted in a shuttle landing.  We still have open files and I’ve got big questions about what is truly happening.  Something is trying to be shoved under a rug by someone and I want to know what that something is.  I’m not saying its extraterrestrial, but there are questions here that someone should be continuing to ask.”

Lisa motioned for the check. “It’s apparent I’m not going to be able to change your mind over lunch.  Look Dana, whenever you change your mind and are looking to focus on your career, my door will still be open.  Just promise me you will tread with caution.” Her words still lingering in the air as they departed the restaurant.

****

One Week Later….

Barely contained rage was smoldering underneath Scully’s amber locks offset only by the turbulence of the flight.  Mulder had outdone himself this time and as usual she was being held accountable to retrieve him.  She had not heard from him for a couple days which should have tipped her off, but she suppressed the urge to hunt him down.  That was when the fun began.  Scully had the opportunity to get called into Blevin’s office upon arriving to work only to discover Section Chief McGrath had gone over Blevin’s head ordering a fully inquiry into Mulder’s actions.  She endured the wrath of raised voices and threats to shut down the x-files. The new addition to the normal tirade was that they were now threatening to throw Mulder out of the bureau for ignoring jurisdiction and protocol.  What could have possessed this man to go to Wisconsin of all places?  What was so important to risk your job and possible jail time?  To close down everything you live for?  Scully’s face turned whiter as the plane continued its roller coaster ride and realization struck.  This was about UFOs.  Again.  The captain came on the overhead announcing for the flight attendants to prepare for landing.  Finally.  But was the road ahead with Mulder any less treacherous? What insidious plot had Mulder woven into their fates?


	5. G.I. Joe and the Supersoldiers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a glimpse into the thoughts of Deep Throat during the episode "Fallen Angel". The world that Scully thought she knew is slowly crumbling. Next Mulder and Scully play mom and dad and learn about Super Soldiers taking place in the time of the episode "Eve". Most of this chapter takes place in the mind of Dana Scully.

Deep Throat, as Scully had tagged him, had managed to steer Mulder towards Townsend, Wisconsin and a downed UFO, while he sat through meetings concerning the military’s debauchery and recovery efforts of the alien. Hunting and murdering aliens made him reminiscent of when he was young.  Back then they had little to go on and still were able to keep it together better than the buffoons attempting the clean-up missions of today.  The Syndicate had grown too large, much more complicated than what ran the world in the 50’s and 60’s.  That time period everything was simpler and more meaningful.  Their efforts were concentrated on a singular purpose – to save mankind.  He and Bill Mulder had secretly devised a way to continue the fight against the alien virus, focusing on the development of a vaccine.  When the heat on them was too great Bill “retired” to draw the attention away from their developments.  It was now in his hands to keep the secret enterprise moving forward, but he was getting too old for such things.  That was until a revelation occurred to him one night as he was babysitting Fox Mulder through the video lens of his camera. Mulder had grown into the man needed to take on their cause.  He was the one capable of saving all mankind, but the man he called Deep Throat was also aware he couldn’t just spring it on Mulder.  No, the truth was something Mulder needed to discover himself so he could fight the good fight and get the word out so people knew what to prepare for.  The sounding board for the ages.  It also helped that Mulder was among the “untouchables” by both The Syndicate and their alien counterparts.  When Bill had “retired”, it was only on the premise that Mulder was kept safe and no harm was to ever come to him.  He knew the others would only abide by their commitment for so long, but he and Spender had managed to maintain their protection enough to even allow him the x-files.  The way he saw it, Mulder couldn’t help himself.  It was in his blood.  Now who that blood had originated from was a different story.  The others never caught on and luckily neither did Bill Mulder, but he and Spender knew the truth.  He produced many a cover-up over the years to keep Bill from discovering the reality of the situation.  That his marriage had been destroyed long before it had ended.  Ruthless as he was, he still considered Spender a friend.  For that, he helped him keep an eye on Mulder. After all, they had been through alot together, seen and experienced too much, made decisions for the world, performed crazed deeds, insidious lies, and in the end formed a cohesive team.   

Mulder was different than both his fathers.  Raised outside their world, his perspective was innocent and teeming with ethics and morality.  Mulder could never be bought or tempted to change his ways.  His level of commitment unwavering. If there was anyone who could save the human race or represented the good in it all, it was Mulder.  Watching from afar he had grown to trust Mulder for he knew who he was.  Maybe he was the good that would rise out of the ashes long after they burned in hell. 

Now in his twilight years, Deep Throat knew he couldn’t stand on the sidelines and die without somehow trying to put up a valiant effort.  When he saw Spender assign Agent Scully he knew the timing was right.  Agent Scully was the perfect match for Mulder.  The two were perfect opposites, creating a team that had power the others didn’t fathom.  But he knew how great they were going to be and he believed he knew Spender’s motivation as well.  Spender betrayed himself.  Always denying his love for Mulder, but it was obvious.  He knew he was very proud of all Mulder had become and protected him at all cost.  Still, he could never let the others pick up on the truth for they would surely kill them all. Yes, now was the time to step into Mulder’s life and steer him towards the truth so he had time to accept his role.  For the date would soon be set and with it everyone’s fate. This was the perfect opportunity for Mulder to see for himself the cover-ups, the power the military had assumed, and maybe get an eye on an actual UFO.  Wouldn’t that be marvel? At the very least he would begin to understand the capabilities.

Mulder woke in the confines of the cage the military chose to hold him in. From out of the darkness, a light shone bright as if coming from the heavens.  It was pure and blinding and stepping towards him the shadow of an angel appeared.  Powerful and cunning. It was Scully and his angel had steam radiating off of her.  Ouch.  She was upset.  “I didn’t order room service”, he mocked attempting to lighten her scowl, but to no avail.   She didn’t seem to be as appreciative as he was at a chance for a close encounter.  Her words whipped around and lashed at him, stinging him as they spewed.  Why couldn’t she understand the conspiracy was real corrupting the government she held so dear?  Did she really not want to accept that the fight for truth, justice, and the American way could be grayed by corrupt leaders?  Her attempts at dissuasion failed only because he knew what he saw and he was going to prove it.

Once Mulder was remanded back into her custody, Scully attempted again to get him to recognize the penalties for his actions. Crossing the parking lot to his motel room, Scully was on Mulder’s heels not letting him out of her sight until she persuaded him back to D.C. She didn’t want a repeat of Ellen’s Air Force Base and she didn’t want to accept the fact that he could be right. Not to mention she didn’t want to accept the fact that the view in front of her was rather a pleasant one in which her eyes kept gazing downward. He looked good in black. His crack about “The Last Detail” starring Dana Scully as he unlocked the door made her recall the scene of that film where they helped the transport get laid as part of his one last good time before incarceration.  Of course Mulder’s version of having a good time was 24 more hours of playing is there is or is there ain’t an alien lurking in the woods. Given a choice, she may have preferred the former.  Her thoughts were abruptly interrupted upon entering the room to find it totally ransacked by none other than Max from NICAP.

You know him? Scully’s eyes asked.  In a matter of sorts Mulder’s eyes countered back.  Max expounded on NICAPs knowledge of him to include his publishing of The Gulf Breeze sightings to which he glanced embarrassingly at Scully.  She didn’t need to know all of his side projects.  Just as Mulder didn’t need to know he got his writing aspirations from his dear ol’ dad. As they left Mulder couldn’t help himself and voiced his appreciation for the thought of her being the enigmatic Scully.  While others may see her as Sphinxlike, Mulder saw her as an open book with chapters only yet to be read.  An interesting and intelligent read at that.  The only thing he found mysterious about Scully was where she kept her hollow leg.  She could eat a man under the table and never appeared to gain a pound.  He also couldn’t quite understand how she wasn’t already taken, but when he thought about it he couldn’t think of a man who would have the audacity to stand nose to nose with her anyway.  He couldn’t imagine a man alive good enough for Scully.

Per the norm, Scully was torn between Mulder and protocol.  Not showing for their hearing would certainly result in immediate dismissal and Mulder showed no interest.  How could he afford to be so bold?  Did he believe if he came back with the truth they would just exonerate him and throw a party in his honor?  Just as she had convinced herself to return to D.C. with or without Mulder and issue him an ultimatum, bodies began arriving with 5 th and 6 th degree burns.  The doctor on staff had requested her assistance which could hold up as a good enough reason to miss the hearing, right?  Now she was as intrigued as Mulder and as she looked at him with questioning eyes he answered back for her to stay.  So she did.  These men obviously needed her help. 

*

The next morning

Mulder gave her this immensely cute puppy dog face and there was no way she could refuse. It was scary the way a look from him could halt her in her tracks the way it did.  Being with him was dangerous. They still had a chance of catching the plane to the hearing, but if he wanted her to examine Max she wouldn’t let him down.  To deny him would be to deny herself the chance to prove his theories and to deny herself of a true partnership. She had made that dedication clear. She would never turn her back on him.  Whether she would embrace the truth or not, it was as much a part of her as it was in him.

Dealing with Mulder was exasperating at best.  At worst he could land them both in military prison.  Mulder was determined to save Max from certain death knowing the colonel would be after him. To find Max would be to have the chance to kill the alien they had been hunting. She went with him, she didn’t believe, but she wouldn’t let him go alone.  So she got in the car.

Now here she was.  At the office of professional responsibility hearing on Day 4 of their investigation.  She would do anything to help Mulder, but they were asking questions they already knew the answers to. It seemed they were taking her involvement as just a recovery assignment and nothing more.  It was more than unfair to judge Mulder by the same criteria as other agents, but they weren’t listening.  She worried for him.  He was joking as usual, but she was sad.   Even if she did have a career opportunity to fall back on, she didn’t want to lose him as her partner and his eyes empathized with all she was going through. Obviously she knew the x-files division was in constant jeopardy, but it didn’t stop her from wanting it to never end.  Mulder and the unfathomable were at every turn.  He was opening up layers of life to her that she could never have seen on her own. Another dimension on top of the current of status quo.

As she skimmed through the newspaper waiting for the panel to deliberate, she saw the headline.  It was obvious now that the cover-up was a success.  She had heard it on the radio, seen it with her own eyes, the newspaper was filled with lies to satiate an already misguided public.

To Scully and Mulder’s surprise, they were both let go without reprimand, another unsolved mystery to log in the filing cabinet.

On the flip side, McGrath was furious that Mulder slipped through his tight fisted fingers, but he would get over it.  Deep Throat knew much more than McGrath would ever be privy to comprehend.  Mulder was simply following his orders and not being insubordinate.  On the contrary, he was loyal to the highest extant.  McGrath was not any of Deep Throat’s concern.  All those sitting in their high chairs were peons in a world they only thought they knew.  Given important titles for menial jobs.  Pacifying the masses was their only role.  Mulder was on to greater things and he would see to it that he was successful.

[Eve]

Two small puncture wounds in the jugular.  Blood Letting.  Mulder joked the man was running on empty.  The fact that she found his corny jokes both amusing and charming disturbed her. Cattle mutilations of surgical precision.  Exsanguination.  He got so happy when he was able to enlighten her as to another piece of the world she had yet to experience. Scully would get used to hearing these words and phrases as investigating them would be part of her future.  As he continued, her mind wandered to what sounded like a good title to a Muppet Movie: Vampires from Outer Space.  She pictured the aliens with their big grey heads sitting in science class worrying about if Johnny would get to have Susie as his lab partner with an exsanguinated cow lying in wait. 

Scully listened and watched Mulder as he spoke with the little girl. His voice was so tender. The way he got people to open up, the way he spoke to children. He had a way about him that made you want to tell him your life story.  During those times he wore his innocence on his sleeve.  His purity of soul and openness of mind made others want to do the same.  He was way beyond special, talents and brilliance few could appreciate, but she did.  She knew how incredible he was and would pave whatever trail he went down until others saw him the way she did.  His mind stimulating and invigorating her own.  That was her partner.

A tall balding man played the man referred to as Deep Throat the audio of Mulder and Scully discussing their new case.  So Mulder had discovered the Super Soldier program.  Excellent.  He would need guidance no doubt, but this would be a breakthrough and perhaps catapult him to the next level.  Deep Throat nodded his head and picked up the phone to make arrangements to travel to California.

Out of the corner of her eye Scully saw the reflection of her and Mulder as they watched the video of Dr. Sally Kendrick.  Their body language matching their trains of thought.  Mulder at the forefront, with his tie askew, leaning away from her.  Scully’s cross and weight shifting in the opposite direction of Mulder.  Could it be a representation of their future partnership or perhaps Mulder’s insistence of keeping his own secrets that kept her at bay and them on a bed at arm’s length? The phone rang as they continued their discussion of the case.  A couple clicks at the end of a dead receiver caused him to rush her out manhandling her as he did.  Was it a woman? Did he have someone coming over? Why did it matter to her?  Because she wanted all of him.  Just as she gave her life and her career to him, she expected the same from him.  Would a woman in Mulder’s life bother her?  She wouldn’t know why. It would be nice to see that other side of him come out, but it did bother her that he couldn’t speak with her about it.  She wanted no secrets between them.  Did she think his inability to open up had something to do with her being a woman?  She didn’t think Mulder even noticed.  When she heard Mulder’s motel room door bang shut Scully threw on her jacket and followed, keeping her distance. She couldn’t just stay in her room and not know what he was up to.  She followed him into the night as he took his midnight stroll to the docks. Creeping behind bushes she stalked him in silence. She saw their shadows, but failed to hear their voices as the shrubbery stabbed into her hair.  It wasn’t a woman at all, but an older gentlemen.  What was it that Mulder was hiding?  Did the fact that it was business and not pleasure make it better or worse?  It was all the same to Scully.  A secret was a secret. Instead of taking it as his character flaw, she internalized it as a challenge, an obstacle to overcome.  She would earn his confidence in all things.  This was a partnership and a friendship she wanted for the long haul.  As she snuck back into her room she had it in her mind that they would never speak of this, he would never know.  She wanted to earn his confidence through hard work and resilience.

If Scully was looking for undeniable proof that the government she cherished, that her family fought long and hard to preserve and represent, had reprehensible aspects, this was it.  The Litchfield experiments.  Experiments in eugenics to give birth to humans with altered DNA through cloning. The creation of 56 chromosomes.  Heightened strength, intelligence, and psychosis. Sally Kendrick was creating abominations and their care was funded by the American tax dollar. 

With the two girls under their responsibility, Mulder and Scully took off into the night.  Stopping at a diner for bathroom breaks and caffeine, Scully scanned the patrons looking for possible threats, but what she saw were loving stares from people seeing them as husband and wife.  The thought made her squeamish.  Or maybe it was the sweetness of her diet soda.  Scully watched Mulder as he let one of the girls pay at the counter.  The scene melted her heart.  It was such a fatherly thing to do.  Not knowing to need their usual walls around their hearts, their vulnerability seeped through, and they easily fell into the family role with each other.  Which was most likely what deterred them from picking up on the fact that their sodas were laced with foxglove.  Luckily, their IQs were advanced enough to outsmart two genetically mutated geniuses. 

Back in California they confronted Mrs. Reardon.  As they spoke Scully noticed the reflection from the mirror over the mantle of the fireplace.  Her and Mulder now standing together as one, like a picture from a photo album.  If there had been only one of them you would have seen the silhouette burned from a need of the other.  If she was the extension of his right hand, then he her left. It reminded her again that it was only time that separated her from his full confidence and her acceptance of his rightful place within her own private refuge.

###  **Chapter Management**


	6. Where There's Smoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking place after the Episode "Fire", Mulder and Scully have lunch. Followed by how differently they both end up celebrating Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. If you've read about some of the lines they removed from this episode, I left you an Easter egg.

“I’m not looking for a relationship anymore Scully. That part of my life might as well be over.”  The weight of the sentence fell with a thud as he threw it out on the table. “I’m tired of getting hurt, tired of the mind games.  It’s not like I’ve ever pictured myself married with kids.  I don’t have the desire for any of that. I’ve got my…”

“work”, Scully finished. “You shouldn’t use it as an excuse, but I could see how Phoebe Greene could tarnish your outlook.” Scully looked around the restaurant.  Where was that waiter? 

“If you think she’s bad, you should meet the others.” Mulder had his head in his hands rubbing his eyes.   

“There’s more?” Scully really didn’t want to know anymore.  She had seen and heard enough.  And Mulder had picked the restaurant with the slowest service in history. 

“She was sleeping with a married man the whole time she was throwing herself at me.” He looked so distraught.  He really thought he had another chance with her.  He actually wanted another chance with her.  She guessed it was to prove to himself all the pain he had gone through wasn’t for nothing.  That maybe there were redeeming qualities in everyone.  Unfortunately, if he was looking for sympathy from her he had come to the wrong place.

“That kind of woman gets off on you following her around like a sick puppy.” As she heard the words leave her mouth she realized they had come out a little harsher than she meant it.

“Was that what I was doing Scully? If I remember correctly, you followed me all the way to Boston for something I’m pretty sure could have been handled over the phone.” Of course now the waiter came with their food.

“I wasn’t leaving you alone with that ……well you know what she is.” Scully took a bite into her chicken wrap.  Mmm.  Their lite ranch dressing must have been made in house.  Couldn’t they just enjoy their meal?  The look on his face gave her the answer. 

“Scully…were you jealous?” She wiped the ranch dripping out of the corner of her mouth using the linen from her lap and let his words sink in.  His ego really needed to come back down to earth.  First he was acting like she should feel sorry for him and let him drown in self-pity and somehow that turned into him accusing her of ulterior motives.  Yet another seemingly innocent lunch to be followed by a Pepto dessert.

“Mulder, jealousy by definition is wanting to have something that someone else has.  That woman had nothing that I wanted.” And with that she popped the last bite of her wrap into her mouth, folded her arms and crossed her legs defensively waiting for his response.  She wanted to tell him that what they had as friends far surpassed anything he could have had with Phoebe and that was why she wasn’t jealous, but she wasn’t sure he got that message.

As they got back into the car to head back to headquarters she noticed his hurt expression. Starting the car, he threw his arm around the passenger seat and looked back maneuvering out of the parking space. He glanced her way. “You like watching me squirm under your scrutiny”

“I did.  It’s not often I get a chance to poke fun at your vulnerability.  It was all meant in kindness.” Scully turned towards the window and ran her hands along the door handle.  She looked back his way, watching his profile, her face slowly dropped.

“Scully what is it?”

“I wasn’t jealous Mulder, I was worried about you.  You’re my partner.”

“You took care of me.” He said as he nodded his head.  “I’m sorry I worried you.”

“As long as you’re my partner, I’ll always be there to take care of you Mulder. And as your friend I’ll be there when you need, to pick up the pieces and put you back together…” She thought about him not thinking twice about her removing his clothing, tucking him into bed, nursing him back to health, or the fact that it wasn’t until Phoebe stepped into the room that he thought to cover up. “You’re not very modest are you Mulder.”

“Not in front of you Scully.  You’re my Doc.  Besides, you showed me yours the first case we were on, so I was only repaying the favor.” He squirmed in his seat, the conversation, even in jest, too intimate than what their friendship was ready for.  To cut any awkward silence she leaned over and turned on the radio. 

When they got back to the office Mulder got behind his desk, put on his glasses and got back to work.  Scully hung up her coat. “Well, never let it be said that you wouldn’t walk through fire for a woman Mulder”

Mulder stopped what he was doing, lifted his head and looked through his specs with raised eyebrows, “And never let it be said I wouldn’t do it for you again, Scully”

She nodded her head nervously.  It was her turn to react to their newly found form of banter. Scully left the office headed to the bathroom. “Oh and Sherlock….” She said as she darted her head back from the door frame.

“Yes Watson…” Mulder countered.

“You would never have a three pipe problem with me.” Scully’s eyebrows raised as she licked her top lip and with that she strutted from sight.

“Yeah, I know.” He whispered to himself.

*

Thanksgiving came and went.  Scully spent her weekend at her mom’s house with the family and Mulder spent his making the rounds.  First at his mother’s house and then his father’s.  Holidays were always so depressing and he had already made excuses as to why he wouldn’t be around for Christmas.  The rest of the weekend was spent with The Lone Gunman playing video games tossing around conspiracy theories.

“So Mulder, Frohike told us you ran into Phoebe last month.” Langley said as he walked between the computer desks heading for the couch with a mug of coffee in his hand.

“Yes, nothing I want to talk about or rehash.” Mulder answered.  He was completely enthralled in Doom II playing with Frohike and someone in Japan over the LAN connection. “I would have had a better time if Diana joined us and slowly cut out my testicles with a butcher knife.”

“Ouch. That bad eh?” Langley made a face as he straightened his pajama bottoms.

“Yeah, that bad. At least Scully was around to..” Mulder winced.  He really didn’t want to discuss Scully.  The guys took everything too far.  He knew they would jump to conclusions and bug him to meet her. He wasn’t ready for that.  He wasn’t sure how she would respond to them so he thought it was best to keep them under wraps for the time being.

“Scully? Who’s he?” Langley asked.  They were quick on the uptake.

“It’s a she, an Agent Dana Scully, Mulder’s new chick-a-dee..” Added Frohike.

“No, she’s not Frohike. She’s my partner.  Don’t go there..” Why did he open his big mouth? Mulder gripped the controls tighter and started shooting everything in sight.

“Aren’t we touchy Mulder.  Is that why you’re afraid to bring her around?” Now Byers had entered the conversation.

“That’s exactly why.  When I do I need you guys to be on your best behavior.  She’s becoming a good friend and I don’t want you guys scaring her away.”

“So is she up on all the latest in paranormal?  Does she jive with your theories?” Byers inquired.

“She’s…..she’s skeptical, but she’s a doctor with a background in hard science so it’s in her nature to question.  She keeps me on my toes.”

“I bet she’s hot.” Frohike said as dozens of demons explode on the screen.

“She’s someone you might find attractive.” Mulder answered.

“Oh, yeah.  She’s hot.” Frohike said nodding his head, destroying the last of the demons in the building.

“This is why I keep her away from here.”

Christmas Day found Scully on the other side of the country at her brother Charlie’s house.   Mulder, true to form, was in his office typing away. He got up to look through the cabinet and grab another file.  He picked up the one that was on the desk to put it away and a white envelope fell to his feet.  Bending down to pick it up he noticed in Scully’s handwriting the words “Merry Christmas” scribbled in the center.  Scully had left him a Christmas card.  He opened it immediately feeling bad that he hadn’t got her one.  On the cover was an alien spaceship beaming up some reindeer and Santa with the word Believe across the top. On the inside there were two aliens with Santa hats staring at a long scroll titled Naughty and Nice list. One alien was saying “Forget the FBI files, we just hit the motherlode!” On the left inside of the card Scully had scribbled: I’ve stumbled upon the porn on your computer.  If you want presents this year you better leave Santa a lot of cookies. Merry Christmas, Dana Scully.  He walked over and slid the card into his coat for safe keeping.  Later that evening, the card would find it's way to a Nike shoebox in his apartment that also contained a Liberty Bell brochure and some other items he chose to save from their expeditions. 

As Mulder continued his work, The Smoking Man stood silently in the hallway, identified only by the faint glow of his cigarette.  He had visited many a Christmases with Mulder as a child, whether in person or through surveillance. Once Mulder had started the x-files, he often found himself on the other side of a solid oak door in the basement of the FBI. The two were connected if only by their isolation.  The brilliant ones often are.  With one last hit of his cigarette he paused, appreciating the sweet addicting flavors hidden behind the bitterness.  Representation of a life.  Mulder stilled, thinking he heard footsteps and smelled smoke, but cancelled the thought assuming it was his imagination and continued his research.

New Year’s Eve

Music pounded through the speakers of the dance club.  Scully wasn’t sure how Ellen and her sister talked her into coming out on New Year’s Eve.  It was such a bad idea.  Ellen was lucky enough to get a babysitter and was celebrating lip-locked with her husband on the dance floor.  Her sister, on the other hand was having a good time by the bar surrounded by men all too eager to buy her a cocktail.  A good-looking blonde haired man was nice enough to Scully, but she could only offer his baby blues a half-hearted smile when he invited her to dance.  This was not her scene.  She looked at her watched and realized it was almost 10 minutes to midnight.  The music soon lowered so Dick Clark’s voice could be heard. Everyone was coupled together and congregating towards the televisions in the room.  Even her sister had picked out one of the men to share the moment.  Scully recalled her own revolving door of men.  Was she really too picky?  Was it a fear of intimacy?  She was waiting for that thing.  Indescribable and out of reach, yet it kept driving her away from everyone else and towards the unknown.  There was no point in getting close to someone who would only leave anyway.  5 minutes till midnight.  The club had a slight aroma of baby goat and desperation.  Here’s to a good year she thought to herself standing on the outside of the ring of onlookers.  Dick Clark was getting increasingly excited through the television as everyone in Times Square donned funny glasses and hats, freezing and happy.  Soon her torment would be over and she could be back in her familiar bed in her comfortable house.  Mulder’s image flashed into her head as a guy from across the room reminded her of him.  He would be the one to understand her dilemma.  Then her phone rang.  She quickly pulled it out noticing the time of 11:57 PM.

“Dana Scully.”

“Hey Scully.” His voice shocked her.  He was the last person she thought she would hear from tonight.

“Mulder.  Is everything alright?”

“Fine. Am I catching you at a bad time?”

“No….actually, this is a fine time.”

His voice was warm and friendly and such a welcome sound.  Dick Clark counted down the New Year through the phone on his end as she watched from the television in the club.  The New Year rang in, everyone celebrating and kissing, holding one another tight. Auld Lang Syne played and Mulder’s voice cracked from her cell phone. “Happy New Year Scully.”

“Happy New Year Mulder.”

She continued watching the snowstorm of confetti shower Times Square through the television as she listened to him breathe. “Was there a reason you called Mulder?”

“Oh, yeah… well I found this Christmas card you gave me and I wanted to thank you.”

“You just found it now?”

“No…. well… I found it last week….”

That produced a smile on her face and she could almost feel him smiling on the other end.

“Have a good night Mulder.”

“You too Scully.”  She hung up the phone just as her sister threw her arms around her, putting her off balance, kissing her hard on the cheek wishing her a Happy New Year. The smell of alcohol on her breath overpowering.  The music came back on and Melissa tugged at her towards the dancefloor.  “Come on Dana, come dance, have a good time.”


	7. I've got Jokes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking place during and after the episode "Beyond the Sea", Scully mourns the passing of her father. Mulder makes a major life decision concerning Scully. Mulder and Scully share jokes and have fun with their mental connection. I apologize for the jokes, they're from the 90's so you've probably heard them all.

That weekend would be the last Scully would spend with her father alive.  That night he visited her before his soul went into the starlight.  If she would have known it was the last time, would she have said anything any different?  Asked anything?  Hugged him just a little tighter before he left her house to take him and her mom into the night? Her father was gone.  Nothing she could ever do would bring him back.  Will she ever know if he was proud of her?

Quickly she ran to her mother’s side to comfort her.  There would be lots to prepare and her mother would look to her and Bill for the most support.

Scully’s first escape was work.  It was her comfort and solace. It was always a place she could get away and not have to think about the life outside. She called Mulder and left a message letting him know her father had passed, but she would be at work tomorrow just maybe a little late. 

When she got into work she found it refreshing to joke with Mulder concerning his porn affliction.  Thanks to Phoebe and the pyromaniac she had a nice picture in her head of what he might look like undressed on his couch engrossed in the moment. The image served as quite a pleasant distraction.

Then he called her Dana. It made her stiffen and give him a rehearsed formalized response.  Et tu Brute?  She didn’t want his consoling, she needed to work and get her mind off things.  She thought he might be the one person in the world to understand. 

Mulder was impressed by Scully’s fortitude. He continued discussing the case to respect her wishes.  Inside he wanted to support and comfort her.  The pain she must feel he thought to himself, needing to help take that pain away he ran his hand along her back as he passed.  Thinking a hug might be too intimate and inappropriate for work he stroked her face instead.  He was wrong, it was much more intimate than the hug.

As his hand caressed her cheek and thumb stroked her cheekbone she felt his communication. A rush of consoling warmth flashed through her body taking away every pain in the moment, blanketing it with the softness of his touch.  It made the top of the fortress around her heart open up and for a brief second she was sure she was on the brink of tears.  She nodded her head with acknowledgement.

Once Mulder left the office, the vision she had of her dead father peaked her curiosity. Knowing the answers were in the file cabinet she opened it and began her exploration.  She lifted the folder and held it in her hands, her fears still holding her back from opening the file for answers.

*

Boggs finally received his rightful punishment, but Scully failed to show to hear her father’s last words. Mulder sat in the hospital bed as they discussed her fear to believe in that which is beyond explanation.  He caressed her arm not sharing, but understanding her fears. With a touch that was for friendship, he remained patient, waiting for the day she would be ready to let go of the world of rigid explanations. She clung to it tightly as the truth of reality ate at her resolve with each of their experiences.  However long it took, he would be there for her when she was ready.

*[Two Weeks Later]

“You should come out with us Dana.  It should be fun.”

“Sounds like it.”  Dana answered.  Making small talk at the coffee pot in the morning was one of the few ways left that she had remained social.  All too easily she fell into her work, and with it time in their closed off office and with Mulder. The basement provided seclusion. A lair of extreme possibilities, drawing them closer as they ventured through the darkness.  The more time they spent together, the more distance they seemed to create from the rest of the world.  It was an inevitable result of their knowledge through their cases and each other of realms others couldn’t fathom. 

Just then Mulder walked by standing feverishly close.  “Morning Scully.”

“Morning Mulder” She said grabbing her coffee with two hands, getting out of his way.

Lisa stood in place seemingly frozen at the sight of him. Mulder in the bullpen was an unusual sight for everyone and usually caused some chatter among the agents. “Scully, later on, if it’s okay, I’d like to take you out to eat.  My treat.  I could pick you up maybe around 8 o’clock.  There’s something important I’d like to ask you.”

“Sure.   I hope it’s nothing bad.”

“No, it’s not bad.  Just important to me and I really hope you’ll say yes.”

“What do you think he wants?” Lisa was intrigued.  Their conversation was peculiar and to her untrained ear, laced with undertones.

“I don’t know, with Mulder it could be anything.”

“It sounded to me like he just asked you out.”

“What?  Mulder?  You just don’t know Mulder.”

“I was here Dana.  He wanted to take you out to eat and ask you something important, something he REALLY hopes you’ll say yes to.  What else could it be? He is awfully cute.”

“No. That’s not it.” The insinuation was aggravating.  She hated for anyone to witness their conversations just for that reason.

Lisa walked away doubting Scully’s interpretation and quickly looking to spread the gossip.  Meanwhile, Scully meandered down to the basement.

Mulder had his head buried in the file cabinet. “Scully, have you seen where I put those files that CSICOP sent me?”

“Mulder, it might help if we cleaned up in here a little, don’t you think?”

Mulder looked up from his fistfuls of paper. “What’s the matter Scully, you don’t like it dirty?”

She ignored him walking to the back of the office behind the projector.  It was there she found the folder and picked it up just as Mulder grabbed the other end. As their hands grazed each others, she looked upwards and their eyes locked.  She returned his smile as well as the folder.  “I found it.”

“Yeah, thanks Scully” He said hesitantly.

After he found what he was looking for, Mulder returned to the back of the office again looking for some other file he had misplaced.  Scully was ready to scold him once again and ran her tongue over her top lip in preparation.  She felt his eyes upon her before she was able to get a word out.  “You know Scully, you should be careful flashing your tongue like that.  A guy might get the wrong idea.” Scully didn’t like the innuendo so her response was only to repeat the gesture.  “What ideas are you getting now Mulder?”

“That I should probably duck.” He said with a smirk, but he knew she wasn’t above launching a stapler his way if he pushed it further.

*[That night]

The candlelight glowed from the tabletop making his eyes electric, dancing in the night as his looks shot right through her.  Nervous with anticipation, Scully played with her hair, grasping at strands to pull behind her ear to only free them and repeat the process.  “So what do I owe this late night rendezvous Mulder?”

He seemed to be as nervous as she was, fidgeting in his chair, playing with his food.  “Scully, lying in that hospital bed a couple weeks ago, all those doctors working on me, I don’t know….”

“What is it Mulder?”

“What if they had made the wrong call?  I may not be sitting here.  Total strangers deciding if I live or die yet you were forced to stay in the waiting room. Scully, you are the only person in the world that I trust to make decisions about my life.  I don’t want a situation to ever come up again where I’m being worked on without your supervision.  Scully… I want you to be my doctor.”

“Mulder, that’s a lot of responsibility….” To have her partner’s life in her hands felt like a large weight on her shoulders.  Yet she didn’t want anyone else making decisions about him if he wasn’t able.

“Scully, you’re more than capable…”

“Okay. But I really want you to think about what you’re saying…”

“I already did Scully and yes, you’re the only one I want.”

There was an awkward pause as she let all the new information set in. “Well, if I’m going to be your doctor I’m going to need a living will so I know your wishes.”

“We can go to my lawyer and draw one up next week. Which leads me to power of attorney.  I want you to have power of attorney over me as well.”

“Mulder, that’s…. Mulder…. I don’t know…. What about your parents?  There’s no one…”

“You’re who I want Scully… if you’re willing.”  This was not where she had expected this night to be headed.  She figured he wanted her to spend hours doing research on some lead or investigate someone while he attended a baseball game, not asking her if she would be the one to decide whether he lives or dies.  This brought their friendship to a whole new level, but still one that was appropriate for them and all they had to endure.

Thinking of her own situation she realized that she had never put her wishes to paper either.  Without her father all the decisions would rest on her mother’s shoulders which was not a burden she wanted her mother to have. “Mulder, I can’t say that with all that has happened with you and my father that I haven’t had some of those same thoughts… especially considering how dangerous our career choice is…. While we’re there, I will draw up mine as well.  With all the dangers we face, I should have one.  You can help me create it as we create yours.”

Mulder smiled as if the thought of having a determination in the outline of when to unplug her life support sounded pleasing. “Sounds like a date.”

That produced a smile from Scully.  She thought of Lisa.  How wrong she had been.  Maybe in the normal world Lisa may have had a clue, but not in the layers of reality they existed in.  Mulder looked content and relieved to know he could rely on her.   To have that kind of intensity in a relationship, made her fearful. If she was not careful, one day she might lose herself in him.  Their friendship already way beyond comfort zones and boundaries.  She took a sip of wine continuing to share a smile and a gaze as they had now moved on to small talk.  

*

Scully strolled in on Wednesday morning eating an apple watching Mulder hard at work creating a football field out of paper and pencils.

Scully took a bite out of her red delicious producing a rather loud crunch.  After swallowing she dared to ask the question. “Mulder, what are you doing?”

“Trying to reconstruct the football game I saw last night.”

Scully gave him a single nod.  But of course, what else could it have been? she thought to herself and walked over to the file cabinet. As she opened the drawer Mulder flicked a paper football into the air which Scully caught single handed without a glance in his direction.

“How do you do that without looking?” He was stunned.

“I already knew what you were going to do before you did it Mulder.  I saw your brain turning.” She said matter-of-factly, her eyes still on the files.  Was it really a surprise with all the time they spent together that some behaviors might be predictable?  At least Mulder’s version of predictability.

“You knew the exact trajectory my football would take?”

This man wasn’t stumped by government cover-ups or 100 year old serial killers, but catching flying paper footballs boggled his mind. “Maybe all I needed to know was how good a flicker you are.” This time she looked him straight in the eye with the beginnings of an evil sideways smirk.

“That can be arranged.” He answered without missing a beat.

If she let him, he would banter like this all day without a chance of boredom. “We have to go over to Quantico today.  We have training.”

“I feel a virus coming on.”

“As your newly appointed doctor I’m here to tell you… you have no virus. Let’s go.”

*

Mulder hated training classes and he let everyone know it.  Yet here they were in a classroom in Quantico with what seemed like countless other agents getting their yearly dose of the proper way to complete seemingly unending paperwork needed to perform their job. 

Agent Mike Calloway’s mind and eyes were wandering away from the dribble of the man they had brought in to coach them.  Why they needed coaching on filling out a form was beyond him.  He looked down at the seats in front of him only to discover none other than the famous cave dwellers – Spooky Mulder and Agent Dana Scully sitting there.  He tapped his partner on the arm in case he had missed it.  Tony nodded his way in reply.  Mulder was currently constructing one of those paper footballs.  Mike watched him flick it over to his partner to the left of him as if going for a field goal.  Agent Scully, without taking her eyes off of the instructor reached her hand up and snagged it.   That in itself he found rather creepy. What was inside she apparently found humorous, but Mike couldn’t tell what it was.  She put down some lines of her own and shot it back across hitting Mulder in the nose which made them both hold in a laugh.  Their routine carried on for quite a while, scribbling and shooting, peaking Mike’s interest every time.

For the last part of their training for the day they were paired with their partner to build a toy car which they would race against the other agents.  Somehow this was a lesson in following instructions. As Mulder and Scully got out of their seats Mike picked up the football that was left behind and unwrapped it.  It read: S - bet you haven’t heard this one - A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. “Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed.” Two days later her doorbell rings. “Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won't run away.”

“What makes you think you are great in bed?” the woman retorts. Tim replies, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”

That’s an old one M.  Here’s one from my Catholic school days: Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 15 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 15 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away. At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together." Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean Maria and her first husband, or Maria and her second husband?" The priest replied, "I mean her legs."

S, not bad. This is for your Sunday school - A nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

M, that wasn’t that funny and it might do us good to pay a little attention. How about one for the road. - A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replies, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."

S – I’ll see your condom joke and raise you - A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?" the cashier asks.

"No," the guy says, "she's not that ugly."

Funny.  Last one and we really need to stop! Someone is going to notice! - An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs. The dentist said, “Excuse me, but I’m not a gynecologist.” “I know,” said the old lady. “I want you to take my husband’s teeth out.”

S, I like that one, but do you know the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle someone with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.

M, PAY ATTENTION!

Tim couldn’t believe it.  They were trading dirty jokes. He figured maybe little green men conversations or Mulder’s last psychic reading, but not this.  Maybe Scully wasn’t as tight assed as everyone thought she was.  He decided to ask her out for a drink later.

Once at the front of the classroom, one partner was given the assembly instructions while the other did the actual assembling. Scully holding the directions was becoming quite frustrated.  “No, Mulder, I said to use part 47 with a ¾ inch turn using a 1/16 th . We’re never going to get this thing together if you don’t listen.  You can’t just do whatever you want and ignore me.  Mulder? Mulder!”

“We don’t need instructions Scully.  Sit down.  I’ll hand you some parts.”

“That’s not what we’re supposed to be doing.”

“Here.” He grabbed the instructions from her hand, crumbled them up and tossed them over his shoulder.  Taking a handful of parts he gave them to her. “Follow my lead.”

As all the others entertained conversation, busily instructing the other, Mulder and Scully both sat in silence, exchanging parts and glances, assembling their vehicle.

Agent Tim Addison was barking orders at his partner Agent James Meetze.  Their car was almost fully assembled. He took a break to look over at Mulder and Scully who were now not saying a word to each other passing the car back and forth like a baton in a relay as each placed on a part.  “Jimmy, what are the two of them doing? How could they possibly put it together that way?”

Jimmy looked up and sure enough they were almost completed with whatever they had done.  “I guess UFOs don’t take instructions.  It’s all mind reading.”

Once everyone had their cars assembled they all lined up to send them down the small track that was constructed for the purpose of the exercise.  One by one the agents sent their cars down the track attempting to beat the posted high scores from previous years.  Mulder stepped forward with their car and placed it at the starting line.  Upon the sound of the whistle he released it to have it fly down the ramp passed the others. 

The instructor called the results. “Agent Mulder and Scully came in 1 st place today, 2 nd place in the overall standings.”

Tim looked at Mulder. “Good job, but how did you two assemble that car without speaking to each other?”

“Logic will take you from A to B.  Imagination will take you everywhere.” Mulder answered.

Tim gave him a look of complete confusion and walked away shaking his head as he should have known better than to ask Spooky Mulder a question.

“Einstein Mulder?” Scully quipped as they left the classroom.

“Yup.” Mulder answered with his hands in his pockets and head down walking at a pace that forced Scully to take almost three steps to his one.

“So how did we do that Mulder?”

“I don’t know.  We turned off our minds and tapped into something greater.” He looked her way as if to note her reaction.

“Or maybe we know each other better than we think we do.”

“Ebb and Flow Scully.  You pull and I push.  Constant and predictable.” He answered as he pushed the door open to the street holding it for her.

“And controlled by the moon? Doomed to a hell like Sisyphus?” She smiled smugly as she walked by him pulling him into the street by his jacket squinting at the sun’s rays as they covered them.

“Maybe.  Or maybe the tides only look to the moon for guidance. Maybe the repetition is one of volition.” He countered.

“Mulder, I think I’m catching that virus you were referring to earlier.”

“Scully, Jim was telling me about a jewelry store robbery up the block. Said an employee got their nose smashed in and they cut the manager’s pinky off.”

“Mulder, that sounds rather grotesque.”

“Said when the police caught the robber and threw the cuffs on him they noticed he was wearing a ladies G-string.”

Scully said nothing, not as delighted by the story as Mulder was hoping, but her stomach growled out a reply.  It was then she realized that the apple she had this morning was all that she had eaten all day.

Mulder nodded and answered her stomach. “I’m hungry too. Let’s get a taco.”

###  **Chapter Management**


	8. Snow Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place around the episode "Gender Bender". I find it kind of ironic that Krycek, I mean Michael makes an appearance. Mulder is being haunted by strange dreams and Mulder and Scully take a drive into the heart of Virginia.

Frustrated by the map’s lack of clear guidance, Mulder crumbled it up and kicked it into the air making good use of his skills in the arts of both Soccer and Hacky Sack. Scully, hearing the liftoff, looked up as it fell into her open hands, it too magnetized by their attraction.   They were in the woods looking for a group known as the Kindred to question them as to their relationship to an apparent serial killer.  Luckily, maybe, the Kindred found them and invited them to a most unsettling dinner.  Mulder’s insatiable appetite for the absurd and obscure caused them to return to the barn to spy. Separating, Scully found herself in a compromising position with an alien whose touch was more effective than Aphrodite’s girdle while Mulder was face to face with a hermaphroditic chameleon. Once the coast was clear, Mulder snuck out of the barn to tell Scully of his adventure only to discover she was missing.  Using a connection still in its infancy, Mulder sensed Scully’s distress and was able to locate her swooping in like superman. Scully was out of sorts, but Mulder’s touch overpowered any pheromone attraction and she was able to rid her body of its poison.  Mulder had never known Scully even capable of a compromising position and it surprised him to think she could act like a mere mortal.

As they chased the alien in the rundown apartment and into the alleyway, the beginnings of their true capabilities as a team began to take shape.  Flying on instinct they complimented each other. What looked like a see saw in action; she went down and he took over. When he fell, she went after.  Their push and pull of the tides. Their bond growing in ways they were yet to conceive, but it was there, as they tag teamed, held together by the invisible tether.

As they stood in the field that once contained a spacecraft, Mulder knew before he spoke that Scully would deny it all.  She was terrified of the answers, but it never stopped her from searching.  That in itself gave him a respect for her that warranted the gift of time for acceptance.  Acceptance of that which the mind did not want to believe of which the senses already knew.  Still it didn’t fail to halt his desire to scream:  THEY WERE ALIENS SCULLY!!!

[That night]

Slightly dosing on the couch, Mulder found himself caught in another restless night’s sleep.  His mind never wanting to stop.  It drifted him off to a place where he dared not travel in his waking hours.  Scully was there, in his dreams, dressed in a black nightgown.  Spaghetti straps carelessly clung to her shoulders, her breasts peaking above the lace.  It was as if she had drifted in from the window and now she slithered around him, the silk of the fabric dusting over him sending him into a trance. Her vanilla lavender perfume penetrated his senses, his lungs expanding to take it all in.  An attraction he had never known for her grew from their gaze.  It was terrifying and exciting.  Her body lowered onto him welcoming him inside.  The actuality of it being her wrapped around him made him grow harder seeking pleasure as she nestled him in her soft snug walls.  As she moved he felt her hot and slick against him. It was divine mind numbing bliss. She was a siren and he was helpless.  He moaned her name despite himself, her eyes turning seductive, her muscles gripping around him as she continued her gyrations. It was intense and the sensations built uncontrollably fast. He tried to speak, but words failed him. Her movements increased, unrelenting, sucking him into her again and again never breaking their trance. He felt a familiar tingle followed by a sudden rush of elation he had yet to experience from this lifetime.  He watched as her back arched and her hands covered his chest. As she lifted in an upwards motion, his hips betrayed him and bucked up into her following, pulling him forcefully to climax. He woke drenched in sweat, his body still pulsating, his breath escaping him.  Once he got his bearings, his initial response was one of slight embarrassment even though she had no way of ever knowing.  He hadn’t had a dream like that since he was 16 years old, but he had a suspicion what had caused it.  When the Kindred man was putting his spell on Scully, Mulder had touched her to drag her away.  Somehow this must have been some of the after effects.  He assumed she would be having a similar experience.

Meanwhile in a bed not so far away….

Scully was in a deep sleep gently snoring.  It was a peaceful slumber and when she woke she felt refreshed not able to recall any of her dreams.  Looking at the time she had an extra moment of glee realizing she had time to stop for breakfast and coffee before heading into work.  When she got to her car she paused and inhaled, taking in the fresh brisk morning air.  Today was beginning to look like a good day.

*************************************** 

“What are we doing out here Mulder?”  They had been driving for over an hour heading west from D.C. towards West Virginia.  The snow had been steady flurries the whole way and she didn’t want to get stuck at a motel for the night.  The radio station was set to a fifties oldies station and they were on their second encore of “The Wanderer”.

“I spoke with The Center for UFO studies and cross referenced them with MUFON and the path of the sightings is leading us to believe that the next location for possible visibility is in this area.”

“And how is this FBI related?”

“It’s not.  You didn’t want to go for a drive?”

“Mulder, I would like to make it back to my own bed tonight.  The weather report said the snow isn’t expected to let up. Besides, how will we see anything through all this cloud cover?”

A loud boom sounded and Scully ducked instinctively, thinking they were being shot at. Another loud bang reverberated through the car.  Mulder held the steering wheel tight as the car pulled back and veered left. The bang was followed by a whoosh then a flapping sound of rubber hitting pavement.  The car slowed to a halt as Mulder steered it onto the grass.

“Great.” Scully pouted as she stepped out of the car slamming the door. 

Mulder got out to witness the flat tire.  Without a word he opened the trunk and took out everything he would need to change it.  Luckily it was still mid-afternoon and the snow seemed to have let up.  Even luckier they were driving a Chevy Impala rental which came with a full size spare tire instead of a donut. Scully watched as Mulder rolled up the sleeves of his off white button down shirt, loosened the lug nuts and hoisted the car in the air with the jack. The wheel did not come off as easily as expected.  He pulled and tugged digging in his heels, but the tire wouldn’t move.  With both hands he pulled so hard his heels lost their grip on the ice and he slid onto his butt into the snow.  That produced a smile on Scully’s face.

“Do you need help Mulder?”

“The wheel doesn’t want to budge.  I might need a rock or something, but if you want to try, be my guest.”

Scully turned her back to the wheel and kicked backwards with her heel, hitting the edge of the wheel and tire solidly.  Luckily she was wearing square heeled boots today and not pumps.

“Good try, but it didn’t move Scully.  We need some help.”

Scully lifted her index finger at Mulder giving him pause. Rotating the wheel 180 degrees, she gave it another swift heel kick at the opposite edge.  The wheel clanked and rocked on its bolts. Scully smiled dusting off her hands and placing them on her hips proud of herself. Bending down she removed the tire and put on the spare.  She lowered the jack back down and started applying the lug nuts.  “It was stuck to the rotor plate Mulder that’s why you couldn’t get it off.  When my father taught me how to drive, he wouldn’t let me get behind the wheel until he made sure I knew how to change a tire.”  She looked up and Mulder wasn’t there.  “Mulder?  Mulder?”

Getting up and brushing her pants she looked around, but he was nowhere.  This was infuriating. They needed to get the tire fixed and head home.  Sounds of laughter and children screaming were lightly heard in the background.  She followed the sound and found Mulder watching them in amusement.

“Mulder?”  He didn’t respond or even recognize her presence.

“Mulder, we need to get back on the road. It’s going to get late…”

“Have you ever been traying Scully?”

“I’ve been sledding.”

“In college, we use to borrow trays from the cafeterias and use them to sled down the hills when it snowed.  I’m going down.”  He started walking towards the hills and the kids.

“Mulder” She sighed begrudgingly and followed him into the snow. 

On the way down they crossed a road and he grabbed the top of a rubber garbage can.  “I believe that’s theft Mulder.”

“Not if you return it.”  They walked up to the top of the hill.  Mulder’s shoes and pants were visibly soaked in snow, but it didn’t seem to slow him down. 

“Mulder. No.” She warned.

“Come on Scully.  There’s only one way to the bottom.” He said holding the garbage can lid in front of him calculating angles and velocity.

She was not thrilled about the thought of sitting on top of him careening down a hill. What she wanted was to be alone in front of her fireplace warm and quiet.  Right now she was cold, wet, and surrounded by screaming kids.

Giving him a warning look she reluctantly sat down on the lid.  He pushed her from behind with a running start, jumping on, going with the momentum as they started down the hill, wrapping his long legs around her. His hands covered hers as they held onto the handles.  Scully wanted to scream, but wasn’t giving him the satisfaction.  She laughed in spite of herself.  Given their combined weight they were moving at a quick pace bouncing over tiny snow covered rocks and moguls.  They were reaching the bottom of the hill and Mulder leaned in spinning them so they could stop without falling.  The momentum made her tumble and Mulder slipped underneath to keep her from touching the ground.  His body was lean and hard, but warm in a familiar way that made her feel like she was leaning on a favorite chair.  The heat of his body felt comforting against the cold snowy air.  Unknowingly she had closed her eyes and was breathing in his cologne.  She got up quickly before he could notice.

“Go again?”  He was like a child with eyes filled with excitement and wonder. 

“Okay, but this time let me steer.”

“As you wish Special Agent Scully.” He guided the way with an outstretched arm and an exposed palm.

They slid down the hill a few more times until they were tired and the sun was setting.  Scully realized she hadn’t laughed that much since she was little.  In fact the whole experience brought her back to childhood and Mulder was like an old friend sharing the memories.

“Mulder, what time is it?”

“Too late to head home.”

She didn’t understand what he meant by that, but she knew he had more on the agenda by his evasiveness. “Mulder, what are we doing?”

“Follow me.” He grabbed her hand and led her a couple blocks into town.  People were gathering around.  There was a band and a banner.  It was the town’s 100 th anniversary and they were going to light fireworks.  He sat them down on a curb to wait for the show in the sky.  Scully shivered still wet from their excursion.  Mulder took off his suit jacket underneath his coat and draped it over her rubbing her shoulders.

“Thank you” she said pulling the lapels in to cover her. Everyone looked very happy scurrying around.  They also looked like they were dressed in costumes.  Their clothes looked almost homemade with a wool texture. Some people were harmonizing on the corner as if they were in a barbershop quartet.  Others were passing out candles.  There were white lights on all the trees along the street.  The square was lit up where the musicians played some old 40’s big band music and people were dancing.

A thought occurred to her. “Mulder, you planned this.”

“I didn’t plan for our tire to blow, but I heard about the celebration on the oldies station while we were driving.  I know it’s been hard for you with your dad gone.  I thought maybe we could do something to get your mind off of things for a while.”

He got up and disappeared in the crowd returning with two hot chocolates and two hot dogs.  They sat on the curb and shared a smile with their food. His jacket had remnants of his glow inside it keeping her toasty, his fragrance lulling her into security. The sky turned dark as the lights went out and the light show began. “Thank you Mulder. You’re a good friend.” She said warming her hands with her hot chocolate taking a sip, the fireworks lighting up the sky with color.

“I know.” He smiled back at her and she gave him a playful push on his arm. “What?” He laughed back.

When the fireworks were over they headed back to the car and got in. 

“Well, we can head back or wait for the next show.” Mulder proposed. 

“You really think you’ll see aircraft tonight?”

“Couldn’t hurt to wait a little longer.” He started the car and put the heat on.

Scully woke some hours later to a spectacle.  She shook Mulder’s arm to wake him and draw his attention skyward.  There among the trees lights danced and twinkled in the night’s sky.  “Mulder what is that?”

“I don’t know, but it’s quite a sight.  Maybe it’s more Kindred returning to their home planet.” Mulder got out of the car to get a better look leaving the door open.

Scully gave him a doubting look from her passenger seat.  “It’s just as likely to be northern lights.”

“In Virginia? Come ‘on Scully.”

“What about atmospheric pollution?”

Mulder ignored her getting back in the car.  They watched the lights die down and drifted back to sleep until the sun woke Mulder.  Scully didn’t wake until he pulled the car away from the curb. She stared at the determined man next to her.  He was as driven to convince her as he was to find the truth.  She felt bad in a way not being able to concede the way he needed. Yet they were on this road together. Watching the snow blanket the countryside. Mulder reached over turning the oldies back on and started singing along with Elvis to Suspicious Minds, pounding the beat on the steering wheel.  He was successful in his mission.  She hadn’t gotten depressed about her father or worried about her mother all day yesterday. 

“Scully, I’m going to stop back in town for some gas. We have less than a quarter tank left.” 

As the car rolled down Main Street the radio crackled turning Mulder’s oldies station to static. Scully stared out the window.  The town looked deserted and dirtier, run down compared to last night. It looked like they had taken the banner down already and the whole street was in dire need of a paint job. An eerie quiet filled the air. He pulled into the gas station and there was no one there.  The lights were out and the shelves were empty inside the little store.  The price of the gas shown 59 cents a gallon.  Mulder got back into the car.

“What’s going on Mulder?”

“I’m not sure.  There’s no one here. We’ll have to get gas in the next town.”

“That’s impossible, we were just here.”

“Look around Scully. The place is a ghost town.”

Town Hall now showed a sign that said Opera House.  Where the library stood now looked like it was turned into a bar before it had been abandoned. A “For lease” sign stuck to the window. In fact all the stores looked abandoned and empty.  There wasn’t a car or person in sight. For a minute Scully was afraid she had slept through the apocalypse.

In the next town they pulled into an open gas station and was able to speak to the attendant.  Mulder shared their story when they returned from pumping gas to pay the clerk.

“That town hasn’t been inhabited since the 50s.” The attendant said dressed in overalls with a toothpick sitting between his teeth. “It was deserted after it went bankrupt shortly after WWII.” 

“But there was a banner.” Scully interrupted in disbelief.  “It was their 100 th anniversary of the town.  There was a band, fireworks…”

“Now that part would be right.  That town was founded in 1894, but there were no fireworks in the area last night. Are you sure you didn’t get a hold of some wild mushrooms or something?”

“Thanks for the information.”  Mulder said placing a bag of sunflower seeds on the counter.

He rung it up with the gas.  “That’ll be $16.37.” 

Mulder handed him the cash and counted out the change.  “Thanks.”

As they walked out Scully looked up at Mulder for answers.

“But Mulder, those people, the fireworks… They were there Mulder. You don’t think they were like the Kindreds..”

“No, not this time Scully.  I think those were spirits, souls returning for their centennial celebration.”

“And the lights in the sky…”

“They weren’t from spaceships Scully….”

They drove back to D.C., Scully being the first to break the silence.

“Mulder, I was asked to assist in a suspected bank heist.”

“Doesn’t sound like much of an x-file.”

“It’s not.  I’ll be working with Agent Jack Willis. It was by his request.”

“Is that so.  Well, you know where to find me if you need assistance. Be careful. I don’t want to have to go to jail for killing the man that hurt my partner.”

Mulder’s jaw clenched and he straightened his posture in his seat, but didn’t look her way.  Scully could tell it bothered him that she would be with another Agent.  He was as possessive of her as she with him.  They didn’t like when someone else intruded on their personal space.  Other people were an annoying background noise to them.  An ant or fly at their picnic.  Others’ presence only made more obvious the all-consuming intensity of their relationship.  A part of her wanted to tell him that her and Jack had been a couple.  See his reaction to Dana’s life before he called her Scully.

“That was something back there wasn’t it?” Mulder asked changing the subject.

“Only with you Mulder.  Sometimes I believe these things don’t happen to anyone else.  Only when I’m with you.”

“I take that as a compliment.”

“You should.”

###  **Chapter Management**


	9. An Old Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Lazarus" is the episode of this chapter. We get a glimpse of Scully's past and her attraction to older men in power. She also licks her lips at the sight of the handcuffs. Hmmm. Anyway, it's an "I'm a doctor" episode which is always good. In the beginning when Dupre yells "Get down on the floor or I'll execute every one of you!" it reminds me of Pulp Fiction every time.

Special Agent Dr. Dana Scully brought back her old flame from the dead, but what reignited was the soul of Dupre, an armed robber and killer.  Mulder was eager to hear that his partner had returned unscathed and even happier when he saw her in the forensics lab.  Gliding around her they resumed their dance of the unexplained, cloaking her with his body, a smooth ballroom foxtrot. They didn’t deal in words, so to get her attention his fingertips nudged the small of her back. The charge awakening her body, never startled, a welcoming fluid motion of response. Their minds joining as one, she felt annoyed when he dislodged to read the fact sheet.

That night as Jack Willis paid Tommy, Lula’s brother, a visit, Mulder’s dreams continued to torture him.  This time they were in the dive bar Scully spoke of.  It was a dimly lit smoky room filled with undesirables and despair, but when she walked in all eyes gravitated her way.  A strapless blue dress clung to her body.  Red lipstick matched her hair and the fire in her eyes. Their eyes fastened together and he froze.  Her hips and stilettos leading the way as she closed the distance between them.  It wasn’t until she was close enough for him to taste their magnetism that he released a high pitched moan. Her manicured finger coated in apple red pressed against his lips to silence him.  “It’s my birthday” was her only remark. In one motion he picked her up, spun her around and lifted her onto the pool table.  Her legs wrapped around him and he tilted her hips, freeing himself he entered inside and she let out a sharp gasp.  Their eyes transfixed on the other as they moved, the patrons disappearing, it was only them.  His muscles distended as he tried to withstand the amount of pleasure coursing through him.  Her acceptance of him all consuming.  The pool table failed to support the abuse it was receiving and a leg jarred as the table rocked. “Now Scully that is how you slant a pool table” He proposed smugly, “and how you have a Happy Birthday.” He closed his eyes to kiss her, but the phone rang waking him and he answered. “Mulder.”

“Mulder, it’s me.  I need you to meet me at the Desmond Arms Resident Hotel.  There’s been a shooting and our presence has been requested.”

“I’ll meet you down there.”

He hung up the phone and leaned back into the couch, his hands in his hair.  What was going on with his dreams and what did they mean?  He wanted to tell Scully about them and ask her if she was affected, but it wasn’t a subject you could easily bring into a discussion.   How do you ask someone, hey after you almost did the horizontal hoochie coochie with that spaceman, did you start having erotic dreams about me? He couldn’t say anything. It wasn’t like he was going to act on it anyway.  He figured it would wear off.  Scully was too special to him to succumb to mere lust.  That was short lived.  What he had with her was real, but still potentially fragile.  To ruin it with romantic intimacy would be demeaning to their friendship, something he held as dear to him as the x-files themselves. Any romantic involvement with him was doomed to failure by its very nature. When you throw in all the complexities that would arise, their endearing disagreements would turn into all out battles resulting in the inevitable division and fight over who gets to keep the slide projector.  No, platonic was the only road to go down and he programmed his mind to do just that.  But first, he had to get rid of the aching affliction currently tenting his Knicks shorts and he did so with the hot spray of the shower beating against his back as he ventured one final time into the graphic imagery of his dream.

*

Mulder was worried.  After they had returned to the office, Scully hadn’t spoken to him which was unusual considering she usually said goodnight before she left for the day.  Calling her cell phone did no good as it went to voicemail.  That night he drove to her apartment, but didn’t see her car parked anywhere and she wasn’t answering her house phone.  When he went back to the office her car was still parked in the garage.  He called Agent Ruskin for the second time that night, but he said he really didn’t see a cause for alarm yet.  Mulder didn’t get much sleep and as soon as the sun rose, he tracked down Ruskin to go looking for her.  He could feel it in his chest that something was wrong.  After 12 hours Agent Ruskin was concerned as well and even questioned Mulder if he was playing off an x-file theory.  Mulder wasn’t about to waste precious time they could be tracking down Scully with a skeptic. When Mulder got the call and Scully was put on the phone, he called her Dana to emphasize his concern.  Going through Willis’ field notes Mulder was unrelenting. He must find Scully and not even sleep would get in his way. Mulder and Scully’s brains still beat on the same wavelength even though miles were currently separating them, even with their differentiating paths of how and why.  Willis needed insulin and Mulder traced out the radius as they robbed the pharmacy. Finally he hit a breakthrough as they heard an aircraft in the background.   “For those of you that don’t know already, this ones important to me so let’s do it right” Mulder said not even attempting to hide his feelings.  When Scully was in danger, all bets were off.  There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do, any length he wouldn’t go, and no person, place, or thing, he would let stand in his way. He held her in reverence, a pact they never discussed, yet both honored. To give their life for the other and killing those that attempted to take away that which they valued above all else, their treasured indestructible friendship.

***********************

“What am I supposed to tell myself?” She was speaking rhetorically referring to Jack’s body being possessed with another soul, but it hit Mulder hard.  This time he took offense.  The evidence was overwhelming and it played out in front of her eyes.  He didn’t want to take it personally, but he did.  They were so close yet miles apart in their willingness for acceptance.  That wasn’t it.  It hurt him that she didn’t believe him. The one person in the world he wanted to believe.

“Goodnight” Mulder said. He didn’t want to waste more time.  She acted like all the others in the bureau and he would have to face facts that whatever the connection, she wasn’t willing to see it through his eyes.  A pain shot through his system as he bathed in negativity.

The watched had stopped at the exact time jack went into cardiac arrest.

“What does that mean?” She asked already knowing the answer he would give.

“It means whatever you want it to mean…. Goodnight.”  Why should he answer her? She knows what he would say and he wasn’t going to fight with her today.  They had been through enough.

Not in the mood for food out of a box, Mulder stopped in a diner for a burger.  A young woman in a booth across the way tried to grab his attention as she took in his pleasant exterior. The waitress put a little extra in her smile as she refilled his glass, but Mulder was too busy staring out the window to notice any of it.  That familiar feeling creeped around his chest and into his back.  Darkness running through his veins.  He took another bite of the juicy burger, taking notice that the lettuce was crunchy the way he liked it with the mayo on the same side as the tomato with just a perfect amount of ketchup.  The heat from it warmed his frigid insides.   In her innocence, Scully had hurt him.  She didn’t believe him and from his dreams he realized that he had let her get too close.  As much as he wanted it to be different, he was alone in his pursuits and beliefs.  Finished with his meal he paid the check and headed out.  The waitress lost her smile when she saw his tip. Her fondness for him dissipating along with her attitude.

Mulder reached for his stack of video tapes.  Like a cigarette or a good scotch his tapes gave him pleasure and took him away from the darkness.  They made the pain stop.  Even his perversions were tied to his alleged psychosis. Thinking twice, instead of picking up a cassette, he changed the bulb in his desk lamp and pointed it towards the street.  In anticipation he tossed his basketball around.   When two hours passed without the familiar double click on his phone he decided that all was lost and went for a run.  Why was it that he always felt trapped in a Twilight Zone episode where he was the only one that saw the truth?  Why had the whole world chosen the blue pill but him?  He came to an abrupt halt nearly tripping over himself as he saw Deep Throat casually walking in the opposite direction.  He turned and jogged the other way.  “You got my message”

“You needed to see me about something?  I suspect this is serious?”

“No, I shouldn’t have contacted you.  I…I needed to speak with someone today that had a like mind.  Someone who wasn’t going to give me that look wondering how I ever escaped from the asylum.”

Deep Throat laughed.  “Ah yes.  One of the several crosses you carry for knowing there is more than meets the eye.  It is quite lonely from our point of view.”

“How do you get through the times when nobody sees the 3-D image through the patterns?”

“You have to find balance.  Balance between the arrogance of knowing you see what others cannot and responsibility for of what to do with that knowledge.  You cannot absorb yourself to the point of insanity or you will start to question the very fabric of your being.   Remain steadfast in your pursuits and your beliefs.  You cannot persuade them all, but some will follow.  Remember, even the ones that know what you know or even more, will fall back on plausible deniability.  I admire you Mulder for your pursuits, but it takes time to get people to where you are.  Patience.  And Mulder… you are far from alone.”

Mulder put his head down.  With all Deep Throat did for him, he shouldn’t have asked him to be his psychiatrist too. “Thank you.  For meeting me, for listening.  It helped.  Honestly.”

“Don’t forget.  Heed those that protest too much for they may not be showing their full hand.”

Mulder nodded jogging in place.

“Good night Mulder.  I hope I helped.  And try to get some sleep.”

“Night.” Mulder smiled back and continued his jog.

Mulder jogged back to his apartment reviewing all that Deep Throat had said.  He opened his apartment door and as he reached for the light a voice came out of the dark.

“It got late so I let myself in.”

It was Scully.  Just when he was feeling better about himself. He turned the light on and threw his keys on the table, walking towards her, standing as he loomed his shadow over her. “That’s okay, I just went out for a run.”

“I don’t mean to intrude..”

“It’s no problem, I just didn’t know we were ready to get so personal..”

“I’m Sorry” Scully said fidgeting with her hands.

“It’s just that it’s pretty late and you’re in my bed…..” Mulder replied scratching the back of his neck and squinting at her.

She looked baffled for a minute and then realized he was referring to the couch she was currently sitting on.   The insinuation caught her off guard and made her blush.  He was still hurt, but they were talking so it was a start.

“I know you think I doubt you, but I don’t” Scully said.

“Scully” He turned away and took off his shirt walking towards the bathroom.

“I doubt myself.” She interrupted swallowing hard at the sight of his now familiar back muscles. “If there’s no science behind anything, then what do I have?”

He stopped at the doorframe to what should be his bedroom and turned to look at her annoyed.  Deep Throat had made him feel better about himself, but he wasn’t in the mood to go ten rounds with Scully. “Yeah. Is this why you came because it’s late and…”

“I have you Mulder…”She looked at him earnestly trying desperately for him to understand.  “…I have you to push me after I have exhausted all my avenues.  You are the one that pushes us farther into areas that defy typical explanations. Without both sides the cases don’t get put to rest.”

Mulder had a grip on the doorframe rubbing it with his thumb.  She wasn’t getting out of this that easy. She picked the wrong night. “So what good does it do when you don’t believe me Scully?  After a while, how do I not take it personal?  I can take being an outcast from them, but not from you.” He wasn’t even able to look her in the eye with the last sentence.

“That’s my process Mulder, it doesn’t mean I don’t believe in you.” Scully rose from the couch and stepped towards him.

He turned squarely at her and looked into her eyes. “Then say it.”

“Say what?”

“Say it.” He spoke the last words softly and leaned in slanting his head until he was only inches from her face as if he was leaning in for a kiss. 

Scully turned away reclaiming her personal space and then turned back. “You could have been right.  That at the very least, it wasn’t just Jack inhabiting Jack’s body.” Not comfortable with the distance she reached out her arm and rubbed his. “Mulder, are you okay.”

“Yeah. I’ll take it.  For now.  Baby steps.” He replied nodding his head.

“Goodnight Mulder.” Scully said as she headed towards the door.

“Goodnight….oh and Scully?”

She stopped at the sound of her name not looking his way. “Yes Mulder?”

“Thank you.”

She gave him a nod and continued walking as she silently left the room.

Mulder watched her walk out of the apartment and smiled tossing his shirt over his shoulder resuming his trek towards a nice hot shower.


	10. Fountain of Youth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place around the time of the episode "Young at Heart". It is dedicated to Mulder's "I've fallen and I can't get up" phase.

The capillaries under Mulder’s fingernails were stone white, his fingertips a light shade of purple as he gripped the granite ledge.  It was at least a 200 foot drop to the street below. His forearms were screaming and so was Scully.  “Mulder, grab my hand!” Easier said than done he thought to himself.  In order to grab her hand he had to let go of the ledge.  Doing quick math he calculated 6 milliseconds that only  two inches of the four fingers of his right hand would have to support all 172 lbs. of his six foot skeleton.  Even if he was able to do all that there was no guarantee Scully could pull him up. “Scully, if I don’t make it I want you to have all my Knicks memorabilia and adopt my fish.”  

“Mulder, I’m going to get you out of here now grab my hand!”  Bullets grazed Scully’s hair as shots were fired from below.  There was an explosion some floors down.  They had to leave now.  Somehow she had set these dominos in motion.  All this because of a wedding invitation. Scully watched Mulder move as if in slow motion.  His eyes closed and he took a  deep breath swinging his body forward. His left hand leaving the edge reaching out for hers.  She leaned forward as far as she could go, her hand sliding along his arm. The jolt of his body weight as her hand locked onto his wrist propelled her forward. Another explosion rocked the building and Scully lost her balance……

14 days ago...  

Scully flipped through her mail as she opened the door to her apartment returning from her workout.  She paused when she saw her name in calligraphy on the outside of the envelope.  Her stomach churned.  Slowly she opened the envelope and looked inside.  There enclosed with the wedding invitation was the RSVP envelope with the attached paper containing the dreaded square.  That square asking if you are taking a plus one.  Scully let out a hopeless sigh. When she was at work everything was fine.  Her mind was fulfilled, her spirits were up and she felt powerful.  It was only when she was exposed to family and friends that her life showed its cracks.  Her friends were focused on having kids and getting married. Conversations began to become strained around them and she already noticed that she was invited less and less to couples outings. She never thought about whether it bothered her or not.  Then there were weddings, holidays, and birthday parties for the kids.  Those were the only times she had to acknowledge the complete absence of a plus one.  What was really keeping her from a meaningful relationship? Why when she entered into a good relationship did she always look for holes and flaws? Why did her mind pick at it until issues that were nothing but tiny pinholes were now gaping?  She would use those issues as her excuse for the relationship’s demise, but in the end, it would be her, alone.  Doomed to walk the earth attending weddings and other fanciful occasions sin a plus one.

Scully placed the mail on her end table behind her couch.  There would be plenty of time for her to respond later.  Suddenly in a mellow mood she lit some candles, put on soft music, and prepared a bath. Removing her clothing she lowered herself in slowly allowing the heat of the water to heal her aching muscles.  She let the soap bubbles surround her.  The water passed through her fingers, her body longing for its renewing powers.  The promise of a rebirth of muscles and joints, of her life.  There was a thought that she could leave this tub and begin whatever life she wanted.  It all started again when she left the tub. Unfortunately, her previous thoughts were still nagging at her.  What a different turn her life had made.  She recalled all those years ago sitting on her parent’s porch with Melissa.  Daniel had asked her to be with him.  She had loved him, but there was something else driving her.  There was an itch inside her she didn’t know how to scratch and everyday that rash grew until it reached a fever pitch.  She had looked Melissa in the eye and told her that she had just been offered everything.  Her whole life would be a perfect Rockwell painting.  She could have the great professor/doctor with the two and a half kids, a dog and the white picket fence.  All layed out before her like a road map with a booming career as a doctor.  Looking for answers, she shared with Melissa her yearnings for something she was yet to know.  Melissa was supportive and said she had to follow her heart.  Perhaps there was something out there calling to her. Some trail she needed to discover, events in her life that she had to endure in order for her spirit to evolve and only then could she know she was where she needed to be. Whether Melissa was right or she was simply running from a fate already lived before it began, she followed the voice and left it all for the FBI and the road not taken.  Now, as others went on vacation, she traveled for work. Others raised kids, she promised herself hobbies she never took part in, groups she never joined, and eventually parties she avoided.  Now there was this wedding.  For anyone else it was a night out and an afterthought.  For her it was a painful reminder of her avoidances.  Was there something fundamentally wrong?  Did she want what everyone else wanted or was that a lie she told herself to carry on a reality she wasn’t prepared to face? Scully took a breath and allowed herself to be completely immersed in the water of the bath tub.  When she came up for air she stepped from the tub wrapping a pristine white towel around her body.  She got dressed into her beige silk pajamas and headed for her computer to do some work.

Ten days ago in Scully’s apartment….

Mulder absorbed the aromas of the room. The pou pourri fragrance hinted of lemongrass, grapefruit, and coriander blossom complemented but not overpowered by the omnipresent odor of the tomato sauce simmering on the stove. A bouquet as complex and sophisticated as the woman who occupied the apartment. Today marked the first time he was there for casual non-work related reasons.  She had mentioned her desire to practice her culinary skills with a spaghetti and meatball creation.  A meal too extravagant for a single individual, she had invited him over to assist in its consumption. “You need any help in there Scully?” He asked from the couch drumming a beat with his fingertips on the book resting on the coffee table.

“I’ve got it handled, but thanks for asking.” Scully smiled peeking over at him from the kitchen. Was it wrong for her to play the witch? To lure Hansel to her house with promising cuisine and once trapped in her web from a food coma ask him to be an accomplice of devious deception at a reception? Was it entirely her fault he was the only person she knew of the male persuasion that wouldn’t expect anything afterwards?

When he asked if he could bring anything, he was relieved when she had told him no. A connoisseur of wine and desserts he was not.  As he tried to relax, shifting his weight from one leg to the other, he took notice that the stripes on the couch were bright and welcoming. Yet he felt uncomfortable with fear of sullying the perfection.  Knick Knacks covered the tables and shelves.  For a woman who worked 16 hours a day, there wasn’t a spec of dirt or dust.  The kitchen as clean as the rest of the house.  The apartment bright and airy.  All of it contrasted to Mulder’s dark and drab with dirt and clutter abound.  The whole scenario made him feel slightly out of his element.

Dinner tasted divine.  Candles lit the table which he assumed was out of habit rather than ambiance.  It’s reflective glow highlighting her cheekbones.  Her lips were moving, but he was slightly distracted by the tight t-shirt currently clinging to her curves. It was slightly disconcerting to see her in civilian clothing. “This is really good.” He managed to get out as he twirled a fork full of spaghetti and shoved it passed his lips.  His heart was beating faster than the situation called for. He was trying not to notice her lips surrounding the meatball at the end of her fork as she slowly bit down, her tongue waiting in anticipation in the backdrop.  What was he doing? This was Scully, not someone he picked up in a bar and certainly not someone he should be uncomfortable around. He had to get his head straight. This was an innocent dinner between friends. Suddenly parched his palms shaking and sweaty, he reached out and  nervously knocked over his glass spilling the soda inside over the freshly ironed white tablecloth.  “Sorry.” Fell out of his mouth as he clamored for a napkin scurrying to mop up the mess. “My hands don’t seem to be working today.”

“No big deal Mulder.  It’s nothing that can’t be cleaned..”  She said passing him a curious look and got up to grab a dish towel. As she did the contours of her upper thigh came into Mulder’s field of vision and he admonished himself as he committed it to memory.  Perspiration covered his forehead.  What was wrong with him tonight? Maybe it was the thought of the two of them alone without having work to fall back on and a bed less than fifty feet away.  Mulder was not prepared for Scully the woman before him. This was not his contrary partner barking concerns and science. This was a sweet beautiful person who cooked delicious food and whose smile could be considered a superpower.  Distracted, he picked up their empty dishes to bring them to the sink and clumsily tripped over the leg of the table. Tomato sauce and dinner plates crashed against Scully’s snowy white cabinets.

“Mulder, are you alright?” Scully exclaimed, trying to pull him up.  He waved his hand away already on one knee. “I’m fine. Only my ego is bruised” he replied.  The following 20 minutes found them both on their knees scrubbing the bright red residue off of her cabinets.  Mulder felt terrible.

Finally they retreated to the couch.  Scully brought over a glass of water and handed it to him with a smile.  “It’s okay, water doesn’t stain.”

“Thanks.” He replied as he took the glass begrudgingly.  

Mulder was acting like a boy on his first date meeting her parents. If he acted like this simply coming over for dinner how would she ever get him to go with her to a wedding?  Maybe this wasn’t a good road to go down with him. Using your partner for an escort could yield bad results. Sitting down next to him Scully decided to ask him an ice breaker to relax the tension. “Mulder, how far did you get on the new lead? Did they have information about your sister?”

“No. It was a dead end.  The woman was returned and is in her late twenties living in Nebraska married with two kids. I want to believe she’s still out there Scully somewhere... alive.” He physically relaxed, leaning his right ankle on his left knee. His arms draped over the top of the couch.  She didn’t know his expectations, but he seemed relieved at the mood shift. He continued. “Whomever or whatever took her could have her anywhere.   She could be on another planet or locked in some secret military facility. So, where do you start?  I think I’ve shown you enough evidence to prove that the government is aware of these abductions.  That these aliens… He looked up at Scully’s doubting eyebrows… or whoever are performing these abductions for some kind of tests. Which means there’s an endgame here we have yet to uncover.”

“But Mulder, besides your hypnotic regression, do you have any hard proof of any of this?”

Mulder rolled his eyes along with his head. “Listen Scully, you asked about my sister not about a case.  I don’t need anything, but instinct and observation.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…” She didn’t want them to backslide.  The whole purpose of the night was to get to know each other outside of work so she could gather the courage to pop the question.  Less Mulder and Scully and more Fox and Dana. She tried to push reason and logic aside for the moment to ride along his path.  “Do you believe she’s being held in a military facility?”

“I really don’t know.  I follow the leads, keep pulling the string and hope it leads me to her.” Mulder leaned forward.  “Scully, what if she’s alive? Scared or in pain?.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “At work anybody can go into my files, so I try to keep two separate files concerning my sister.  One at work and the other at my place.”    

“Mulder, maybe I can help you. Something we might work on.. Outside of bureaucratic lines.”

Mulder sat back on the couch again.  His thumbs massaging his eyebrows. “Scully, I don’t know if I want to drag you into this… I told you there are certain risks going down a road that says “Do Not Enter” courtesy of the US government” Mulder was silent for a couple minutes and then jumped up, excited.  “Or maybe you’re onto something.  I’ve been investigating this in the shadows.  We need a war room board where we can keep notes... but something we can fold away so it didn’t take up that much room...”

In three steps Mulder was at the door putting on his coat. Mulder put a hand on Scully’s shoulder and slouched to look directly into her eyes.  “I’m going to think really hard about your offer. Thank you for dinner everything was delicious.”

Scully was just about able to stutter out the beginning syllables of his name and he was gone.  How did the night go from inviting him to witness two people exchange vows to volunteering for an alien scavenger hunt?  Why did she bring up his sister?  But she already had the answer. Her demons enjoyed wrestling with his monsters.

Seven days ago…..

Mulder was so wrapped up in catching Barnett that it wasn’t until he saw them strapping the bullet proof vest on Scully that he realized what he had done.  She had agreed without hesitation, but he wasn’t about to lose his partner.  Not after sentencing his former partner to death. Knowing it was part of her job, he treated her like she was any other member of the FBI. He wished he was the one putting his life on the line in her place. After all, in a way, she was doing it for him.

Scully looked across the lobby of the crowded concert hall and there he stood, his eyes dark as night with a pressed suit to match.  She was nervous, the bullet proof vest weighing heavy on her shoulders, but a head nod and a wink from him and all the butterflies flew away. The corners of her mouth raised to let him know he had succeeded in pacifying her nerves.  

The bullet penetrated eight layers of kevlar.  Scully was lucky to be alive.  He made a promise to himself he would never put her in a situation like that again.  Hoping Scully learned something about their precious government, he stood by her as she watched them interrogate the dying Barnett for research they tried to buy.  Their own government ignoring their own book of rules.  Lives sacrificed at the hand of Barnett only solidified to Mulder that the rules would never apply to him again.  He carried his own moral compass to lead his way.

********

2  hours ago….

They were in the forensics lab in Quantico.  Scully was elbow deep digging out the intestines of a man who looked like he had been used for the live version of the game operation.   “It’s really nothing Mulder.”

“It’s enough to keep that frown on your face.” Mulder said looming behind her.

“I’m fine.” She said weighing the liver.  Blood lightly splattered on her lab coat as it hit the scale. This was not a subject she could discuss with him. In his mind his life was already set.  He was exactly where he wanted to be doing exactly what he wanted to be doing.  She felt his brain analyzing and it was putting her on edge.

“What’s today’s date?” He asked feigning innocence.

“The 17th.  Why?” She wrote the weight down in her lab notes.

“No, that’s not it.” Mulder said out loud to himself.

“What?!”

“What? What! You were saying?” Mulder stammered choking back a smile.

“I wasn’t…” Scully, giving him the dirtiest of looks, removed the heart and placed it on the scale. Her face relaxed. “I’ll get over it soon.  It’s something I do, something I go through every year in January.  I take stock of my life, review what I’ve done.  With my birthday the following month it’s a swift reminder of the time passing.”

“And the Barnett case was a reminder of that?  Getting older?” He put his arm around her giving her shoulder a squeeze.  “Hey, we’re all in that boat together.”

“It’s not the getting older, it’s….” She ducked under his arm and began slicing open the stomach to note its contents. “Forget it.  I’m sorry I brought it up.”

“No, I want to know.”

She looked up into his eyes. “It’s not like my life is terrible, but it’s not like it’s going to win an Oscar for best picture either.”

“I don’t know Scully, we have a lot of pretty entertaining experiences.”

“That’s work Mulder.  I’m very satisfied with my career choices so far…” She removed pieces of unchewed beef mixed with undigested carrots and what she hoped was mashed potatoes from the stomach. “...for the most part. I’m referring to my personal life.” Scully began the incisions to look for metal fragments.

“Did something happen? This is about more than Barnett and the fountain of youth.”

“No, I told you, it’s about what I’ve left to accomplish.” She removed the small metal fragments at the exact location of the body they believed them to be.

“Something must have happened.”

“If you must know, I have to go to  my friend’s wedding… “ She said with a sigh. Scully stopped what she was doing and placed the scalpel down leaning both hands on the table supporting her weight “..alone.  It’s just something else I…”

“Scully, It’s not that I wouldn’t want to go with you, but  I’m really not the guy to go to a wedding.  I never know which fork to use, I can’t dance, and I’ll probably spill red wine on the bride’s wedding dress.”

“I wasn’t asking you Mulder.  You interrogated me and I told you.” Finally, it was over. The thought was a silly one anyway. It was for the best.

“Scully, it was a mistake!”

“Mulder, I told you I didn’t ask.. “

“..no, no.  I mean him.  I think something went wrong when he was abducted and that was why he was returned. What if that’s what happened to my sister? What if something went horribly wrong?”

“Mulder we don’t know that.”

“I think that building where we found this body is where they were disposing of the evidence. I have to get into that building.”

“We Mulder. I’m going with you.”

TO BE CONTINUED . . .


	11. A Lie Between Two Truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you read the last chapter and was completely confused, this next chapter should aid in clearing it all up. Or maybe not. Think of it as a jumbled Quentin Tarantino script If he had no talent. This chapter is connected to the episode "EBE" and it helps a lot if you've recently watched it. "EBE" contains cameos from Nemo and Dory. What am I talking about? There’s a foreshadowing moment when Deep Throat talks about the sharks with Dory clearly swimming in the background and actually tells Mulder “Don’t stop swimming.”  Coincidence? I think not. The wedding that is mentioned in last chapter was reference to Mulder and Scully's conversation in the beginning of the episode "Roland". At this point in their relationship, Scully notices Mulder's attractiveness from time to time, but that's as far as it goes. Mulder, as usual, doesn't know how he feels and is a complete mess. So let's hunt for proof of extraterrestrial life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Chubby Man that I reference is the First Elder or Fat Man. It's 2017 so I downgraded him to Chubby. They are all growing impatient with Mulder and CSM is trying desperately to protect him. CSM doesn't necessarily want the x-files closed, but the rest of them do. If Deep Throat continues to help Mulder expose their plans, CSM may be forced to make a decision between him and Mulder as Mulder and Scully are on the most dangerous path to the truth.....

Part 2

In an undisclosed location….

“Are all the taps in place?” Said the Chubby Man.

“Yes.”

“How did they know about the body?”

24 hours ago…

Mulder and Scully were on their knees in Mulder’s apartment with papers and Maps strewn about the coffee table and on the floor. The walls were covered with more sticky notes and pictures. “What exactly are we looking for Mulder?”

“Well, when you invited me over for dinner that night, you gave me the idea of tracking military aircraft sightings and layering them over UFO sightings.  After you mentioned it, I thought I would follow those leads and see if I can find connections to my sister.  I will stay focused on the one area until I’m certain it’s a dead end and only then start on another theory.  I wasn’t focused before and thanks to your ideas, now I am.”

“So, I’m responsible for all this?” Scully said looking at the mountains of paperwork that had leaked from his file room.

“Yes. Now if you look over here I added known abductees and matched them to any reported hospital admittance.” Mulder replied pointing her to a new stack of papers.

“I’m not even going to ask how you obtained that information.”

“Good. You don’t want to know. Although, several of my leads came from the Senator. He also was able to help me locate a list of abductees not returned to their place of origin. Anyway, I didn’t find any associations. But, when you look at abductees turning up in the morgues, you get a recent pattern. I’ve narrowed it down to some places in the area we should check out today.  One of them might give us some answers.”

“What better way to spend a Saturday.”

The man paused the computer’s audio.  The Chubby Man frowned.  “Is this all we have?”

“There’s more, but this is all that’s relevant.”

The Chubby Man grew impatient. “So, this still doesn’t answer how the body got to Quantico.”

“That’s a different story. They picked up on an elephant drop.”

In an alleyway not far from Quantico...

“Mulder it’s late.  I think we should call it a night.” Scully was elbow deep in a trash container. There was dirt across her forehead where she had wiped her brow and her cheeks showed equal signs of dust and grime.

“Scully, we’re close.  I can feel it.”

“Mulder, you’ve been telling me that all day.  Now you’ve got me rummaging through dumpsters outside of a morgue.”

“Yes, but this isn’t just any morgue Scully.  This one is beneath an unmarked military building.”

“Mulder, unless some great revelation falls from the sky, I’m going home.  I’m dirty, I’m tired, and I haven’t eaten in over twelve hours.”

“Is that why you’re being such a …..” Before he could get the words out of his mouth a body hit the pavement next to the dumpster behind them.  

Startled, they both gazed skyward, but there weren’t any windows or fire escapes on either of the two buildings in the narrow alleyway.  They ran over to the body and Scully turned the man over.  She snapped on some gloves and did a cursory head to toe while she instructed Mulder to call the police.  “The fall didn’t kill this man.  From the looks of it he has been dead for days.”

“I’ve got someone on the way to transport this man to Quantico. Scully, I think we may finally have proof. Look at his scarring.  He’s an abductee.”  

Meanwhile...

“You’re trying to tell me it’s a coincidence that the ship just happened to return a body at the exact time and location of where those two were standing?” The Chubby Man’s neck was as red as his nose.

“It’s partly a coincidence and some of it deduction from their part.”

“This ends today.  Have you arranged for Dr. Grant to meet him?  Do you have troops on standby?”

“Yes and bombs have been set for backup.”

“Their luck runs out today.”

3 hours later...

Leaving Quantico Mulder and Scully got in their rental and started back to headquarters.  “Scully, look in your side mirror.  I believe we’re being followed.”

No sooner did the words leave Mulder’s mouth a car pulled out in front of them and another swerved behind.  Men dressed in dark green military attire approached the vehicle. “Can we see some identification?” The man said to Mulder in a deep monotone voice.   

“Sir, we’re FBI agents” Scully said as she handed him her badge. “Can you tell us what this is about?”

“My orders are to give this package to Agent Mulder.  I am to speak only with him.”

Mulder took the package.  “Who gave you your orders? Is this from the Senator?”

“Thank you Agent Mulder.” Scully and Mulder watched as the military men got back into their vehicles and drove away.

“What was that? What’s in the package?”

“It’s badges. To get us into the facility.”

“Mulder, how did they know we would want to get in there? Why would they give us clearance?  Mulder, this could be dangerous.  Until we know where these came from I suggest we stay away from there..”

“Scully, you can stay, but I’m going in there.  If there are answers about my sister I need to know. I have to know. Scully, because of you we got to the body before the military personnel were able to cover it up.”

“..and those same people are now giving us all access. It doesn’t make sense Mulder.”

“And what if they have that list that the senator spoke of? Of abductees found not returned to their place of origin.  What if my sister is on that list and I can locate her? Scully, this maybe the closest I’ve ever gotten.  I can’t stop now.”

“I won’t let you go alone.”

Searching through the building Mulder found the door labeled 187.  It matched the key he had been given with the badges.   “You wait out here and watch for guards.” Mulder said to Scully. She nodded and drew her gun.  Mulder  gave a nod back and opened the door.  The room was not a lab as expected, but what looked like a computer manufacturing facility only with technology far advanced from what he had ever seen.  As if tiny robots were fabricating microscopic motherboards.  There was a connecting door on the far right wall.  Mulder started rummaging through files looking for something that might pertain to his sister. It was organized by location and year.  The sound of the side door opening drew his attention.  A thin young man with glasses and a beard stood waving him in.  He followed the man inside. “I’m Special Agent Fox Mulder and you are?”

“Dr. Grant Huntington. I work here at the facility. I was told you might stop by.”

“Who told you?”

“The one that gave you the badges. Now come.”

The back wall was wall to wall windows. Against the far wall was rows and rows of cubes smaller than the Rubix kind with a small round biological substance floating in liquid.   “What are these?”

“Biological material preparing a form of nanotechnology for insertion. Our next phase in biological evolution and warfare.  Unfortunately, you have exposed this facility and have put the information inside at risk. Now I have been forced to take extreme measures.” Knocking over a flask the room filled with smoke.  The doctor hit the switch against the wall and ran full speed towards Mulder. An bomb exploded against the glass shattering it and blasting it outward onto the street.  Tackling Mulder the doctor pushed him towards the gaping hole. Mulder tried to hold his footing while warding off the doctor.  He reached for his gun and it was enough for the doctor to gain control pushing Mulder out onto the ledge. Mulder slipped, falling.  With all his might he called out “Scully!”.  

Scully heard the explosion and his cry.  She ran into the room.  The doctor fired shots her way.  With two shots of her own she took him down.  Frantically, she looked around.  “Mulder!”  

“Scully! Out here!”

Scully ran to the window.  “Mulder grab my hand!”      

Scully saw snipers below kneeling, aligning and firing as she reached for Mulder’s wrist and took hold.  Explosions sounded below and she lost her balance falling onto the marble slab of the ledge.  Her feet hooked onto the frame of the window cutting into the skin on her leg.  “Hold on Mulder! Hold on!”

She dug in her heels and pulled with all her might using both hands.  She was able to pull him up  just enough for him to grab the window frame and pull the rest of the way.  They both toppled inside.  “Come on Mulder!  Let’s go!” she screamed jumping up, heading for the door.

“No.  Not yet.” He started opening up the cabinets, pulling out files.

“Now Mulder, this building is going to blow.”

She tugged his arm again with all her might and he shrugged her off.  They locked eyes. “Now.” She repeated in a much calmer voice as her eyes threw darts at him.

He stopped and followed her out through a newly made exit courtesy of the wake of the bombs. The military missed them simply entering through the door.

As they ran from the explosions Scully thought to herself that he owed her big time.  The next wedding she would not be attending alone. She could only imagine the paperwork and explanations they would have to give to the assistant director.

“Did Agent Mulder survive the explosion?” The Well Manicured Man asked his chubby colleague.

“Yes.  It was unfortunate.” Said the chubby man.

“Was the body removed from Quantico?”

“Everything was cleared.  They walked away with nothing.”

“You’re starting a war you have no business beginning.  Spender will surely retaliate.”

“I have good intel that Spender’s closest colleague is making contact with Mulder.  Giving him classified information without authorization from the group.  Spender making all the calls has gone on long enough.  I already have audio surveillance mobilized as we speak.  I am no longer concerned with repercussions.  It is time Mulder had a most unfortunate accident.”

*******************  

They were arguing, yet not in the widely held definition of the word.  He was listening, tolerating her rebuttal.  Granting her the benefit of doubt as she was of him. As mountain lions and lightening hypothesis spit from her lips, he respectfully regurgitated her words sending them back over the net like a flowery round of verbal badminton.  It was conceivably possible and feasible, but the stopwatches reported the factual data that there was indeed time loss. The anecdotal data combined with the exhaust residue and radiation levels were enough convincing for Mulder.  This was a UFO encounter.

At The Lone Gunman’s lair Mulder had finally brought Scully home to meet the family.  Langley wasted no time asking if she was his skeptical partner while Frohike confirmed his previous hypothesis that she was indeed hot.  At his second declaration Mulder came to her rescue. He told himself he didn’t like anyone disrespecting her or viewing her femininity and not her intellect. She was a professional not to be viewed as an object. He denied to himself that his protectiveness had anything to do with his possessiveness or his own wandering eyes.  

Frohike had gotten under his skin and Frohike’s uncanny ability to be so blunt ate at him.  Back at the office it was still on his mind distracting him from his work.  He must have stared at those pictures through the magnifying glass for over 10 minutes, but he still didn’t give it enough attention to even know what he was looking at.  Was he attracted to her? Could the dreams actually be his subconscious?

“I don’t know how you could think that what they say is even remotely plausible.”  Scully preached from his desk sitting at his chair.

“I think it’s remotely plausible that someone might think you’re hot.” He couldn’t believe the words left his lips, but it was out there now and the response was deafening.  Luckily she had let it lie and kept talking.  If he had not been so apprehensive around females he may have elicited a response.  If they had met in a bar instead of an office would she be attracted to him?  Did he dare tell her the tri-diamond stud earrings she sometimes wore sparkled highlighting her glow although not to be outdone by the one in her eyes? That yesterday he noticed the jade studs and an image flashed of sucking them off her ear with his tongue?  The current track in his head was Barry White and he needed to switch back to Bugs Bunny.  Aliens and baseball, Aliens and baseball.  Scully had stopped talking. He turned to see what was wrong.  They were being bugged and not by a bunny. Instead of taking the pen from her hands, he grabbed her wrist instead.  He felt her hot pulse against his skin.  After such an outburst of verbal affection he needed the assurance of a physical connection.  Later he would inhale the trail of her perfume left on his fingertips.

*****

The Well-Manicured man sat in The Smoking man’s office.  Unwelcomed smoke filling his lungs cutting off his oxygen.  He hated the smoke almost as much as he hated the man.  “Our fears have been confirmed.”  On The Smoking man’s desk he laid a picture of Mulder and Deep Throat talking on a bench.  “This was not the plan.  He was not to make contact.  He was supposed to be a silent observer.  Did you know about this?”

“No.  He told me nothing. I will deal with it.”

“Oh no you won’t.  I know how you deal with things.  He is one of us.”

Smoking Man laughed and took a hit of his cigarette.  “Relax.  That is not my intention.  I have some loyalties. We’ll use his new connection to our advantage.”

“Our other friend has planted surveillance.  Mulder is getting too close to military territory.  If he crosses that line you won’t be able to protect him.”

“He knows how I feel about him interfering with my affairs.  If someone is planting anything, it is to be discussed with me.  This is a collaborative effort not a rogue militia.  I’ll clean this all up.  Leave it to me.”

“Do we have any concerns with our other business?  Has it been disposed of?”

“The bounty hunter has come for it and we are allowing him to pick up his merchandise.”

“In exchange for what?”

“What we all need...  More time.”

The Well Manicured Man got up from his seat. “I’ll set up a meeting next month so we can discuss how we may all move in the same direction.  Good day.”

**************

Mulder had said he had trusted Deep Throat and Scully’s response was a center punch to his gut drawing the darkness out of his soul.  “Mulder, you’re the only one I trust.” His throat tightened, her sincerity unexpected, his voice lower as he struggled to complete his sentence. “Then you’re going to have to trust me.” He placed his hand on her shoulder out of reassurance, for her trust.  Their electricity replacing the embarrassment from their verbal discourse.  Mulder had made love to a woman yet somehow contact with Scully proved much more intimate. She was taking a leap of faith, faith in him.  Scully once again going into territory others never did, on roads Mulder thought he would always travel alone.

Deep Throat left Mulder’s apartment with a heavy heart.  He had lied to Mulder and Mulder returned his betrayal with a thank you.  Deep Throat knew he had no choice.  The Smoking Man and the others now knew they were in contact and they were now using him to manipulate Mulder.  Somehow he had gotten sloppy and now his communications would become more difficult.  Knowing they were listening, he lied to Mulder no more than he had to, but he went along with the deception.  His plans for Mulder would have to wait until the next event arose.

***********

Back at Scully’s apartment Mulder and Scully discuss the photographs given to them by Deep Throat:

The same two fingers that had felt the skin of her wrist now caressed the cotton of her tight knit sweater pressing into the fabric welding his aura permanently to her own emanation.  Scully believing him and following his instincts was more satisfying than sex.  Her previous offenses forgiven although it was short lived. She shattered it all with her disbelief in the photographs.  This time the volume of their voices raised heated with a passion only raw emotions could produce.  Going against himself, he had the photograph analyzed because Scully told him to, because he believed and trusted in her before all others and she was right.  He should have known.  When one is blind the other sees.

*****

Relaying the information concerning the photograph to her, both ignoring their former tirade, he came in close as he told her they were alone on this.  The photograph was a fake. It was her move.  If she looked in his eyes she knew she would have to follow him to the ends of the earth if he needed.  She felt his eyes on her, begging for her compliance, his chest pulling her in with each intake of breath.  She looked up at him and pushed her money into the pot.  She was all in without question.

*****

Deep Throat was proud of Mulder and Scully’s abilities to not be persuaded by the best.  The Syndicate had their hands full with such worthy adversaries.  Deep Throat knew he must tread lightly going forward.  His colleagues were closing in.  A move would have to be made soon and they would most likely retaliate. He felt the onset of war bubbling to the surface.

*****

When Scully arrived at Mulder’s apartment she realized she had missed the party.  He was sweaty and disheveled, exuding masculinity.  He pointed to the wire tap he had located in the power outlet. She surmised it was the reason his apartment had been turned upside down. With her head down she helped him put the room back together.  They would play their own con game and locate the Mack Truck.  The thought of the dangers gave Scully a pure adrenaline rush.  The two of them against invisible shadows produced unadulterated exhilaration and she was finding it difficult not to become flushed standing so close to him.  Mulder so vulnerable and innocent at times, could be headstrong and cunning at others.  Today he was the ladder.

“Hey Scully” Mulder beckoned as he set another sunflower seed between his central incisors. They were in hot pursuit of a Mack Truck containing an alien which always got his juices flowing.  This one was especially delectable considering they were not meant to find him and they were one step ahead of the government or at least they thought.  

“What’s up Mulder?”

“Two flies were flying the wrong way down a freeway. While talking, one ran smack into the windshield of a Mack truck. The other said, “I bet you don’t have the guts to do that again!”  

“Very Funny Mulder.  I think it may be my turn to drive.  You sound like you need some rest.”

“We’re almost there.  You can have dibs on the way back.”

*****

“When you work through outside channels you put us all at risk! I know all about the “accident” you are planning and the building blowup last week.   If you do not call off the dogs you are asking for an all out war.  We have a commitment with Bill I will not betray!” The Smoking Man was irate and chain smoking.

“We also have a deal that he is to stay away from my work.  Now we have him chasing us around the country.  What is your next move?  The bounty hunter will be here soon to pick up the merchandise.”

“We will use your decoy already set in motion. There just won’t be the barrel of a gun at the end of it, but a surgical setup instead.  It will be made to look like the alien was taken back to his home planet. Unlike your measly photographs and elaborate ambushes, this one will not fail.”

“Explain to me again why he is of such great purpose that we keep him alive?”

“He is an integral portion of the overall plan.  He will aid in pacifying the population when the time arrives. For now all you need to know is Bill gave him his seat so he cannot be sacrificed. With everything that happened with Bill’s daughter, it wouldn’t be right to take his son too.”

“And what of his informant?  Do you have plans for him as well?”

“Right now I am seeing how much we can use him to manipulate Mulder. If the time comes for something more extreme, I will deal with it then.  When Mulder follows the bread crumb trail to the power plant, he will be there to show him out with a pat on the head, warm milk, and a bedtime story.”

“What are you going to do about tightening the leash around those two going forward?”

“Blevins will be transferred out as soon as the director and I decide on a suitable replacement. It is apparent he was not the right person for the assignment.  The reason will be simple since we have plenty of documentation of him not holding them accountable for assignments without previous authorization.  Give us no more than a month and I’m sure you will be more than satisfied at the results.”

“Spender, the vote has been cast.  The x-files must be closed.” The Well-Manicured Man added.

“You fear the man that much?” CSM lit another cigarette with the one dangling from his lips.

“We fear the retaliation from alien forces if he insists on risking our exposure any further.”

Mulder had his suspicions that Deep Throat was still telling him half truths.  There was a reason their lives were being spared. Any closer and they might not have been so lucky. To come all this way only to find an empty quarantine medical bay. It was frustrating not to know how much he was truly manipulated and how much he actually had discovered. Why were their lives spared?  What is their true connection? With questions running rampant through his mind he watched Deep Throat walk into the fog of the darkness while Scully bathed him with her light of truth and trust.  Mulder sighed and walked with Scully back to the car. They would live to search another day.


	12. Miracles, Werewolves, and Lightening Bugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains the episodes "Miracle Man", "Shapes", and "Darkness Falls".

Miracle Man

“You’ve got that look on your face Mulder.”

“What look is that?”

“The kind where you’ve forgotten your keys and you’re trying to figure out how to get back in the house.”

He glanced at her with a boyish grin.  She read him like a book.  He could read her too if desired, but he was waiting for the braille edition…

They were in Kenwood Tennessee investigating a self-pronounced healer. Scully was not at all convinced that any miracles took place, but she was afraid of Mulder’s insistence that he was seeing glimpses of his sister.  She knew how vulnerable he was when it came to her. The picture of Samantha he kept on his nightstand at every motel room did not go unnoticed.  He kept one at the office, one on his home desk and one in his overnight bag. Always there as a reminder of why he goes on searching and why he doesn’t give up.  Looking at him caring about his sister had the same effect on Scully as a bare chested man holding a baby.

By the end of the case Mulder was the one playing the part of the skeptic. He slumped behind the wheel of the rental for the four hour ride back to D.C. His resentment of religion prevented him from believing there were true miracles being performed.  Unbeknownst to Scully, Mulder was keeping his distance. Purposefully resisting contact.  The last case brought out feelings he hadn’t wanted to deal with.  Her words rang in his ears.  “You’re the only one I trust.” He found himself thinking about her as he made his coffee in the morning and she entered his final thoughts on the occasions he drifted to sleep.  One night he even caught himself staring at the phone wondering if he should call her to make sure she was okay.  That’s when he decided he needed to pull back.  And that wedding invite.  It wasn’t that he wanted to go, but he also didn’t want her there with anyone else. They were bleeding into each other’s lives and he didn’t want to hurt her. He rather hurt himself. Given his commitment, there would be places he had to go and things he must do where she couldn’t follow.  Mulder thought about the visions of his sister.  He was still picturing her as the little girl that left.  What he told Scully was true.  People were looking hard for miracles.  So hard that they saw what they wanted to see.  A boy that could cure people with the mere touch of a hand. Was it simply a case of the tell-tale heart or did Samuel really rise from the dead?  He looked over at Scully who had been talking about the caseload waiting for them back at the office. There had been a brief two minute pause which usually meant she was falling asleep.  Sure enough her eyes were closed and her head was falling towards the window.  When they arrived in D.C. Scully was still sleeping which gave Mulder an evil idea.  He lined up the car about fifty feet from the wall of the parking garage, took his foot off the break, and let out a yell.  The car rolled towards the wall as Scully woke in a fright and screamed, covering her face and curling into the fetal position preparing for impact.  He knew it was wrong, but he also knew it was funny.  Stepping on the brake he put the car in park and waited. When she finally got her wits about her she let out an exasperated “Oh My God, Mulder. You scared me half to death.” and slapped his arm. He ignored the skip in his heartbeat and simply replied, “I’ll try harder next time.”  Being the nine year old pulling her ponytail in the playground seemed better than honesty.  Besides, he thought she liked his playfulness.  A quick flash of his sister chucking a Barbie at him for teasing her replaced earlier pondering.   The joy was short lived though as dread crept back into his gut. He had to believe his sister was still alive.  

*

Shapes

Browning, Montana

“Go home FBI.” Came the voice from the corner of the bar.

“How did you know?” Mulder replied.

“I could smell you a mile away”

“Well they told me that even though my deodorant is made for a woman it’s  strong enough for a man.”

She asked him why he volunteered for such a clear cut homicide, but he kept it to himself.  Walking through the muddy corral he took note of the human tracks that turned animal.  He hadn’t bothered to mention it to Scully, but he did, however, show her the new found skin that shed from some being. When he did reveal his thoughts she had the usual retort.  Lately, his explanations seemed to anger her and her dismissiveness of evidence made him feel like she was dismissing him.  They were investigating an x-file whose background dated back to 1946 and the first x-file ever started by J Edgar Hoover himself.  He was alone in his enthusiasm and he internalized all Scully’s negativity.  He used those feelings along with his frustration to build his wall and create their distance.  

After the long flight from Montana, Scully was exhausted.  She was sound asleep in bed at the prime time of 9:30PM.  At 11:20 she opened her eyes and stared at the clock. She thought of Mulder and how mysterious he was acting.  He had a knack for being infuriating. The home phone rang startling her.  “Hello?”

“Scully, it’s me.  I just got word that they removed Blevins.”

“What?  Why?”

“There weren’t any specifics.  We’ll be reporting to A.D. Skinner going forward."

“Mulder, what does this mean?”

“I don’t know, but I have a feeling it’s only the beginning. Get some sleep.  I’m sure tomorrow will be an interesting day.”

*

Darkness Falls

Olympic National Forest, Washington State

“It will be a nice walk through the forest.”

“There’s this lake where they discovered this amoeba that can literally suck a man’s brains out.”

“Oh, a brain-sucking amoeba.”

“But what am I looking for?”

 “Anything strange, explainable, unlikely... boyfriend”

 

What they found were ancient insects, mites lying dormant in trees 500-700 years old.  Awakened by the loggers unleashing what could be the next apocalypse if the government’s eradication procedures weren’t effective.

It was the first of many quarantines they would experience together, not unlike the way others celebrated anniversaries.  This was one Mulder would rather forget.  They were there because of him.  He had requested the case.  He had allowed Spinney to take the gas and made decisions on his own to the detriment of Scully.  This was the time when you prayed to God and begged that if she was okay he would never do it again.  There was no purpose for that.  Even if he did believe someone was listening to his pleas, he knew that was something he could never promise by his very nature.  Mulder was certain he’d do it again much like an addict with one more shot of heroin.  

They had released Mulder, now fully recovered, but he wouldn’t leave his partner.   He would stay there until her release, caring for her as best he could.   The doctors had gone home for the night with only a couple technicians on standby in a nearby room. He knelt down besides her bed and lightly stroked her reddened cheek with the back of his knuckles.  Even in that condition under fluorescents she was still beautiful. She had to recover. Scully was the good that came out of his darkness, the light that shined his way.  He allowed his fingers to caress her forearm until they reached her hand giving it a gently squeeze. He had with her, the greatest thing man or any other being had ever known and he knew it.  Fixing the blanket to cover her up, he cupped her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb. Their bond was something he would never speak ill about, never disrespect, and always take for granted to be there. And look where it got her.  His head hung in guilt.   As if will alone could help her, he pressed his lips gently to her forehead as his eyes closed. He stood up and stared at her wanting her to wake. Before retreating to his cot he whispered,  “Goodnight Scully.”

 


	13. Could Be Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today's episode is "Tooms". Of course this is the famous "Iced Tea in that Bag" line. It's when you get to episodes like this that you get nervous. Too easy to mess up. Definitely a favorite. The Syndicate wants the x-files closed, the bounty hunter would rather Mulder was dead, and CSM continues to play Mulder thinking he's luring him into his web. Then there's loyal Scully. She'll sacrifice her career and risk her life for a man that won't give up.

“Do you think they would have taken me more seriously if I wore the gray suit?”

 

CSM diffused his cigarette and observed Scully’s attitude as she left the room.  “That was very good.  I believe she got the point.”

“What is the point exactly?” Skinner asked removing his glasses. “A 75% case completion rate should be more than up to anyone’s standards.”

“Their abilities are not under scrutiny.  It’s their process.”  CSM lit another cigarette.

“I understand that and that is why it was communicated, but I’m not sure I see where they went completely off the rails. It helps when I’m barking orders that I understand what I’m barking or at least why.  The director told me to allow you the courtesy of attending this informal reprimand, but I prefer to build relationships with my subordinates.  I want them to believe these orders come directly from me and I’m not simply a puppet.”

“No one is doubting your competence.  We assigned you because of the level of difficulty.  The heat from these cases is building.  The incidents from last month cannot be repeated.  They work for the FBI and not the other way around.  They will abide or they will find other jobs.  If you can’t make this successful I will be forced to recommend the x-files be closed.”

“Why?  What is the fear with these two?  My understanding was Mulder was put down there and forgotten.   The cases they work on have also been forgotten.  What’s the sudden interest now and why so much chatter about them at the Capital?”

CSM didn’t respond.  Instead he put his cigarette out in the ash tray and left the office.

*

They were threatening her, making her choose between friendship and the search for truth verse protocol and damaging her career.  She would tow the line as long as she could, but in the end there would be a choice.  While investigating and researching she was doing more “off the record” work than she was comfortable with, but she proceeded because it was the right thing to do.  

Excited to share the new developments with Mulder, she headed to the spot he was keeping surveillance purchasing a root beer and liverwurst sandwich on her way as he had requested rations.  She knew he would appreciate the irony of the liverwurst and the root beer would give him the sugary caffeinated jolt  he needed if he refused to get sleep.  She was genuinely concerned for his well-being.  He was obsessed and focused.  Two dangerous combinations for him.  Three days without sleep was enough to drive anyone to delusions and hallucinations.  If he wasn’t going to allow other agents to assist she would stay herself.  She cared about him enough to see him alive and well.  Tooms was not going to get the best of him, not if she could help it.  

“They’re out to put an end to the x-files Scully.  I don’t know why, but any excuse will do.  I don’t really care about my record, but you’d be in trouble just sitting in this car,  and I’d hate to see you carry an official reprimand in your career file because of me.”

“Fox..”  He chuckled at the sound of his name. “I...I even made my parents call me Mulder.  So… Mulder.” Of course it was a lie, but his name leaving her lips frightened him to the core. They needed to maintain professionalism and he needed her to stay a safe distance from his heart. In pure innocence that instance created a foundation.  Instead of the dividing wall he meant it to be, his name would become the first of their idiosyncratic communication, a language spoken by only them.

“Mulder, I wouldn’t put myself on the line for anybody but you.” He was weak from lack of sleep, but she penetrated him like no other.  She had his heart in her hands and he was scrambling for defense.  His humor betrayed him.

“If there’s an iced tea in that bag, could be love.” 

“Must be fate, Mulder…. root beer.”

He feigned disappointment.  Truthfully, tonight the root beer sounded better than iced tea, but he wasn’t letting on.

“You’re delirious. Go home and get some sleep.” In an act of preservation he allowed her to convince him before he did or said something he regretted.  She was his best friend in the world and he would protect that at all costs.

It was the bite of the sandwich that gave her the idea and ultimately the proof they needed that Tooms was everything Mulder said he was. Scully’s brilliance complementing Mulder's tenacity.

After spending some time with police investigators concerning Tooms’ recent injuries, Mulder was released back to the FBI and told to report back to A.D. Skinner in the morning.  As soon as he was back in the car he dialed Scully’s number.

“Scully, Tooms followed me home.  From what I’ve gathered he broke in through my vent, beat the hell out of himself, and went to the police.  He told the police I was the one that attacked him.  I had gone so long without sleep he must have been able to sneak in and out easily without waking me.”

“Mulder, where are you now?”

“I’m on my way back to my apartment.”

“Swing by and pick me up.  We’re going back to the crime lab.  I want to see the report on Tooms’ injuries.”

*

Reviewing the evidence, Scully picked up the photo with the imprint.  “Mulder, this is your proof.”

“What is it Scully?”

“The facial shoe imprint.  When Skinner questions you tomorrow you tell him that any good forensic scientist would know that there would not only have to be a shoe print, but an impact point of the foot from inside the shoe.  You tell him to have them perform an analysis of the injury.  It will prove that your foot was not inside the shoe at the time of impact.” Scully looked at Mulder for approval.  His eyes lightened as he gazed longingly watching her work. It stopped her dead in her tracks. “What?”

“You came down here and did all this for me and none of it is by the book.”

Scully smiled. “You better get some more sleep Mulder.  You’ll need it for tomorrow.”

*

CSM watched as Scully dove to Mulder’s aid with no true care to the repercussions on her own career.  It was reminiscent of the movie playing as he woke from his nightmare the previous night.  Jennifer Grey telling her father, “I know Johnny didn't take the wallet. I know because he was in his room all night. And the reason I know is because I was with him”  It was a disgusting display of friendship.  All that was left was for Mulder to tell Skinner, “Nobody puts baby in a corner.” He had to separate them soon before they got themselves both killed and brought the project down along with them.  He observed Skinner dealing with Mulder.  Skinner was extremely competent and professional. They had done a good job selecting him for this assignment.

CSM took a long drag on his cancer stick and stared out the window.  He knew Mulder was getting tired of the rules and policies holding him back.  It was written all over his face.  The truth was out there and it was that government and society only inhibit progress and results.  CSM smiled to himself.  This was exactly the path he needed Mulder to travel.  Soon he would come to understand that he needed to live outside the government.  That society could not comprehend what he would come to know.  That would be when CSM would strike.  When Mulder was most vulnerable.  That is when he would present him with the seat at the table.  For now, Mulder would need to continue to learn his lessons. Skinner broke his train of thought.

“Mulder was right.  While he was kept tied up with interrogations Tooms killed again.” Skinner glanced through the final pages of the report. “You read the report? Do you believe them?”

“Of course I do.” It was CSM’s only response.

*

Mulder stared at the cocoon high up in the tree.  It was symbolic of events yet to pass.

“A change for us.  It’s coming.” He said still engrossed .

“How do you know.?” Scully asked assuming he knew details she wasn’t privy. 

“A hunch” He replied.

They walked off as the light rain darkened their coats.    Each walking their own walk separately yet following the same path.  A foreshadowing of things to come.


	14. Trust No One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter includes "Born Again", "Roland", and "The Erlenmeyer Flask." and the conclusion of Season 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm prefacing this with you are going to get upset with me, but I have to address the woman on the answering machine in Episode 1 of Season 2. All I will say is Mulder will never have feelings or intercourse with this woman. She is only there for a punch line we will get to next season and a short one at that. Mulder does have a tendency to fall apart when Scully leaves him, but his heart only beats for Scully.

Buffalo, NY

“Are you saying Michelle possesses the ability to psychically project her own will?”

“How else could a 60-pound kid throw a 200 pound detective out the window?”

They had been recommended by the woman’s cousin that worked with them on the original Tooms’ case.  Scully was feeling uneasy.  Mulder usually enjoyed tagging along for autopsies, but this time he left her to go at it alone.  Lately, he felt closed off.  She didn’t know why, but she took it with a grain of salt.  Mulder was private and careful with his personal feelings. For all she knew it had to do with his mother or father.  Of course, Mulder was right about the body.  There were lesions and bruising consistent with localized electrocution. Her hands went clammy and her heart pounded in her chest. The thought of proving extraordinary phenomena was equal to a log flume with a 200 ft. drop.  Suddenly, it was hard to breath.   Even with the science right in front of her she didn’t want to believe it.  If it was true, so were the ghosts that went bump in the night.  It meant the world could be flat and gravity might only exist because of a mental collaborative effort.  After struggling through semesters of Organic Chemistry, to find out it might not be worth the ink it was printed on.  If reason wasn’t tangible, how could you control your own fate? If it was all true, she would be trapped in a world where the only sane would be the crazed.  Then what Mulder said was correct. They really were alone.

 

“Reincarnation, metempsychosis, transmigration, reembodiment -- call it what you will.”

“Where does that leave us?” She asked not wanting an answer.

“One short step away from proving the preexistence of the human soul”

It was a quiet flight back to D.C.  Another truth whose proof had slipped through Mulder’s fingers.  Even though he expected it, he was disappointed that Scully refused to have the courage to speak the truth with the unbridled enthusiasm that he did.  One day.

“So what are your plans this weekend Scully?” Mulder asked casually as he started the rental car that would take them back to their office.  It was an innocent inquiry.  

“Tonight is the famed bachelorette party for my friend and tomorrow is the wedding. Sunday I’ll probably be recuperating.”

He had forgotten all about the wedding.  Suddenly he was nervous. “Well, have fun.”

“What will you be doing this weekend Mulder?”

“Oh, the guys want me to go over to their place.  I’m also researching some leads for our next case.”

Scully sighed. “See you on Monday then.”

“Yup.  See you on Monday.”

Back in Mulder’s apartment it didn’t take too many bounces of the basketball for his imagination to provide some undesirable images of Scully.  Mostly of her gyrating with some half naked male stripper stuffing two dollar bills into his g-string. He had to get out of the house.  

Not wanting to participate in a round of Dungeons and Dragons with Langley or play with Frohike’s latest x-ray vision glasses, he found himself on a bar stool staring at the faithful bartender Joe.  It wasn’t the lure of alcohol, but the draw of companionship without conversation that kept him there.  Not much of a drinker, Mulder was buzzing by the third beer.   Why didn’t he volunteer to escort her to that wedding?  He knew her relatives would set her up if she went alone.  With every sip another thought came.  Why did he care?  She could do whatever she wanted.  It’s not like they were anything but friends.  He rationalized that he only wanted to keep her from unwanted groping hands.  He took a bigger swallow.  What if she went home with someone?  Why would that bother him? Because of the work.  It might interfere with their pursuits.  He finished the third and tapped the bar for the fourth.  He had to stop his brain.

When he looked over to his left he realized he was not alone.  An attractive woman had been noticing him reveling in self-pity.  

“Hi.  You okay?” She asked.

“Yeah.  Do I look that bad?”

“You look like a man trying to forget.”

“Nope.  Just trying to have a good time.”

“No offense, but you look like hell.”

“It’s hell I’m trying to wash away.”

“A woman?”

“No...no. Job stress.”  

“Your boss?”

“Partner.”

“What did he do?”

“He? He’s a she.”

“She must be someone you care about. I’ve seen that look on my own face. I’d kill for the man that put that look on my face.”

“I don’t know…..  I don’t know.  I’m just trying to protect her.  There’s a lot of crazy people out there…..”

“There’s also a lot of crazy people in here. Which is why you should come with me to get some coffee somewhere and continue our conversation.”

Was he being hit on?  He was use to the ladies at work harassing him, but this was an actual prospect. This woman was quite attractive. Why did he have so much trouble picking up woman?  Oh, yeah. “Wait.  Do you believe in extraterrestrials?”

“Hmm.  It’s not like I don’t believe.”

“I’ll take it.” He said and grabbed his coat.

*

There was a pounding on Mulder’s apartment door.  No.  The pounding was coming from his head.  He did half a crunch to raise himself to his feet and hit his head on the bottom of his desk knocking him back to the floor.  Apparently, he wasn’t on his couch. Carefully, he got himself out from under his desk holding his head.  Still in the clothes from last night he popped two aspirin and headed for the shower.

While shaving, he took note of the hickey on his neck as the phone rang.  “Mulder.”

“Hi Mulder, It’s Terry.”

“Terry….Terry.”

“Yeah, Terry, from the bar last night.”

“Terry, I got to be honest.  Last night I may have had one too many and the events are a little fuzzy.”

She paused and he waited for her response. “How about we meet for lunch and I’ll refresh your memory.”

Mulder hung up the phone.  What the hell happened last night?  The voice on the phone was deep and sensual. Raspy like a smoker’s, but it did not jog his memory.  Racking his brain all the way to the diner, it wasn’t until he saw her sitting in the booth that he remembered. Shit. They had been in his rental car together.  Kissing.  Had clothing been removed? No. That’s right.  He didn’t have a condom and she didn’t want to stop...Oh, crap.  She had gone down on him.  He took a deep breath and stepped inside the diner.  Terry was all smiles at the sight of him.

“Some night last night.  Huh?”

“Yeah.  I apologize if I was out of line. My memory is slowly coming back to me.”

“For what it’s worth, I had a good time.  Look, don’t take this the wrong way, I’m just trying to get to know you, but is Scully your boyfriend?”

Oh no, she thinks I’m gay. I must have been really bad last night. “I don’t understand.”

“You called me Scully more than once last night.”

“Oh.  No..uh….sorry.”

“Is your name really Mulder? That’s an odd name. You kept telling me to call you Mulder.”

“Yeah.  It’s my last name.  My first name’s Fox, but call me Mulder.  Everyone else does.”

“Okaaaay.  Mulder. Honestly, when you gave me your name and number last night I figured they were fake. Most men are pigs.  I assumed you got what you wanted and were on your way.”

“I feel bad about last night.  I was in kind of a bad place. Why don’t we start over? We could catch a movie or something. I’ll prove to you I’m not a pig.”

*

It was Monday morning and they were investigating a murder, but that didn’t peak Mulder’s interest.  That was not why he took the case. He wanted the case to see the next phase in jet engine technology.  The project everyone claimed didn’t exist.  He was also trying to get the thoughts of Scully out of his brain.  When he saw her, even though he didn’t want to hear anything about it, he couldn’t help himself.  

“How was the wedding?”  Did you come home alone or will I be hearing a deep voice answer your telephone late at night?

“You mean the part where the groom passed out or the dog bit the drummer?”

“Did you catch the bouquet?” Did she have hopes to catch the bouquet? Is she looking for marriage?  Why wouldn’t she want to loom downstairs in the basement with me forever.  Wasn’t the work enough?

“Maybe.  So is that what you couldn’t talk to me about over the phone?”  She’s teasing  me.  I just know it.  Was that flirting?  No, she wouldn’t flirt with me.  Would she? Scully, ol’ pal, ol’ buddy, ol' chum, you’re driving me crazy.

*

“You’ve got merchandise running around loose and you’re worried about the x-files? Whatever resources you’re using needs to be stepped up.  What if it gets injured?  How do we explain away green blood?  This  could expose everything. Once again I’ll have to clean up your mess. Remember this the next time you complain about Agent Mulder.” CSM walked out of the offices.  He had enough.  From the time the project began he had plans to take over.  He was tired of their insolence and incompetence. It was time to put the true project in motion.  The one where he rules the world and only the chosen few survive.  Life will go on, but it would be in his image.

*

“Okay, Mulder, but I’m warning you.  If this is monkey pee, you’re on your own.”

Sunday May 8, 1994

“We’ve located him sir.   He was driving Dr. Berube’s car.  Last night he was in a high speed chase with the police and disappeared.  We switched out the cars as not to rouse suspicion towards the lab.”  

The Chubby Man was pacing as he heard the words from his cohorts  “This….thing….needs to die.  We can’t have him running around in society. I hate to say it, but it’s time to call Spender.”

Deep Throat walked out of the room and drove to a diner on a deserted street, picked up the receiver of a payphone and dialed Mulder’s number. The Syndicate may be having trouble locating this man, but he knew two super sleuths who could track him down in no time.  Now that they knew he kept in contact with Mulder, the heat was too intense to reveal too much. He simply told Mulder to watch channel 8.

*

Scully had a fear Mulder was being led astray. A prisoner of his own motivations and perversions, they knew he lived and breathed for the cause. Protective as she was of him, she trusted no one with his fragile heart and wouldn’t let him be the victim. His passion made him vulnerable and it was no secret of his thirst to drink the Kool-Aid.  Now Purity Control was a Kool-Aid of a different flavor.  One sweetened with alien DNA and bacteria that contained a virus 2 million years in the making.

“You killed Dr. Berube?” The Chubby Man was furious. “Purity Control is our project.  You step on my toes..”

“You couldn’t take care of the situation in a timely fashion, so now it’s my turn.  Dr. Berube was careless and released  Dr. Secure to the world. He could no longer be trusted.” CSM lit up a cigarette. If they had been in a dark alley instead of a drab office building he would have taken care of all of them.

“What about our friend?” The Chubby Man said pushing it further.

“I had him followed.  We believe he’s tipped off Mulder.” CSM puffed his cigarette. “I have a man trailing Mulder.  He’s under control.”

“He better be.” The Well-Manicured Man replied now entering the conversation.  “We need to pull in these reigns quickly.  We haven’t had this kind of an issue since the boxcar incident over 40 years ago. My men reported two ambulance workers seriously injured”

CSM’s phone rang and he picked it up ignoring his colleagues. “Sir, we located Mulder. We have reason to believe he may have access to Zues storage.”

“Empty all storage units.” CSM replied looking the Chubby Man in the eye.

“And Mulder?”

“Scare him off, but leave him alive.” CSM hung up the phone.

*

She told herself she did it for Mulder.  That investigative work was part of the job. But as she drove to meet Mulder in front of Zeus storage, she wondered if she got off on it too or was the thrill itself a contagion. Dr. Carpenter said the words extraterrestrial and her heart had gone wild.  This case was no log flume, but a looping roller coaster, twisting and turning inside her gut.  As they stood on a sidewalk recently drenched from a  midday spring shower, Scully felt exposed.  His words were a slap in the face to let her know how much she hurt him. She should have trusted his instincts and let go.  In that moment as he looked at her they both knew he had claimed her innocence.  Flying blind she entered into his world, intimate and dark, alone and dangerous.  Now they were in that place together and she could never look at him or herself the same way again.

Mulder went to Dr. Berube’s home thinking he might be hiding Dr. Secare there.  Which he was. CSM’s assassin had followed Mulder and shot Dr. Secare.  They killed him and prepared the body. Following CSM’s orders they left Mulder irritated, but alive.  Dr. Carpenter and her family suffered a more gruesome fate, the price for Scully’s lab work.

“We’ve got Mulder and Dr. Secare has been disposed of.  What’s the next move?”

“I will contact you when the timing is right” CSM spouted as smoke covered his face.

The man known as Deep Throat sat in the cushioned red leather chair across from CSM.  They were the only two in the room.

“We’ve been friends a long time you and I.  We owe each other the truth.” Deep Throat said as he lifted his eyebrows.

“Yes.  We do.” CSM took a deep draw on his cigarette. “I know you’ve gone to see Mulder and I know that is why he’s been sniffing around.”

“I merely told him to watch the news.”

“Well, our men have him.  I need you to meet with Scully.  Get her to break into Fort Marlene and get hold of the tissue.  I want us to have complete control of the purity program.”

“You’re stirring up trouble.” Deep Throat warned.

“They started this war and now I will finish it.  They’ll get their retribution. Eventually. We’ll secure a drop-off point and exchange Mulder for the tissue.  Everyone will be satisfied and Mulder and Scully will be back to square one. Make sure you do the exchange.  I don’t want this screwed up any more than it already is.”

“I heard they took care of Dr. Carpenter?” Deep Throat said.

“A little extreme even for my taste, but the evidence is gone.” CSM put his cigarette up to his lips once again. “After tonight we will begin taking control of all the hybrid experiments. I have no use for any of my other partners. In the end it’s you and I at the dais...and...if all goes as planned… Mulder.”

With all tangible evidence gone Scully frantically went looking for Mulder.  Scully was angry and hell hath no fury like Scully without Mulder.  Desperately she did as she was told and entered the high containment facility at Fort Marlene, to obtain the original tissue and deal for Mulder’s life. Adrenaline coursed through her system as she held the alien tissue in her hands. Frightened of the truth, it was Mulder’s life in danger that gave her the courage to see it for herself.

“Sir, we’ve obtained the dropoff point.”

“Good.  As soon as you have the package in your hands dump Mulder and shoot our friend.”  CSM puffed at his cigarette sucking in the smoke until he was lightheaded.  
“Sir?  You want me to kill him?”

“Yes.  There is a price to pay for disloyalty.  Even at this level.  Remember that.”

“Yes Sir.”

She waited in her car for him close to tears.  Deep Throat.  Parcel in hand.   The watchful eyes of the city lights far away from the sins being committed on the overpass in the darkest of nights. The distant fumes from industry violated the already acrid air. She would trade Mulder’s life for countless others.  It was selfish, she knew, but she justified it with the possibility that his mind could save the world.

Committing evil’s face to memory, she surveyed the scene as it unfolded in her rearview mirror. The parcel was exchanged.  A single explosion of gunpowder, the shot rung out and deception penetrated Deep Throats heart.  Scully watched as Mulder tumbled out of the van rolling unconscious onto the pavement.  Her heart sank as she ran to his aid calling his name to wake her sleeping beauty.  Feeling for a pulse, thank God it was there, she went to the aid of Deep Throat.

Scully put pressure on his wound, but it was far too late to save the injustice.  The man they called Deep Throat forever returned to the shadows, and with it the secrets of his friendship.  His only solace was that he got to leave all the pain behind.  Pain, once burning like fire was slowly fading to an icy numbness, while his breath came in ragged shallow gasps.  Seconds passed as black filled the edges of his vision and all there was left to feel was his own heartbeat oozing his life onto the wet pavement.  He would die, but his iniquity would live on. With purgatory already enveloping his soul he uttered the only thing gained from his life on Earth worth passing on to his two progenies.

Trust No One


	15. Spectacle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The episode "Little Green Men." Scully misses Mulder and saves him once again. It's her faith in him that drives him to never give up.

“My life up to this point was to see her again, to see them, but what would I do if they really came?”

It was a Saturday morning and Scully was cleaning her apartment. The x-files had been closed and they had been reassigned. As if beamed from the enterprise, she was back in the world.  The world of logical and tangible.  The one that made sense in a  structured safe way.  There were no demons to battle and dragons to slay.  The familiar pull no longer woke her at night with the phone ringing moments later to find his voice on the other end. Yes, just like that she had her old life back.  The one with the storybook ending.  This life was so comfortable she could sleepwalk through it in an old pair of fuzzy slippers.  

A sparkle of light caught her eye as she was dusting the table behind the couch and she bent down to investigate.  Reaching under the couch she pulled out a pair of wire framed reading glasses.  They must have fell the last time he was there.  He never mentioned them being lost, but she knew they were his.  She laid them on her computer desk and continued her chores.

Later that day she put them on.  Wore them the way you dressed in a man’s shirt after a night of passion.  They rested on the bridge of her nose and hugged her ears. Just like him, they gave her the vision to see that which was not previously in focus. The frame around the lense pressed against her furrowed brow and kissed her flushed cheek. She brought them to work and wore them as if it were her boyfriend’s varsity team jacket.  No one recognized them of course.  Her dirty little secret.  She wanted the more that was him.  

The summer had been quiet and she had stayed away as he had requested.  “Contact is too dangerous” he had said.  Fearing a fate similar to that of their friend she had complied, but she missed him.  In this process, she hadn’t just lost her partner, she had lost a good friend.  Standing in front of a group of doe-eyed students the distance between her and the matrix world was evident.  The spiritual did exist and could not be explained away by blood and tissue.   We were not just the sum of our parts.  

A naive student bathed in all her innocence referred to her instruction as spooky.  That word rolls off the tongue freely when you hadn’t dove into the deep end of the pool, came eye to eye with the Lochness Monster and had Bigfoot hand you a cocktail.  It was time to reach out.

On his desk she left their secret code: a tipped down picture frame of a sister lost, but never forgotten and a blank sticky note. In passing in the hallway she saw him approach.  Distant, almost sad, more than a couple days of stubble growth on his face.  He had retreated from the world back into his own mind and the thought gripped her tight.  Their existence had become as empty as his sunflower shells rocking on the floor of his latest assignment.  Cracked and jaded without the other to fill it with purpose.  

They had made him second guess himself.  Their stint in the real world marred their reality to the point he thought he was crazy.  Brooding and beaten in a dimly lit parking garage, supported by a single pillar she held him up. He had learned from her he needed material evidence or the tree that fell in Wonderland didn’t exist. She believed in him.  Believed in the hopes of the scared little boy with little green men running circles in his head. The one that wanted his sister back as they punished him to his room and lied to his face. Believed that her George Hale had the power and brilliance to build a million telescopes and bring it all to focus.  With the words on her lips and a touch of her hand on his soft brown strands she had created their battle cry: Don’t Give Up.  Artemis, his goddess of the hunt, with a single hand healed his weariness, pumped life into his blood and gave him the strength of a thousand more battles. In the darkness, born again into the light of her soul he opened his eyes and breathed again.

By the light of the fishtank he was summoned to the hill.  Through the light of the fish tank, donning his Clark Kent specs, she gained his coordinates. Typing into the computer she used the motto Deep Throat gave his life for them to learn.

“Before I could only trust myself, now I can only trust you and they’ve taken you away from me.”  Mulder was speaking to her, recording his voice for all prosperity, in his jungle ladened paradise of Puerto Rico.  They were partners beyond earthly labels and constraints of time and space.  No matter how hard mortals tried, they could not be severed.

*

CSM felt it slipping through his fingers.  Blevins had been promoted instead of reprimanded.  They had closed the x-files as punitive damages for the missing alien tissue that he had locked away.  Now Mulder had disappeared betraying him as well. Even Skinner was showing signs of defiance. His plans would not be thwarted.  More blood would be spilled. And Scully.  Dear Scully.  What of your insolence?

*

She came to visit him at his new job.  In a dark seedy room Mulder and Scully searched for proof that would not come.  At that instance Mulder chose to share his revelation. One so strong he did not have the courage to feel it in her eyes as he said it for he knew it was bold, powerful, and penetrating.  He could never have nothing for he would always have her.  As long as Scully was there to believe in him, he had the fortitude to believe in himself, and the trust that she could never leave his side. Because of that, he would never give up. As he fiddled with the tape she looked up at him and her heart melted despite herself.

She put her hand over his in solidarity, in strength to maintain. They would get through this and a lot more.  His thumb rubbing her hand in acknowledgement.  An electric  caress.  She left him quietly turning with one final silent thought.  Their eyes locked intimately, a profound and unspoken devotion, acknowledging what they both knew to be true. They were two halves of that same sunflower seed and when the time came to grow together and reach outward, the sun would be there to nourish them and the stars would be waiting in a sweet embrace.


	16. One Man's View

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse into the mind of Fox Mulder.

It was early morning, yet you wouldn’t know it from the darkness spread all over the apartment. The apartment I once slept in was in shambles. Ransacked. Now it matched the way I felt. The television as cold as my heart. Both not having been used for some time. The ceiling fan lay still with a layer of dust perched on each blade. In fact the only sound that dared to enter was a distant chirping of birds naive to my world. Who’s sitting on the couch staring off into space? You mean the one with the fingers of his right hand caressing the gold cross laying in his pocket? Yeah, that would be me. In a trance, praying to a God I don’t believe in.  It’s okay, I don’t believe in myself either.  If there was a God, not even He could save me.  I’m Special Agent Fox Mulder and right now, there really isn’t much that’s special about this agent.  Except that I killed my partner. Bless me Father for I have sinned. How?  Well, it’s funny you should ask….

It all started with this giant blood sucking worm.  No, not the smoking man, an actual worm...that’s also a kind of human, but not created from  ...Nevermind, it’s not important.  You see, Skinner, my boss, didn’t like others running his department.. I can relate...  And he is finally understanding how important the work really is. So an x-file falls into his lap and who does he call?  Ok, I asked for that. No, not Ghostbusters. Me.  Only I’m a horse’s ass so instead of following through with my assignment, I embarrass myself in front of a room full of honchos.  

You would think after that I go back to NJ and do what I’m getting paid to do, but instead I wallow in self pity on the shoulder of the only friend I have.  Scully.  Who’s Scully?  Special Agent Dana Katherine Scully is only the greatest person alive in my book and there’s plenty special about her.  Only she’s not going to be alive much longer and it’s why I’m throwing myself at the mercy of God or whoever else would listen, but we’re getting to that.

After work we had met up at a bench away from the suspecting ears of our adversaries. Scully is such a good friend that as I complain she tried to think of ways to will my no nothing case to become an x-file.  That’s how far she would go for me and she proved it every day. But that night, on that bench, staring at the Washington Monument across the water, on that clear night, I should have stopped her.  I knew of the consequences.  I knew they didn’t want us working together and how serious the threat was.  She didn’t.  She wasn’t privy to the ways and capabilities of pure evil and I never took the time to warn her.  Now she has paid for my indiscretion. Why didn’t I stop her and keep my distance?  That is the million dollar question.

We spent the whole summer not speaking.  I had made up my mind the safest thing to do was for us to just dissolve, but I’m going to admit to you what I am even unwilling to admit to myself.  I’m lost without her.  I’m alive, but I’m not living. Did you take a good gander at the condition of the man sitting on that couch? The sunken tear stained face with dark circles holding up my eyes? Did you smell the rotting dishes in the kitchen? Notice my protruding ribs rubbing against the top of my black leather belt barely doing its job at the very first notch? That’s me without Scully. Look, the best way I could explain it is when a woman is able to deceive the FBI, CIA, and who knows what other organization, willing to go through customs and dodge military artillery  just to save your ass, that’s not someone you simply walk away from.   

I’m getting off topic. So I’m sitting on this bench smiling at her.  Why? Because of her willingness to want to work with me, to do for me. Do you think she’s developing romantic feelings for me?  I couldn’t be so lucky. But if you look carefully at her body language that night, at her eyes sparkling with moonlight, you’ll see what I’m talking about. What was she telling me that made me push forward on this case? She was saying, that’s right Fox, actually to her I’m Mulder so it’s that’s right Mulder, you want me to do your autopsy don’t you? Nice and thorough.  You want me to do it just for you. I know the way you like it. No, that’s not the words she used, but you get the idea.  

So here we are on this clear night, the sound of the water lapping against the rails, and  I’m going on and on about how I’m the square peg in the round hole.  Then I look over to her and she has this look on her face.  Her hair is dancing in the light breeze and the city lights are blurred in the backdrop and she just looks…. If I ever had an urge to kiss her it was then. Instead I proclaim my love to her in our own way.  I tell her I’m thinking of leaving the FBI. That she would be the only reason I would stay, but they took her away from me.   Her response? “There’s a dead body isn’t there?”  She never gives up on me.  How can you not appreciate that kind of friendship? I smelled like the sewer and was experiencing violent impulses, but she still took her chances.

It was that case that made me realize that maybe it wasn’t just the x-files I missed.  I missed her too.  I wanted my partner next to me.  You see, when we argue about how big a worm can grow, you can’t get that professional banter just anywhere.  We have an electricity.  We eat tension for lunch.  That’s our paranormal foreplay.  And she missed it just as much as I did, even if it did come with a side of scientific rhetoric. How do I know?  Because someone who doesn’t miss you doesn’t say things like “it would be more than a professional loss if you decide to leave.”  That’s right, I remember these things.  I remember everything Scully tells me.  It imprints on my brain and not just because I have a photographic memory. Look, you’ve got to know how special she really is to me.  How many people do you get excited when you show them your giant blood sucking worm?  Yes, I said it like that on purpose.  Another thing I’ll admit to you, but not anyone else, when she starts spewing things like “Platyhelminthes are often hermaphroditic” and “It’s vestigial features appear to be parasitic, but it has primate physiology” she arouses more than my attention. Now don’t get the wrong idea.  We’re platonic friends out of mutual respect for each other and that’s the way we want to keep it, just sometimes there are parts of my body that choose to ignore the decision.  Hey, I’m only human.  At least as far as I know.

Scully and I may not discuss what our favorite ice cream flavor is or who we took to our senior prom, but there’s always time for that.  Our discussions are darker in nature. Although sometimes we get into personal matters.  Why just last week we were discussing my private life. “Mulder, it’s none of my business, but when I was searching for clues when you went missing, I noticed a female voice on your answering machine that wasn’t from usual sources.  Do you have a girlfriend?”  The expression on her face was one of pure curiosity.  Now I have an art for only telling Scully part of the truth, but I can’t lie to her.  We had met for lunch at a local cafe. As usual we were tucked away in a private booth out of the earshot of others.  She looked terrific in a new violet power suit that hugged everything the right way and her lips were doing that Brigitte Bardot impression like it was going out of style. Like I said, she’s my friend, but I’m not dead.  “No, no one in my life at this time.”  I tried to keep it short hoping she would change the subject.

“So what’s the story Mulder.  She called you a pig.”

“Maybe I am.” One might think that this type of probing might be considered crossing a line, but understand, Scully and I were use to spending almost 24 hours a day together for most of the week and when we were not together, we were on the phone.  When you put in that kind of time cramped in cars, airplanes, motel rooms, and offices, you get kind of close.  We’ve pretty much seen each other naked and we have full access to each other’s apartments. You do the math.  Scully sifting through my most private things  is not a problem for me, at this point we have no clear  boundaries.

“Mulder.” Scully is quite gifted in allowing my name alone to communicate everything I ever need to know.  Right now she’s prying the information out of me using a pair of forceps. Don’t let Scully fool you, she likes to gossip as much as the next person. I look up and her eyes still my heart.  Of course I’m going to tell her.  

“You really want to know?”

“This sounds like a story. Spill it.”  She said it in her Lauren Bacall voice and it made me think she should be holding a cigarette and I should be lighting it.

“We were seeing each other for a while, here and there, but we broke up.”

“Broke up? When?”

“Shortly after I came back from Puerto Rico. We had…..irreconcilable differences.”

“Mulder” That was the I feel bad for you my poor sweet puppy “Mulder”. See what I mean? Oh, she’s still speaking. “It’s healthy to have relationships outside of work.. Maybe you should give her another chance.”

“Scully, the her you’re referring to….. Is a he.” I might as well tell her.  She’ll figure it out sooner or later and the look on her face right now is worth admission.

“What? Is he a transvestite?”

“Well, he refers to himself as gender neutral. He’s gay for the most part. Transvestites are actually usually heterosexual. He enjoys identifying as a woman and is attracted to men, but has no desire to lose his “masculinity” so to speak. He thought I knew and I didn’t.  That’s it. We parted amicably.”

“How did you not know? Didn’t you notice the adam’s apple?”

“I don’t know.  He was beautiful. There was no adam’s apple that I could tell.” Yes this is uncomfortable, but I’m playing it cool.  Either that or she holds it over my head for the rest of my life and it was quite a traumatizing experience I would rather forget.  If I dwell too much I’m going to wind up on some shrink’s couch. Instead, I put up a calendar of half-naked women in the office, watched some porn, and went on with my day.

“How did you discover this revelation?”

“I rather not say.”

“Mulder, you can’t tell me all this and not tell me what happened.” That “Mulder” would get Houdini to fork over his secrets and make grown men cry.

“Things got a little heated and I found a little more down there than I bargained for.” I have to give her credit, she held in her laughter much longer than I figured she would, but that last image sent her over the edge.

“Come ‘on Scully.  It’s not funny. How would you have reacted if you found out the man you were seeing was a woman?”

“I guess it would depend how good she was.  Wow Mulder.  You handled it quite well. I’m impressed.” I don’t know about you, but the picture of Scully with a woman flashed through my head and now I’m going to have trouble getting up from the table.  Good thing I wore the baggy slacks today.

“Yeah, well, us deviants have to stick together. How’s that salad treating you?” And with that we finished our lunch and none of the conversation that day was even close to as entertaining as that one.

After we caught the human fluke worm,  my next case was investigating what would be classified as a killing spree.  As I make my notes, just as back in Puerto Rico, I’m not just typing field notes.  They’re my love letters to Scully.  She’s the voice of my preconscious ego.  She grounds me, tells me what is reality, keeps it all organized and gives me validity and identity.  So when I’m stumped and sitting in my hotel room, who am I speaking to?  You guessed it.  By the way, that police investigator today got under my skin by insulting right fielders. As a right fielder, I’m telling you it is a very important position.  It’s not just a position to stick players that can hit but don’t know how to field.  Forget that Babe Ruth was a right fielder. Reggie Jackson, Darryl Strawberry, Tony Gwynn, Roberto Clemente, Hank Aaron, and Dave Winfield all played right field.  Where would baseball be without them?

So, I sent my notes to Scully back at Quantico.  This is after they have told us they do not want us working together. I know, it’s very unlike us, unlike me, to ignore protocol and decide that she’s my partner anyway.  Some might call that arrogance, but I call it using technicalities to one’s advantage.  While on the case, a woman attacked me with a knife  and Scully wasn’t there to tend to my wounds.  That is suffering.  She’s my doctor you know and nobody takes care of me like she does. In fact, she cares for me better than my mother, but that one’s for my therapist. Did I mention Scully is now also my personal autopsy chick? Yup. If you kill ‘em, she’ll slice ‘em and dice ‘em.  Detect ‘em and inspect ‘em.  Anyway, that’s how we justify working on cases together.  Every FBI agent should have one.  They’re better than secretaries.   All kidding aside, working with Scully is what allowed me to crack this case and why we needed to be together.

My next step was to hit up my friends at the  Lone Gunman where I discovered the government had something to do with the people of this strange town’s murderous behavior.  Surprise, surprise.  They  were spraying experimental pesticides.  While I was there I also sold Scully out to Frohike for a pair of night vision goggles. Well, I gave him her phone number.  I know he’s harmless. Hey, I never said I was a nice guy.  She did.  Am I affected by Frohike’s obsession with Scully? Not anymore than everyone else that shows her affection.  That didn’t answer your question? Sorry, some answers I keep to myself.

While investigating, I was sprayed with these aforementioned pesticides. My first call?  You’re catching on. Scully traveled 300 miles in the middle of the night in an attempt to prove the pesticides were turning me into the next Charles Manson and help me solve the case.  This is at my request.  And Frohike doubts I don’t have game.

I’m getting to why I’m telling you all this.  By bending the rules and manipulating the system so we were still working together, raised the eyebrows of the men that chose to keep us apart.  It was a slap in the face and they weren’t taking it well.  So they decided to make a statement.  

Which leads us to the latest tip I got on a case.  One that had that hint of an extraordinary flair. I figured it was from my new found friend in the FBI. So I request it and the part I didn’t know was the one assigned to the case was Alex Krycek.  Skinner claims innocence and I believe him since he has been the one throwing me these cases and keeping his mouth shut about Scully and I working together.  Alex was sent as a spy to help set the trap to show me who’s boss. So I do my best to ditch Krycek and I call my real partner, Agent Scully, who was reluctant at the time.  Scully was torn.  She wants to tow the line and be the exemplary employee, but at the same time, she still has that urge to ride on the back of that Harley with the badass boyfriend with the tattoos, earring and leather jacket.  Now I know, that doesn’t fit my M.O., but in the world we live in I’m as cool as they come.  Hey, if you’re looking for adventure I’m the guy that’s going to give it to you.  See there’s the rub and that’s how the wheels set in motion.  

If you haven’t figured it out yet, we’re imprisoned in a world with a translucent dome and all those that enter get trapped in here with us.  It looks like the reality you’re use to, until your everyday objects start to change form and Grimm’s fairy tales become history books.  No need to get upset. There’s no escape. You now just see the world for what it really is; in all it’s vivid pageantry. Alex was our newest member.

You should have seen the look on Scully’s face when she saw me walk into the autopsy room.  It was bright and cheery and welcoming.  One thing that did happen from our separation was that the strength of our friendship really took shape.  Scully, my beautiful skeptic, took one look at Krycek and didn’t trust him.  This time, as in some others I’ll admit, I should have followed her lead.  One of the many big mistakes I made was to let Kycek witness us in the heat of a passionate moment.  Now, there you go again.  Look our passionate moments are about the supernatural, about cases, but they’re just as intense and pleasurable as any sexual encounter you could ever have.  No really.  You wouldn’t understand and that’s the point. Even God couldn’t have predicted what would happen when Scully and I met.  Our brains charge together like the Wonder Twins, you know that old cartoon show? They’re part of the Superfriends?  Anyway, together, we can crack anything, but we need each other, we feed off each other and he witnessed one of our intimate transformations.  Look, I can’t explain it, it just exists okay? And he saw it....


	17. Falling to Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These two chapters take place around the episodes "The Host", "Blood", "Sleepless", "Duane Barry", "Ascension", "3", and the first part of "One Breath". We are still trapped inside the mind of Fox Mulder. Once Scully awakens from her slumber we can return to our regularly scheduled programming.

As I sit, running the delicate gold chain of her cross over and around my fingers, I realize I haven’t gotten to the crux of how I got here.  So much time has past without her, it felt good to remember the time with her.  I have to apologize if my brain is drifting aimlessly from subject to subject. My brain normally is rapid fire and I haven’t slept since she was taken.  I can’t.  Any sleep I do get is with my eyes open.  I don’t even know how I’m not hallucinating by now.  Maybe I am.  Nothing matters anymore without Scully. She can’t die on me.  She just can’t. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to carry on without her.

I've got to change the subject. Let's continue the story:

Where was I? Right. My first assignment with Agent Krycek. At that point, going on an x-file with Scully in the background wasn’t the same and it made me miss her even more.  I was calling her with every move.  I was developing a bad case of her even if I didn’t realize it at the time.  I’ve had my share of women mess with my head.  I’ve had women lead me around by the nose and make me beg for it. Through all that, I never, in all my life, met a woman I couldn’t walk away from or that I stopped from walking away from me.  I’ve been hurt.  A lot and severely, but I never had a case of anybody. Then I met Scully. Scully drives me crazy in every way you can imagine. We were on the phone reviewing and exchanging ideas on my most recent investigation and the conversation took a turn.  Did I mention she does all this in addition to her own workload?

“What if by existing consciously in the unconscious world, he’s developed the ability to externalize his dreams and effectively alter reality?”

“Even if you’re right, you’ll have a much better chance of finding Cole if you work up a profile and try and surmise his next move."

“All right. I’ll sharpen my pencils and I’ll see you later.” I can’t help the smile that comes to my lips. She’s intelligent, challenging, sharp, quick wit.  How do you not lo… appreciate this woman?

Krycek knocked on the desk of the receptionist and I turned.

“I’ll be right there, Krycek”

“Where are you going?” As she asked, I detected a hint of jealousy towards Krycek. Hell I’d be jealous too if it were the other way around.

“We’re gonna check on another member of the squad, see if he can tell us something about Cole.”

“Sounds like your new partner is working out.”  I could tell she was feeling insecure and I should have told her there could never be another Scully.

“He’s all right; he could use a little more seasoning and some, uh, wardrobe advice, but he’s a lot more open to extreme possibilities than…"

“Than I was?”  She’s often hinted at my dislike for her challenging ways, but to me it’s all part of raising the bar.  

“...than I assumed he would be.”

“Must be nice not having someone questioning your every move, poking holes in all your theories?”  I missed her, but with me and Scully you have to read between the lines. Our dance contains a little more rock and roll.  Her questioning my every move, poking holes in my theories?  That’s sexy. That’s gratifying. That’s what keeps me awake at night.

“Oh, oh, yeah, it - it’s great. I’m surprised I put up with you for so long.”

Can’t you feel the pull between us? That’s over the phone.  Feel her smile, her warmth hugging me.  My heart was flying and it was taking me with it.   Somehow, our conversation turned from investigative to two sweethearts on the phone waiting for the other to hang up first not wanting to sever the connection.

“You better go.  I’ll, uh, read over this report again and see what else I can come up with."   As a bystander, this obvious display of affection might have been slightly nauseating, but I missed my partner and I knew she missed me.

“Okay”   That conversation, although we didn’t really say much, was probably the most laced conversation we ever had.  She ended the conversation like a kiss on the cheek and my face felt hot when I pressed that end button. It was so strong, I felt almost out of sorts going back to my surroundings.  I even had to look around to make sure no one noticed.  

There’s another part to me and Scully. A part that was lacking in me until I met her. I get so engrossed, so obsessed. If she’s not there to reel me in, I can get lost.  I mean really lost.  I don’t see things around me because my only environment is the case.  Scully would have kept X’s info safe. Scully would have picked up on Krycek and not allowed me to give up so much so fast.  She would have known I was being led. Scully is good for me.  Selfish isn’t it?

Back to Krycek.  The bastard stole my files from X and he sold me and Scully to the highest bidder.   

The days go by and next thing I know I’m being asked to assist  in a hostage situation. Only it’s all a plan, but I don’t know that yet.  All I know is they wiggled that carrot in front of me and I jumped and rolled over like the good puppy I am.  They gave me an abductee on a silver platter and I bit. Hard. As per their plan, I dragged Scully in as usual.  I dragged her in because I’m a thoughtless son of a bitch wrapped up in my own damn pursuits. Sorry, I’m in a self punishing mood right now.  Duane Barry. He had all the right answers and was just the right kind of crazy.  Scully was worried about me, worried about my state of mind.  I was worried about proof, about aliens, about my sister.  They sprinkled all the breadcrumbs to reel her in.  I was their ultimate bait.  I gave her the chip to take to ballistics.  I gave her the proof to believe because that’s my sole purpose in life and that may have cost Scully hers.

They took her from me. She got too close to the truth and they took her from me.  You have to excuse me. I told you I haven’t had much sleep.  I need a minute to collect myself.

When I got home that night I played the messages on my answering machine. It was 11:23 PM.  I know, because I’ve played that message over and over again until the tape stretched and my brain went numb.  When I heard her gasp, then the crash and the screams.  My heart was beating out of my chest to say the least.  I rushed to her apartment. I had to be going at least 90 miles an hour. Ironically enough, I saw the moon first, breaking through the trees, lighting my way.  For a brief second I tried to convince myself everything was okay. Then there were the flashing lights, the cops, the yellow tape, the broken window. After that time screeched to a halt.

My emotions couldn’t handle what my eyes were telling them, so I fell back on the only way I knew how to cope with what I was feeling.  I became the profiler. In my mind’s eye I replayed the answering message in my head. I saw him enter as my eyes gazed upon the broken window.  Saw him spy through the window, shatter the glass. The blood where he cut his hand and climbed through. That was the crash I had heard over the phone. Then her gasp as she saw him enter.  

As I entered the apartment, it looked familiar and foreign at the same time.  The other officers lurking and investigating gnawed underneath my skin.  This was Scully’s and they were intruding. Walking in on her private sanctuary.  I had been there several times now.  On the couch where we had spoken to a doctor that didn’t age. At the kitchen table where we had fought. At her desk with her looming over my shoulder.  To have those moments back right now, to have her with me.  I continued my search for clues and the intrusion of people became even more irritating. I wanted to shout, “Get out all of you, you don’t belong here.”  I wanted to kill everyone and everything. This wasn’t a crime scene, this was my friend. Instead I focused, an almost out of body experience.  I was robotic.  I saw the blood and the hair on the glass coffee table and attempted to play the scene in my head. She was screaming my name. Why didn’t I hear her call?

When I first heard her voice my stomach churned.  She sounded so much like Scully.  I knew right away it was her mother.  A lump formed in my throat as I realized what she must be going through.  Her husband dead and now her daughter taken.  Carelessly I almost got blood on her as I approached.  What she must have thought of me. Mrs. Scully told me she had a premonition. In my experience that was not that uncommon, but I wasn’t going to get into anything like that. Instead I told her the facts as I knew them.  

Since that moment, I haven’t slept and I’ve only eaten enough to keep myself functional. The only glimpse of relief I felt was when I saw her in the trunk of that car and knew she was still alive. Skinner tried to send me home, but that was a joke. I played those tapes again and again trying to get inside Duane Barry’s head. I wasn’t going to stop and finally I had a breakthrough.

When I got to that mountain, I pushed that lift as fast as it could go.  I did everything I knew how to do.  Believe me.  I played it over in my head thousands of times, but in the end, there was just too many people against me.  Too many moving parts to overcome.  They took her and I failed.  She never failed me. The worthless piece of shit I am. I failed her.

Krycek killed Duane Barry as a coverup. Duane’s lifeless body laid there with Scully’s secrets.   The military carting it away to bury the evidence.  I didn’t care anymore.  After days without sleep it stopped seeming real.  It was  the worst of nightmares. All I wanted to do was find her.  I tried to will it.  Tried to telepathically make contact.  I tried everything, but she was gone.

I became frantic, but it was only the beginning of my unraveling. When all else failed I went to the senator.  All I came across was X. After speaking with him I was certain more than ever that the government had her.  I believed she was somewhere still alive and I felt it in my blood.  

I needed them to pay.  As sure as Smoking man’s cigarettes lay in Krycek’s ashtray, I was going to bring them all down until they either took her to me or killed me.   I was pissed at the world, at myself, and as usual I took it out on Skinner even though I knew he was as powerless as I was.  He said he’d reopen the x-files.  A start, but that didn’t get Scully back.  I called Mrs. Scully to meet her, but I had no news and my heart could only go out to her. Sitting on that bench Mrs. Scully comforted me more than I could do for her. Scully has her eyes and her smile and being with her was like being with a part of Scully. As Mrs. Scully touched my hand to give back the cross I understood.  For her to keep it meant her daughter would not return, but she needed to believe she would.  If I’m being honest, I’m glad I have it.  It’s a part of her. One I don’t know very well, but just by holding it I’m starting to.  Hell, it’s got me praying, that’s something, right? I’ve stared up at the stars on countless days since she was taken.  The stars saw it all. If only I knew how to listen they could tell me how to find her.

How did I spend my days until she was returned?  I did what I always do. Scully and I know it well.  We throw ourselves into our work.  It’s the great escape.  The only thing we can dig our teeth into so we don’t have to feel or deal with our lives. So I go back to my office and it’s covered like a crime scene.  Wrapped in plastic serial killer style.  I change the months over on my “I’m attracted to women” calendar.  Like my sister before her, all I have left of Scully is an x-file.  Packed neatly in the cabinet.  The exception being her necklace.  I keep that around my neck. Her cross resting above my heart is now my cross to bear. Her glasses, her ID, now nothing but evidence.  How do I not break down? I do. Every night when I’m alone.  When darkness comes I cry until there is no more water left in my body only for the sun to remind me it’s time to return to the office.

I know you want to know why I slept with that woman. I usually don’t follow through with the live ones. I’m joking. I guess you had to see the situation through my eyes.  I have a hole inside me without Scully that can’t be filled, but I wanted to be touched, held, to feel...anything, and I wanted to give someone pleasure instead of all the shit associated with me. I never had a one night stand before. She was tempting me and I was in self-destruct mode. Part of me probably hoped she would have killed me. It wasn’t to take away the pain. I don’t feel anymore.  I’m about to get real personal with you so maybe you can understand.  Let’s talk about destructive. Since Scully has disappeared, I’ve been on a pornographic binge.  I’m seeking release 3-4 times a day.  Always has been my drug of choice. I hope you don’t think less of me. You know there are advantages to being with a chronic.  We can last as long as you need, for as many times as you’re up for it. Cut me some slack, remember, no sleep. Look, my usual indulgences usually fall into the normal range, but I do on occasion get obsessive.  Me obsessive?  Hard to believe? I use it to take away the darkness, so the darkness doesn’t take me.  It’s the only thing that stops my brain. Stops the constant punishment and loathing.  It gives me a moment of a different obsession.  Yes, I’m using the female form as an object for my own satisfaction.  Yes, it’s sad.  It’s very sad to pay someone over a phone because you don’t have the capacity to carry a relationship or a desire to pick someone up for only a night.  I don’t know if you’ve realized this or not, but I live in a world of shit.  Let’s not drag in more innocent people just to fulfill my needs. In my line of work you have a choice.  Either the work or a relationship and I’ve already said that nothing is more important to me than my work. That’s part of the sacrifice. At least until Scully. Not to mention, have you ever noticed that people who enter into a romantic relationship with myself or Scully tend to meet an untimely demise? Yeah, I’ve noticed that too. Did being with that woman make me feel better?  At the time, yeah, but right now no. Did I use a condom? Yes. I was worried about AIDS remember?  Of course I did.  In fact, I’ve never not used one. Did I think of Scully while I was with her? I never stop thinking of Scully.

I have been seeing Scully’s mother quite often. She’d tell me stories about Scully and I would listen.  I would tell her some of my own.  We’ve become rather good friends and I’m not sure where either of us would be if we didn’t have each other’s shoulder to cry on.

I was broken.  Fallen to pieces. Then one day, out of the blue, Scully was returned. 


	18. Come Back Little Scully

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scully finally awakens. Mulder seems to be evolving in this recent chapter and coming to terms with himself. We get the Mulder ugly cry in this episode, which I always loved, but I wish I could do something to heal his pain. Happy times are around the corner Mulder, I promise. For now I'll hug you and squeeze you and call you George. I know, too many Bugs Bunny cartoons as a kid.

Leading up to Scully’s return,  I was consumed and in full depression.  My weekdays and weekends were spent going through her files, re-studying for something new, some missed clue.  I hadn’t given up on Scully, but I had become one with the couch.  My fish and my basketball were quite jealous.  I was in such a state of depression, even porn wasn’t doing it for me anymore.  I had run myself raw and I was drowning, until the phone rang telling me the news. 

Scully was in a coma and no one could tell me what had been done or who had returned her. As the doctor spoke of her condition a deadly combination of rage, hate and fear boiled through my blood.  This on top of being told that I was the one that assisted signing her death sentence last year when we outlined life support criteria in her living will.

When I met her sister Melissa she was holding a crystal and telling me that Scully in her comatose state told her not to call me Fox. Melissa was quite attractive in a red dress and white lace.  She had the signature Scully red hair, but her stature indicated she was agreeable to men paying attention. 

I’m not going to lie, when I heard Scully might die, I fell apart.  I had everyone, the doctors, Beyers, X, they all said to give up, there was nothing to be done.  They were pulling the plug and I was spiraling down the drain. I couldn’t go in when they did take her off of life support. I couldn’t accept losing her. It wasn’t until my gun was pointed at the head of The Smoking Man that I realized I was losing myself along with her.  

X planned to have the ones who did this to Scully at my apartment.  So that me, with gun in hand, could play shoot ‘em up at the O.K. Corral.  When Melissa arrived unexpectedly at my doorstep she saw the violence in my soul and revenge in my heart.  Because of her I got my perspective and I did the right thing.  Instead of taking my feelings out on the world, I needed to be with Scully, giving her the support of my beliefs that she wasn’t ready to leave.  

So I sat with her and let her know everything I was feeling. I told her how much I cared. I told her what she meant to me.  I touched her hand as if to give her my energy, my strength so she may awaken. With everything I had I  willed her back into this life. I stayed with her all night and into the morning.  I didn’t leave her side until just before her family would be back to see her.

* 

Opening the door to my apartment I could see the destruction.  My apartment, like my insides, was torn to hell.  I broke once again.  The helplessness and immense sadness I felt was too much for me.

I have nothing left.  I gave it all to Scully last night.  If there are any superpowers left in me, just maybe a miracle can happen.  Just moments ago I picked myself up off the floor in another tirade of tears. I don’t know what more I could have done.  I don’t know why they would do this to her or what anything means.  I just want her back. The number to my apartment is 42.  Which as you know is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything.  It was no accident that I picked this apartment. The night she was taken, the number 4 fell off my door and I haven’t fixed it. If I did, I would imagine it would only fall again.  I alone am only half of my truth, with only half of the answer.  Scully is the other half.  Without her in the equation it all falters.    I’m out of questions.  Out of answers.  I just want Scully.

So here I sit with nothing left, holding her cross, praying for a miracle. Only alive by my body’s willingness to keep me so. She is everything and I am nothing without her. If there are miracles on this earth, let this be my one. Bring her back to me.  I won’t give up.

The phone rang and the light broke through the clouds casting itself on Mulder sitting in his meditative isolation.  “I’m here.” The strength in his voice surprised himself. On the other end, the voice of Melissa.  Dana was alive and awake.

Seeing her through the window as he walked in, his face couldn’t hide his emotions.  “Not Fox, Mulder” Scully corrected her mother. Mulder smiled at her.  Her first waking thoughts were for him and his cause.  Today, his thoughts were for her.  Even if Superstars of the Superbowls didn’t properly display his affection.  

“Mulder, I had the strength of your beliefs” Scully said as Mulder went to leave.  I had the strength of yours he thought to himself as he handed her back her cross.  He left.  He couldn’t stay.  She was with her family and simply hugging her hand was outpouring too much emotion for him.  He wanted to hold her and tell her how much he truly missed her.  Of what he had gone through.  He wanted to tell her that somehow, somewhere, in the middle of all this darkness, she had awakened his heart.  He had work to do now and it would start at the hardware store on the way home.  There was a number 42 he needed to nail to his door.


	19. Quarantine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The following takes place right before and directly after the episode "Firewalker". You know the episode where penis shaped silicon life forms spring from people's necks to spray it's seed. It's sole purpose to impregnate other lifeforms to act as it's host? And the whole time Mulder's like I will protect you Scully, the only penis I want growing inside you is mine! Too far? Yeah, I thought so, but it did make for a good image right? Anyway, at any point did they ever consider female writers?  
> If you ever wondered what they might be doing during their quarantines... here ya go. Not as exciting as it could be.

“The nurse told me Fox stayed with you all night before you woke up. You should have seen him Dana.  I never saw a man in such despair.” Melissa was at Scully’s house visiting for the weekend. They were currently in Scully’s bedroom on this cold Sunday afternoon. Melissa was sitting on the bed as she watched Scully fold clothes and prepare for the work week ahead.

Scully tilted her head to the right as she gave Melissa a doubting look and finished folding her bath towels. “We both spend a lot of time together.  We get use to having each other around. I’m sure he would have considered it a great professional and personal loss if I had not returned.”

Melissa crossed her legs as she played with the crystal around her neck shaking her head. “Dana, don’t fool yourself.  He’s in love with you. The emotions he displayed, his manic behavior, that’s more than a good friend.”

Scully, in a huff, threw her blouse back into the wicker laundry basket currently sitting on the bed next to her sister. “Why are you telling me all this Melissa?”

Melissa ran her hand over Scully’s down comforter and looked Scully in the eye. “Well, how do you feel about him?”

Scully’s arms fell to her sides as if the weight of the conversation was too much to carry. “Missy. He’s a friend and a partner.  That is all.”

Melissa looked away shaking her head. “You two are the most frustrating people.  You deserve each other.”

Scully sat on the bed next to Melissa and lightly rubbed her arm. She took a breath to calm herself. “Missy, he is passionate, but his passions don’t lie with me.  Us in a relationship would never work out.  For starters, I really don’t need to go through another office romance. We’ve been over this.   I’ve learned my lesson. They’re complicated and messy.  There’s a reason there’s a saying don’t shit where you eat. Besides all that, his crusade would eventually come between us.  I don’t want a relationship where I’m second to anything or anyone.  With Mulder, I’ll always be second.”

“You don’t know that.”  
“Oh, I do.  I know him Missy.  I’ll only get hurt.  I’m much better off looking elsewhere.  We’re good friends Missy.  That’s all we’ll ever be.  It’s all I want from him.”

“One day one of you will find someone else.  It’s inevitable. You two eventually will want actual long term romantic relationships and if they’re with other people...Then what? How are you going to handle seeing him with another woman?  You with another man?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. I agree that I need a life besides my career and Mulder. Okay?”  

“I agree he does come with the most baggage I’ve ever seen. I am concerned for you Dana. Time goes by quickly.  You should have goals for your personal life too. Don’t let life pass you by only to find yourself alone.”

*

They were stuck in a month long quarantine after their first case back together. Back together since the x-files reopened and since  Scully had returned to him.  He knew he had been overly protective on this case, but that was not his concern.  While quarantines were not the best of situations, this time he didn’t mind as much as the others.  It was a valid excuse to spend quality one on one time with Scully.  

At the present moment, they were playing through the board games they were given to keep their minds at bay while they waited out the month.  It really put the bored in board games. Mulder would rather be studying case files. Scully was too skilled for him to be a worthy opponent. Their current game was Battleship and she had already sunk his destroyer.

“B6” Scully responded with an intense look on her face.

“Miss.  H8.”

“You got me Mulder, hit.” Scully put her red peg into her cruiser. “Mulder, when we get out of here it’s important that when we’re on cases you treat me as a partner and not someone you have to protect.  I’m back and I’m committed 100%. I’m an FBI agent and that means putting your life on the line.  It’s what I signed up for.”

Mulder looked up from his board. She was right, but it didn’t change anything.  He had to get over the trauma as much as she did. “That doesn’t mean I’m not supposed to protect you or ensure your life is not put in danger unnecessarily. That is my job.”

“D7.”

“Miss…..  Scully, is it true you went out on a date with Frohike?”

“Melvin? Is that a problem for you?” Scully gave Mulder the cat that ate the canary smile and Mulder thought he was going to be sick.  

She better be pulling his leg. “Did Melissa tell you that Frohike came to the hospital with flowers, dressed to take you to the prom?”

Scully laughed. “Yes, I thought it was sweet.”

“You didn’t actually go out with him?  He said you went out on a date before…” The knot in his stomach returned. His complexion went pale. “You went out with him. Scully, I know what kind of man he is... He’s a pervert you know.”

“Takes one to know one Mulder?”  
“Yes…. If you told me Byers it might make more sense, but Frohike…?” Mulder scratched the back of his head. “Hell, I mean even I’m better..”

“You Mulder? Are you saying that you and I should go out on a date?” Scully mused playing with her white pegs.

Mulder’s stomach started doing cartwheels as he stammered. “I.. what?...Scully, we’re talking about Frohike...I mean... Isn’t that what this is?”

“This quarantine. This is you and me on a date?”   
“Why not?” Mulder held his hands out as if he was giving their sanitary month long blindingly white prison cell all to her. “This is Shangri-La. It’s secluded, meals are provided, and if we do anything that makes us dirty,  the CDC will be more than happy to clean up after us.”

Scully raised an eyebrow and simply replied, “It’s your turn Mulder.”

She had given him a doubting look, but Mulder could feel his pulse in his ears.  He wanted to say the words in the conversation he was having with her in his head - Scully, when you were gone, I came to realize that I care for you more than a partner, more than a friend…. I don’t know what it means, but I want to find out…. He would bring his lips to hers, lean in ¾ of the way, close his eyes, and wait for the warmth of her lips to brush his, her scent flooding his..

“Earth to Mulder.” Scully said waving her hand in front of his face.

“Yeah” Mulder blinked and shook his head.  What was happening?

“Where did you go? It’s your turn.”

“Right, uh, H7”

“Hit…  Mulder, I only did it to be polite. To get to know your friends better. He said you gave him my number so he could get my clinical view on government spread contagions. He said it was for some article for The Lone Gunman.  I paid for my own meal.. I would hardly call it a date.”

“Yeah, well Frohike thinks you’re his main squeeze now.” With an accent he added, “Lucy… you’ve got sum splainin’ to do.”

“Be that as it may, you’re not going to win this game Mulder, my father was a Naval Captain. F10”

“Hit.” There goes my carrier Mulder thought.  

*

“Scully you’re really serious about those pushups.”  

Scully was over by the tiny gym area and doing full pushups until exhaustion. Currently she was on 33 and quickly running out of breath.  Her arms were on fire. “When I get out of here I have a physical evaluation with the bureau to ensure I’ve maintained the requirements of an agent.”

“They’re making you take a fitness test?” Mulder was sitting at the weight bench as more of an onlooker to Scully than actually working out himself.

“Yup.  It’s fine.  It’s for my own safety and it keeps me focused on my health regimen.  I’ve got jumping jacks to do next.  You want to count me out?”  

“How about a competition?  See who can last longer? What else to we have to do?”

Scully stopped her pushups deciding that 40 was enough for the day and started her stretches. “Not today.  I’m still not completely 100%”

After jumping jacks Scully hopped over to the treadmill for a run.  Mulder either got inspired or bored, because he went over to the bench press and lifted weights while she ran.

After an hour on the treadmill, Scully sat down on Mulder’s cot rubbing her feet. “That treadmill is really hard on your feet.” She explained.

“Are you running in heels?” Mulder was lying beneath her on the floor doing crunches.

“No. Why would I run in heels on a treadmill?”

“Maybe that’s the problem, maybe your feet are so accustomed to heels they need them to maintain that arch.”

“There’s no data to suggest wearing heels can be good for the foot.  Although, it does stimulate the calf muscles.”

“I can rub them if you like.”

Scully wrinkled her nose and scrunched up her face. “Mulder, I’m not letting you touch my feet.”

“Why?  I’ll let you touch mine.” Mulder said shaking his left foot at her.

“I’m definitely not touching your feet.”

“Do you have something against feet Scully?  Do you consider foot rubs an intimate action?

“No.”

“So hand them over.” Mulder said pretending to grab her foot.  She quickly tucked it under her and out of reach.

He got up and took one of the basins filling it with warm water. He added Epsom salt. Grabbing a hand towel, he flipped it over his shoulder and kneeled down at Scully’s feet sitting back on his heels. He brought the basin underneath her and dropped the towel in the salt solution. He looked up at her and motioned for her to fork over a foot. “My mother has circulation issues. I’ve done this before.  It helps.”

She smiled.  She was well aware of the treatments for sore tired feet, but she remained silent as he bathed them. Meticulously, he used the towel to rub her heels and the balls of her feet.  Quickly, Scully found herself in a hypnotic euphoric trance. He was good, so good she caught herself moaning a couple times, but he pretended not to notice. When he felt she was comfortable enough, Mulder removed the towel and used his thumbs, marching across the bottom of her feet using her facial cues to find tender spots. When he found one he would gently work at it.  “Let me know when it stops hurting.” He said.  His expression serious and clinical. “Wiggle your foot and tell me if that feels better.”

Scully wiggled her foot. This was the side of Mulder that came out when he was around young children or woman in distress.  The caring, nurturing side and today it was directed at her and she wasn’t sure she wanted it to stop. “It feels a lot better Mulder.  Thank you. If you get tired of the supernatural you can always take up a job as a massage therapist.”

He grinned and nodded his head, but quickly resumed his work, repeating the process across the top of her foot, around her ankles and toes looking for trigger points. The flat pads of his fingers were smooth and strong along her delicate skin.

She rotated her food again. It was a noticeable difference. She had definitely gained back flexibility and her pain had subsided.

“Do they have you seeing the work psychologist?” Mulder asked referring to her recovery program from the abduction.

“Yes, It’s mandatory.  I’ve already passed the psych evaluation. The woman they’ve assigned me to is very competent and I feel comfortable speaking with her. The program is not as bad as I thought it would be. It may actually be helping.”He continued soaking her feet resuming running the hot towel over her ankles and calf muscles. If he didn’t stop soon she was going to have to pay him.

“I’m glad it’s working out.” Mulder smiled warmly.  “How are your feet?  Did I pass?”

“Mulder you did more than pass. That  was incredible. Thank you.”

*

Another week in the books and Mulder was doing everything but climbing the walls.  Skinner had sent over paperwork to keep them busy most of the day. When they weren’t working they practiced tactical moves and strategies in self defense.  By the end of the day they were down to thumb wrestling. There was plenty to read and they did well keeping up with their exercise regimen, but Mulder was not the kind to be caged. He dug through the pile of board games for about the tenth time. With the exception of Stratego, they had played all of them at least once. As he lifted  the checkerboard he noticed a nerf ball lying on the ground.  Excitement rose inside him.  He would be bored no longer.  He busied himself setting up the garbage cans and organizing a playing field.  Scully watched from the sidelines on his cot reading a novel.  During the day they always seemed to use each other’s cots rather than their own, although at night they retired to their own sectioned parts of the room. Mulder didn’t put too much thought into why she did it.  He knew that he enjoyed laying on a pillow that her head had previously rested on or sheets that smelled of her. It was a way to be close to her without coming off as a deviant.

“20 seconds on the clock Scully.” Mulder said as he pretend dribbled his nerf ball. “Tied score. Knicks got the ball.” Mulder was re-enacting the play from his imagination for Scully to witness in all its glory. “He fakes right, fakes left, goes for the layup and ….” The ball careened off the edge of the wastebasket. Mulder feigned disappointment as he whined. “Come on Scully.  Play with me.  I need the practice.”

Scully let the book fall to her chest and let out an exasperated sigh. “Mulder, you realize I am trying to read.”  Mulder protruded his bottom lip and sulked. It wasn’t fair.  He knew she could never say no to him. “Oh, alright. How do I play?”

Mulder explained the game like there would be a referee and tickets sold. “We can play a game of HORSE.  I’ll put down markers. We stand at each marker to shoot. If you miss you get a letter. First one to spell out HORSE loses.”

Scully must have been off today because four games later Mulder was beating her 3 to 1.  “One more Scully.  You can’t give up yet.”

“Don’t you ever get tired Mulder?”

“No.  What do you mean?”

“Nothing. Throw the ball.”

Mulder tossed Scully the ball and she took her shot landing it in the wastebasket.  She picked it out and tossed it back to Mulder.  Scully, now bored, decided to make it interesting.  He went to take his shot and she went for a block.  As the ball left his fingertips she made contact and the ball bounced away from the basket.  “Scully that’s cheating.”

“I don’t remember you specifying that there was no blocking when you laid out your rules Mulder.” Scully put her hands on her knees in the ready position. Now they were going to have some fun.

“I don’t think that’s the way you really want to play Scully.”

“Bring it on Mulder.” Scully went to take her shot and Mulder covered her like an octopus.  His height gave him an overwhelming advantage, but she took a low hook shot and managed to land it.  Shooting was much easier for him as well as he simply held the ball above his head as she jumped failing to reach much above his elbows. On a last ditch effort during her turn she attempted running under his legs and he tackled her.  They both fell to the floor as she giggled trying to keep the ball away from him as he tore it from her hands. She climbed on top of him and pinned him to the ground. His right arm was fully extended with the ball in his palm as her body covered his upper half. Her chest crushed into his nose giving him an eyeful, her hand just out of reach of the ball.  As they wrestled around on the floor the door opened and they both looked up, freezing in place, to find a military man with a shocked expression staring down at them. They quickly got up and attempted to fix their disheveled appearances.  Mulder tossed the ball into his basket as Scully stood at attention.

“Agent Scully, Agent Mulder.  The quarantine has been lifted.  We have received the signatures from the proper authorities and after a final physical examination you are free to leave.”

They nodded in excitement.  It was good news.  The man left, but not before giving them a couple more strange looks.

“You don’t think he thought we were…..” Scully looked at Mulder wearily.

Mulder shook his head. “Nah..You think?”  

*

They finished packing up their equipment and Mulder set his bags down waiting for Scully. “Are you going to miss sleeping with me Scully?”

Without looking up she continued zipping up her bag and answered. “No, because I’m always sleeping with you Mulder.  Every assignment, all that separates you from me is a thin wall where I can hear you, showering, watching your favorite channels, sleeping...among other things.”

Mulder picked up her bag and she opened the door for him to walk through. “Yeah, I can hear you too, sometimes you get pretty carried away with your other things…” Mulder pursed his lips and chewed on the inside of his mouth.

They went to the desk and signed their release forms.  The guards held the doors so they could walk out of the building.  “Mulder...What other things are you referring to?....Mulder?….”

Mulder smiled walking half a stride ahead of her. He had never actually heard anything, but he liked getting under her skin.  It wasn’t the way she was under his, but it would do.

“What other things?....Mulder!”


	20. Mad Cow, Shrooms, a BJ, and Leslie Neilson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three cases. "Red Museum", "Excelsis Dei", and "Aubrey". What the hell is Mulder doing?

Red Museum

Is it wrong to date someone without their knowledge?  Did she notice I was wearing one of my good suits? Mulder pondered while watching Scully down another rack of ribs. Why did it matter that the Bureau was paying for it?   Mulder knew that even if Scully was open to any advances he might throw her way, dating wasn’t practical.  Just as Superman’s foes chose to capture Lois Lane any chance they could get, Scully as a love interest would only prove to awaken more predators.  That was a risk Mulder was not willing to take.  Yet he reached out and wiped the sauce from her face all the same. She didn’t even flinch. The connection made his nerves rattle as she smiled at him.  What he was feeling wasn’t along their normal wavelength.  It wasn’t physical either.  He wanted to be around her, enjoy her, appreciate her. The current was strong, but he wasn’t going to fool himself into thinking she shared those feelings. At the same time he felt himself growing on her like a bad rash.  She told him she had gotten the creeps and she didn’t even believe in them. It didn’t help that she was growing more beautiful every day. Besides, who didn’t want a woman who was willing to strap on a feed bag and down a rack of ribs? He would be prepared next week for her to bring in bean sprouts and wheatgrass, but tonight he’d watch her suck those bones dry.  Tonight in a cozy booth they would share dinner and spirited spiritual conversation.

When they arrived at the Motor Lodge Mulder requested an extra key so she wouldn’t have to bother to wait for him to unlock a door before she could enter.  Hesitantly she gave him hers in return.  After that they eased in and out of each other’s rooms without a thought or a knock. Possibly, as a result, their deductions flowed together as if off an assembly line. They were focused and consumed by the case at hand.  It had them stumped longer than usual. Of course until they discovered the meat was tainted with purity control.

He hadn’t told Scully that he was heading back to the slaughter facility to hunt down Deep Throat’s killer. He knew the henchman would be there to clean up all traces of evidence and proof.  Mulder wanted to be one step ahead and at the same time keep Scully safe.  This was personal.  The man had killed a true friend and he owed it to Deep Throat for his death not to be in vain.  Despite his secretiveness, when Mulder heard the police he knew Scully had figured out his plan.  Mulder was left frustrated again.  The man without an identity lay dead on the floor, but that provided little justice for the crimes he had committed. The case remained opened and unsolved for lack of evidence even though yesterday the proof was abundant.

Thick white smoke sauntered from the office as X stepped inside.  “Your assassin is dead.” He said it matter-of-factly.  “Gunned down by either the police or Mulder. I’m sure Mulder took much pleasure in watching the man who put the final bullet in his friend die.”

Smoke billowed from the head of the talking monster in the corner. “That’s a shame.  He was good at his job. Krycek will need to be ready to carry the extra load.”

“Correct me if I’m stepping over the line, but did we close that experimental site solely due to Mulder’s inquiry?”

The Smoking Man put out his cigarette and lit another. “This is about focus and control.  Proper management.  There are too many satellite testing sites and it’s time we consolidated.  Too many hands in the cookie jar.  I’m tightening the reigns.  The purity control experiments in that town would not have taken us any farther to completion. The exposure only proved increased violence and psychosis.  Not much different than the Eve’s. Introduction at the first stages of an organism or through a series of operations will prove better results. Inoculations and exposure are too simple for something so complex.  In any case, I now have sole control of the tissue and I have ultimate direction over the project.  We will increase our sample sizes as we decrease testing sites. We need more merchandise. The others will soon come to see the executioner is also the ruler.”

X turned and walked from the room.  His predecessor had been correct.  This man’s logic would cause Hitler to flinch.   

Excelsis dei

“Mulder, mushrooms aren’t medication, they taste good on hamburgers, but they don’t raise the dead”

It was early Wednesday morning, no later than 9AM when Mulder strolled into the office to find Scully perched on his chair staring at the television connected to the VCR.  The initial thought sent a rush of blood between his thighs. Some days ago he had popped his goto tape in the VCR to find it rewound.  He never rewound it. It was always cued to his favorite scenes, but that tape and another he found rewound and neatly stacked in the drawer.  Neater than he did anyway.  The image of Scully in the office alone, indulging in a salacious act, was unbelievably erotic.  It was dirty and he loved it, but it added a layer of shared intimacy that it was his collection she chose from.  Was she excited by those same fantasies while she sat in his chair possibly leaving DNA evidence of the deed? Her delicate fingers rummaging through his drawers and into the darkness of his depraved imagination. He would save that thought for later. Another recollection quickly dampened his mood.  The last tape in that VCR was of a redhaired fair skinned woman that had a remarkable resemblance to his partner.  What if she noticed? Hell, she would have noticed.  That would not be good.  Not the way he was feeling about her lately. He didn’t want her thinking that was the depth of it.

“Whatever tape you found in that VCR, it isn’t mine”

“Good because I put it back in that drawer with all those other videos that aren’t yours.”  Whew.  The look on her face, flirtatious and fun, showed no signs that she had pressed play on that particular tape.  Unless she had and she liked it…. When he looked at the screen all his ponderings dissipated as a brutally battered woman was on it.  Snuff porn was not his scene.

The woman on the tape was claiming to have been raped by a spiritual being.  He had found plenty of x-files on this subject.  An act as traumatic as rape, made it not uncommon for women to repress  the memory of a rapist’s face.  He believed the trip to be a huge waste of time, but he did it out of respect for Scully. If she wanted to follow through, he would support her just as she did with him.

Mulder took great amusement in watching Scully being flashed by a 74 year old and even more that the man felt it necessary to apologize to him for hitting on her. Lucky for Mulder, today he brought his tennis racket.  But when she lobbed over the possibilities of a rape caused by a 74 year old schizophrenic or implications that the building was haunted, he let that ball dribble right past him. Scully believed it might be the walls lined with fungus causing behavioral and hallucinogenic issues. Usually, he was the one that wanted to stay and he didn’t think there was anything to any of it, but if he had learned anything this past year is that he had to listen and respect scully’s opinion more.   Scully was correct concerning the mushrooms, although it was done purposefully. A weird ending to an even weirder case. He was more than happy when they found their way back to D.C.

Aubrey

“I guess that’s why we’re going to Aubrey.”

“Yes and I’ve always been intrigued by women named B.J.”

Mulder could hear Beavis and Butthead laughing in his head.  Her name’s B.J.  Huh, huh, huh, huh.  Yeah, thas kewl. Heh, heh, heh, heh. Now if only I could solve the mystery of morning wood I could rule the world. Heh, Heh Heh.

Scully was still staring into the abyss with a “you’ve got to be kidding me” look. For a brief second as he turned with coffee in hand, the look made him freeze in place. She wasn’t reading his mind was she? Then he relaxed.  She was still fussing over the B.J. comment. If he knew that would be her reaction he would have brought it up sooner.

Scully appeared comfortable using one of their motel rooms to troubleshoot. Mulder looked up from the couch he was sprawled out on and watched her lounging on his designated bed for the night.  Calm and relaxed they rehashed the case throwing out theories and facts. She crossed her legs leaning with one arm on the bed. It was mildly distracting and he ignored the images in the back of his mind.

That night in the dark he could hear Scully through the walls rustling about. He never noticed before, but since the day she had mentioned it he was now acutely aware.  The sound comforted him to sleep. In his dreams she entered his room and shared the bed with him, but this wasn’t a sexual dream. They didn’t even kiss.  She held him, consoled him, telling him it would be alright, that she would never leave him.  When he woke he knew it was his subconscious need to be close, maybe fearful of losing her again?  It affected him nonetheless. The case was a good distraction.  Interesting and riddled with unanswered questions.  His brain exercising muscles that had been dormant.  He didn’t want to think or deal with anything else.  What could he do about it?  She was still in  recovery and he was determined to protect her. Stirring in his mind remained the thought, if dreams were answers to questions we haven’t figured out how to ask then what question was he asking of himself and Scully?

Scully had misgivings in her mind as well. Trying to allow BJ the forum to confide in her she spoke of having had feelings for people she had worked with.  She tried to convince herself she was referring to Daniel or Jack, but Mulder seemed to flash in the mix for reasons she dared not face. Interoffice relationships could be complicated she had said out loud. Was she speaking to BJ or herself?

She wasn’t clairvoyant, but Scully’s intuition honed in on the fact that BJ and Tillman were sleeping together and BJ was pregnant. Scully’s intuition was dead on balls accurate.  Mulder was impressed with her deductions and her abilities to elicit candor from her suspects.

For the first time since Scully’s return he found himself in her arms as she tended to his wounds.  Getting hit with an oxygen tank or having a knife at his throat wasn’t a dream scenario, but her hands through his hair and his head in her lap as she hugged him was something he lacked during her disappearance. He was grateful to have it back.

During the airplane ride home Mulder chose the bag of peanuts over his standby sunflower seeds.  Currently, he was pilfering Scully’s. They were still contemplating implications of the case as Scully typed notes into her laptop. Mulder extrapolated on the idea. “What if we went as far as to say our genes were preprogrammed with whom we would fall in love with?”

“Somehow, that thought seems frightening.” Scully replied as her fingers busied across the keyboard. “Are you saying in the future, courting will consist of merely running a test of your DNA? To discover who you are the most compatible with would require simply running results through a databank? So much for romance.”

Mulder popped another peanut and gulped his Coke.  “I’m talking about looking to DNA to predict your future. If you entertain the notion of reincarnation, maybe you have in your DNA receptors the history of those lives and you take them with you.  So if their was such a thing as soulmates  it’s recorded in that DNA.”

“Okay Mulder, but what of inherited genes and environmental factors?  Wouldn’t that impact who you fall in love with?”

“Yes, but we’re talking soulmates, those that travel with us, as we evolve towards enlightenment.” Mulder’s mind was on a roll making the airplane not the only thing in the clouds.

“That would make for an interesting personal ad Mulder.”

The pilot came over the speakers asking the flight attendants to prepare for landing.  Scully put away her laptop placing her tray table and seat in the upright and locked position.  Mulder was still acting strange, like he had something personal he wasn’t ready to share.  Whatever it was she was certain would come out sooner or later.  A frightening thought came to her as the plane touched down and her ears popped.  With all the experiments they’ve uncovered with purity control and gene tampering, what if they tampered with her DNA? What if Mulder was correct and in doing so altered her own predisposition, the map to her own past lives and record of her soulmate?

The tires touched terra firma and the jolt made her grab the armrest. Mulder’s hand was already there and she squeezed the top of his hand by mistake.  His thumb caressed the ulnar border of her hand and her body immediately relaxed.  He smiled at her. “You can breath now.  We’re on the ground.”

Back in another rental car, with another little tree with black ice scent swinging from the rear view mirror, Mulder mustered up some courage.  He glanced at the time. “Scully, we’ve got nothing to do for a few hours, why don’t we grab a movie?”

Scully looked surprised, then contemplated and shrugged. She had nothing better planned. “What movie?”

“The new Star Trek movie is out...or Stargate.”

“Star Trek? With you? No.”

Mulder tightened his grip on the steering wheel and let out a breath.“Okay, do you have any suggestions?”

They pulled up to the theater and glanced at the times through the window of the car.

“What about Natural Born Killers?" Mulder suggested.

"Sounds like the case we just came from.” Scully tossed back.

“I’ve got it.” Mulder said as he pulled into a spot. They walked up to the box office and Mulder handed cash to the man behind the window.  “Two please for Naked Gun 33 1/3.”

Scully gave him a displeased look.  

“What?  You can buy the popcorn.” He replied.

They stepped inside and got on line for popcorn and drinks.  “I don’t know how much you’ll like this movie Mulder, there are no redheads.”

Mulder felt his entire body blush.  She had played the tape in the VCR. She knew. The heat at his collar was so severe it caused him to loosen his tie. “I’ve got a thing for Jessica Rabbit” He said dryly, “.....And the uh… Little Mermaid.”

Desperately trying to change the subject he stepped up to the counter and ordered the popcorn and drinks.  He wasn’t concerned with who payed for what anymore.  He just wanted to get into the theater fast and bury himself in a seat in the dark.  He tried to make light of the situation. “Want anything else?  Twizzlers, Tootsie Roll, Bomb Pop?”

Scully looked from the top corner of her eye and squinted like she was in deep thought, but her smile was torturing him. “Bomb pop?  Interesting...but, I’ll stick with Snowcaps.”

“I understand. You’re an old fashioned girl.”

“Sometimes.”  

“Hey, how many pumps of fake butter you want on the popcorn?”

“None.”

“Really? Okay, I guess I can eat it that way.” He surmised that her preference must be the result of eating all those calorie laden ribs. She took the box of Snowcaps and the drink off the glass counter and walked away. He scooped up the rest and double timed to catch up.

Once they picked out their seats, middle row towards the back, Scully was the first to speak. “It’s been some month.  Running into Deep Throat’s killer, you almost drowning in one case and coming close to having your throat slashed in another..”

“Like you said, our lives are always in danger.” Mulder threw some popped kernels into his mouth. The popcorn was okay, but he missed his tongue becoming saturated with buttery goodness with every bite.  

“I know, and I know most of the time you willfully throw yourself in a situation without much thought to consequences.”

“If you believe in something as strong as I do, you have to be willing to risk everything.  I’ve already resided in sacrificing myself to this cause.  It’s what I believe in.”

“That’s very noble of you Mulder. “ She reached into the bucket at the same time as he did and their hands brushed each others. Mulder closed his eyes and savored the moment.  Who needs butter.

Scully picked out two pieces of popcorn with her right hand from the pile currently sitting in her left. “To think of those Alzheimer's patients.. to have your memories and cognitive abilities ripped from you…. To look at someone and not recall their face or all you’ve been through…”

“I’d remind you every day if I had to…” Mulder replied.  His heart was in his throat.

Scully’s face contained a solemn expression. “I’ve been thinking about what you said recently about if one of us were to meet our end and I,.. I want you to know that…. Well…. I wouldn’t want to imagine a world without you… with another partner….”

His eyes softened as his brow furrowed. The actions he chose to take with his life affected her whether he liked the thought of that or not.  It was something he often forgot. “That’s nothing to concern yourself with… If anything like that were ever to happen... you know I would come back and haunt you every chance I got.”

Scully put her head down playing with the end of her suit jacket. “I’m sure you’d get distracted...find some angel conspiracy to expose and run after.”

Mulder smiled. “I suppose, but it wouldn’t be heaven without you there to challenge my ways and prove my theories.”

“I knew I should have worn boots.” He was laying it on thick, but he meant it.

It was surreal to be nervous around Scully, but he couldn't deny the flutter in his chest or the warm glow in his heart. Mulder looked over at the screen. “The previews are starting…” He crossed his legs and shifted trying to settle in. Absentmindedly his arm fell around her chair.  When he realized what he had done he whispered, “Is it okay if I rest my arm?”

“It’s okay.” Scully smiled reassuringly.

Mulder spent the rest of the movie slowly allowing his arm to “accidentally” lean on her shoulder while his fingers skimmed hers in the popcorn bucket. Oh, yeah, the movie was pretty good too.


	21. The Devil Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The episode is "irresistible" and there's a lot going on. Mulder is trying to sort out his feelings, solve a case, and keep tabs on what Scully might be hashing out in her life, all while attempting to keep abreast of the latest in sports. Scully is dealing with everything thrust upon her this past year, the FBI boys club, as well as the bits of girl that keep popping up in the Minneapolis area. All of this culminating to a matter of trust and acceptance. It's one thing to be there for someone, it's another to allow them to be there for you. To depend on it. Our dear Moose and Squirrel are learning to lean on each other.

_ “I trust him as much as anyone, I trust him with my life.” _

_ “It’s easier to believe in aliens and UFOs than the monsters as human.” _

Scully twirled the strands of hair covering her forehead as her elbow rested on the arm of the couch.  Her legs curled up underneath her, it was comfortable for a woman of her stature.  Her mind was shut off yet she felt overly introspective staring into space cloaked by the darkness.  Soft music filled her ears and drowned out the outside. A cherry blossom candle masked the air. She had always treasured time alone. Away from everyone else’s reality, captivated by her own. A whirlwind had followed her return.  Only a week after her release from the hospital and the FBI psychologist, she had returned to work.  It was what she wanted, to push forward.  It made her ask herself if she was pushing forward or simply running.  Sometimes it felt like she was running to get back to her empty apartment.  It was calm and safe and structured.  Away from judging eyes. Away from the concerns of other people even if it was for her well being.  It was a fortress she controlled and she built.  Inside she needed no one.

*

“Mulder I got you the tickets as requested.  These are good seats, 40 yard line. I didn’t realize Agent Scully was so into football.” Byers said handing Mulder the tickets.  Langly and Frohike were off playing D&D at a friend’s house so The Lone Gunman’s lair was silent and empty.

“Of course she is. I think.”

“Mulder, have you and Agent Scully spoken about her ordeal? How is she doing?”

“She’s Scully.  She powers through.”

“It was traumatic for you as well Mulder. I’m sure it was emotional to see your partner go through so much.”

“Byers, it’s a football game.  Same as if I was taking you.”

“We haven’t been seeing a lot of you lately and when you are here you’re constantly staring at your phone like you’re waiting for a call.”

“I didn’t realize you guys were so jealous. Thanks for the tickets.” Mulder replied and snuck out the door.

Byers was right that he had been monopolizing a lot of Scully’s time, but he enjoyed being around her.  Was his current attraction misplaced feelings about her abduction? Can’t a guy see a football game with his partner?  It was innocent. What was wrong with sharing an outing three hours away, without asking her or acknowledging whether she did or did not like football? Oh. Then again he knew she would have turned him down either way, but he really wanted to go.  And what if he did fawn all over her during the game, what if he was silently pursuing her, what was wrong with exploring another side to their relationship? 

*

Mulder took note of the look on Scully’s face as they walked from the gravesite of the desecrated body.  He was genuinely concerned, but taken slightly by surprise.  Given her work in forensics he thought she might be immuned to such things.  As a passing thought he guessed he always viewed Scully as impenetrable.

She looked at him incredulously. He had prepared himself before they left, but didn’t prepare her.  Three hours on a plane to investigate a necrophiliac with mommy issues that collected hair and fingernails like baseball cards; all so he could attend a football game? She couldn’t pinpoint why the case had this much of an affect on her, but his ulterior motives gave more than pause and an eyebrow raise.  If there was an attitude in the car it was his and that was unfeeling and callous.  She took a breath to slow herself down and stopped trying to hold it against him.  It was Mulder and his usual thoughtful thoughtlessness.  They would go to the game and have fun as they always did around each other.  This case would be long forgotten.

*

How wrong she had been. A few hours later they were in Agent Bocks’ office missing the game and discussing another desecrated gravesite.

Mulder frowned as Scully hurriedly left the FBI office and his instinct was to go after her, but professional respect held him to the case.  He continued with Agent Bocks occasionally distracted by the football game. Since they were now missing it he kind of wanted them to lose. It played as background noise to remind him of what the day could have been with him and Scully.  

He said that he was going to cancel the flight out which was what she expected and feared.  She wanted to be back in D.C. and away from this case.  Her whole body was tense with stress, yet she had no true comprehension of her repulsion.  It was unusual for her not to be able to distance herself. In classic style she pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, wrote up the profile and documented the research. 

*

It was the first killing. The corpse laid there, previously a life not asking for death.  Hair and nails missing, this time also a finger. A Knife wound the length of the torso.  As Bocks went into the details, images flashed through her mind.  But it wasn’t the images, but the emotions that affected her. The fear, the outrage, the helplessness, the inevitability of it all.   Could any man take any woman and force them to succumb to their wishes? Scully assured herself that with her skill and intelligence that wasn’t the case.

*

They went to inspect the body for clues and Mulder turned as he felt his partner pause.  “I need a minute.” was her reply.  He simply nodded his head, but didn’t acknowledge how much this was bothering her.  Observing her stifle her own emotions made it near impossible to hold his own. It was her decision and he didn’t want to come off as overprotective, so he stayed supportive. Quietly and patiently waiting for her to reach out for him. 

The autopsy of this body was different than any she had done. There was always a distance, a detachment. This investigation told a story of a woman being reduced to an object in the most dehumanizing sense.  It was a person with feelings and desires, ambition and intellect.  A monster choosing to reduce her to a possession, a doll. A plaything for his sexual gratification and a keepsake to add to his collection of young attractive women. 

Mulder stuck to his work and delve into the case, relying on Scully to know what was best for her. He was relieved to know she was heading back to D.C. to work from there. He respected her, knew she was independent and capable. Why couldn’t she open up to him? He understood it was not the easiest to stomach. Did she think that made her less of an agent?   It was not something to be ashamed of, it meant she was human, compassionate. If that was the way she wanted it he would support her in the shadows. He reached out and touched her for reassurance thinking that maybe a reminder of their connection could get her to lean on him.

Back in D.C. she justified that she wasn’t lying to her partner because it was logical for her to do the investigation there.  She didn’t want to be thought of as less than. She cringed to think that others may believe because she was a woman she couldn’t handle the case. If he could do it, she could do it. Buck up Starbuck. She heard her mother quoting Charlotte Whitton in her head. Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. 

She went to look at the lab results and was confronted with yet another man with that look in his eyes.  It made her uneasy now, uncomfortable.  It’s never just about the job. Never about being a person, always reduced to an object. If the FBI was a man’s world, she wasn’t afraid to stand and prove her worth. 

She went to the EAP. Being mature and self-aware, she acknowledged the need to discuss this problem in order to overcome it.  When they were through, she felt like it helped. On the airplane back to Minneapolis she cataloged her thoughts. The relationship dynamic between her and Mulder had always been one of equal footing.  If she allowed him in, her fear was he might turn her into a project he needed to fix.  Every time they were on a case he would be looking out of the corner of his eye trying to protect her, another woman he would have to save. She wanted to save the damsel in distress, not be the damsel in distress. Exposing her feelings might make her weaker. It wasn’t only him she had to convince, but herself. Her role in life was to protect the innocent and provide a pathway to justice.  The Social worker had been correct.  She hadn’t spent much time on her father’s death or her abduction.  Or allowed herself release of any emotion. Underneath all that she had another fear.  One her sister had uncovered.  If she did rely on him, if she needed him, what would happen when he had to follow his own path.  One that did not include her.  Would she be able to deal with the loss when that time came?

He was hoping she was staying in D.C., but she was determined and stubborn. One more time he tried to get her to open up, but he knew he was getting close to overstepping the line.

“I know this is a pretty horrific case, but if…”

“I’m okay with it Mulder. Anyway you could use my help.”

“Always.”

When Scully didn’t show Mulder was concerned.  He didn’t know what to think.  Was this another abduction by the powers that be?  Was she lying in a ditch dead from a car crash?  It wasn’t like her to be out of contact even if it was like him to be.  When they went to the crash site Mulder got that feeling in the pit of his stomach.  Duane Barry echoed in his head, but he quickly swallowed it down.  He was going to find her.  She was dragged into this case because of his unsolicited intentions.  He cleared his brain of every other thought and focused on the case, the clues, the intent.   

“You know people videotape police beatings on darkened streets. They manage to spot elvis in three cities across america every day, but no one saw a pretty woman being forced off the road in her rental car.”

Tied and bound Scully witnessed the devil within the man, but she was never going down without a fight.  Every move he made she calculated a possible way to get out, a way to kill him.  He called her girly girl as she hid, like some child weak and nimble.  It fueled her to power on and kick his ass. Down the stairs they went, and as they struggled, Mulder busted in.  She was relieved, but she still wanted to save herself. Embarrassment filled her. How did it look, an FBI agent as a victim exposed and vulnerable, allowing themselves to be captured.

Though she did her best to hide it, Mulder saw her shaking. Was it something he did that caused her to be this closed off or the simple need for independence drove this deep inside her? He was looking for her eyes taking in the scrapes on her chin and the bruises among her face.  The distance she had created made him want to cry.  This was not her fault. He had put her in this position of vulnerability.  He needed her to lean on him.  He needed her to need him.  Why wouldn’t she share her feelings? He lifted her chin gently and gave her their connection. As soon as their eyes met she transformed. The tears fell as she let it out.. 

Let out her need for unwavering independence, the need to not disappoint her partner, to not be a burden, and her need to carry it all on her shoulders for fear she could be looked at as weaker, not capable. Two friends held each other in a horror house while everyone zoomed around busy with their jobs. Her arms clung to him tightly as he absorbed all her pain. She was strengthened by his arms, his hand through her strands. “It’s alright”.  It was permission to feel. His body and coat he used as a shield to the law enforcement surrounding them and with his arm around her they left the house.  He checked them back into the motel.  They weren’t leaving tonight. 

In the car heading back to the motel, it had started to rain.  Scully stared into the street with her head against the hard cold window. Mulder hadn’t realized how much they had tiptoed around each other or how shallow their conversations had become.

“Scully, you have no reason to feel embarrassed.” 

“You don’t know what I’m feeling Mulder.” 

“I want to.” He replied sheepishly.

Why didn’t he just leave me be, she thought as she watched the rain gather on the wiper only to be brushed away and build again. She was aware of her hands shaking in her lap. She wanted to be back home.  Just let me do my work, just let me get passed this and onto the next. I don’t want to slow down and I don’t need to think.  I am not someone to save and not someone that needs protection. 

After 15 more minutes of silence Mulder spoke again. “Do you think I don’t cry?”

Scully sighed.  Oh God, please don’t do this Mulder.  Don’t make this into a thing.

“Do you think I didn’t cry when you were gone? When I thought I might lose you? Scully you are incredibly strong.  Beyond your own knowledge.”

Scully was relieved to see them pull up to the motel so she could stop this conversation. She wasted no time getting out and closing the door. “I’ll see you in the morning Mulder.” 

He got out and called for her. “Scully, how about we get changed and washed up… I’ll order a pizza...  Meet you in my room in an hour?”

“I would rather be by myself right now..”

“Scully, I really don’t want to eat pizza alone.  Especially one with mushrooms and pepperoni..”

She stopped in her tracks and turned. “Pepperoni?”

Mulder nodded his head. He knew how much she loved her toppings.

She wasn’t turning down free pizza.  One quick slice couldn’t hurt and she hadn’t eaten all day. “Okay. If you make it a supreme.”

Two slices into their pizza and Mulder was fidgeting. Picking up the remote, he started surfing.  A couple news stations were televising the arrest and he quickly pressed the button on the remote, but the channel failed to change.  He gave the remote a good whack and pressed the button again, the television finally responding.  There was nothing on worth watching.  His patience was wearing thin and his frustration was building.  They were eating in silence. The short cry she had before simply forgotten. He didn’t want it to be like this. At arm’s length not being able to confide in each other. Close Encounters of the Third kind was playing the scene with the abduction of the little boy. He tried to change the channel, but the batteries in the remote had gone dead.  On the television screen the screws were coming loose on the air vents as alien lights shone through. His fingers frantic at the buttons of the dead remote. Mulder saw red. Out of rage he threw the remote and it crashed against the wall. It was Duane Barry, it was her fighting for her life, it was Donnie Pfaster, it was the unknown tests, it was the constant unspoken tension between the two of them. With the boy’s mother still screaming inside the t.v. and the aliens fast approaching, he picked up the television in fury, lifting it above his shoulders, one way or another he was turning off this station. Sparks shot from the plug as it tore from the socket. Scully screamed and his heart froze him in place.  He dropped the t.v. back on the dresser and leaned over the top of it, teardrops falling off his cheek onto the fake plastic woodgrain.  Her footsteps came closer as her hand felt heavy on his shoulder.  His nerves on edge; was honesty too much to hope for?  He looked up with bloodshot eyes, and saw tears shedding from her own.  She held out her arms and he embraced her, her fingers threading through his hair.  Holding her tight, crying into the top of her shoulder, he gasped for breath. Her arm was tightly clamped around his torso and he wasn’t letting go of her either. Energy flowed forth and came back through one another.  Finally releasing all the months of pent up anguish. Closing the chasm between them, devotion repairing the fears and the loss. When the tears tapered off he straightened his posture and closed his eyes tight squeezing her. 

She spoke into his chest. “Mulder, we have to get better at talking because I can’t take much more crying.” 

He let out an exasperated laugh which she returned. They were exposed in pure naked emotion. Neither of them had ever dared to let anyone in, but now their souls shone bare to one another. There was an absurdity to two agents bawling like children. As much as he had wanted her confidence in him, he had needed their bond. They released each other and he plugged the t.v. back in and switched to an old black and white movie.  Heading towards the bed he sat down on top of the sheets, scooted across and patted the bed on the area beside him.  He smiled without a word, extending his hand as an olive branch.  They sat side by side with their arms slightly brushing against one another watching some old detective movie. Eventually, they fell asleep in the dark, t.v. blaring, sitting up against the headboard. Her head dipped to one side, slumped on his shoulder and his head stacked on top of hers.  



	22. Witchcraft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These little shorts are around the time of the episodes "Die Hand die Verletzt" and "Fresh Bones"

_Die Hand die Verletzt_

_“Mulder toads just fell from the sky.”_

_“I guess their parachutes didn’t open.”_

_“Did you really think you could call up the devil and ask him to behave?”_

_Fresh Bones_

_“One of the few, the proud, the dead.”_

_He’s hunting frogs. “Maybe I should kiss a few and find out if one is Gutierrez._

Scully walked into the office to find Mulder in the back mumbling incoherently with a book in his hand.  He looked up.  “Scully, can I borrow something personal of yours?”

Scully crossed her arms. “Are you going to give it back?”

“Of course” He replied with a furrowed brow.

“Are you looking for heels or evening wear?”

“No, I only do that on Thursdays.” He deadpanned and walked over to his desk placing a candle on top and lighting it.

“How about an earring?” She took off a pearl stud and handed it to him.  He said his jingle and held the earring in his fist over the flame of the candle. He looked at Scully and waited. “Are you feeling any different?”

“I thought you had a fear of fire?” She countered.

“You cured me.” He replied slightly irritated. “How about now?”

“What should I be feeling?”

“I don’t know… hot and bothered?” The candle burned into the delicate skin of his wrist and he pulled away shaking it.

Scully moved her hands to her hips and wondered why she was entertaining such ridiculousness. “I’m not hot, but I’m definitely bothered.  What are you trying to do, put a hex on me?” She thought that after playing sidekick to the devil he might be more careful  with spells or any other such notions.

Mulder was studying through the book intently with a perplexed look on his face.  He spoke to Scully clearly distracted by what he was reading. “I’m trying a spell, it’s suppose to get women to take their clothes off.  I figured since you’re female you could be my test subject.”

“How is it Mulder that there are days you could have absolutely no respect for the opposite sex?”

Mulder looked up from his book with a hurt expression. “I have great respect for the opposite sex.  I respect their right not to have sex with me and they respect mine when I replay them at night in my head with some hand lotion and a box of kleenex.”  He blew out the candle and handed her back her earring. “Maybe you have unrealistic expectations of me.”

“Professionalism in the office doesn’t seem like too much of an expectation.” Scully responded placing the earring back into her ear. “Mulder, the problem may be that the women you’re looking for don’t exist.”

He leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs at the ankles, his feet resting  atop the center of his desk. “How’s that? What’s wrong with looking for a woman that just wants to have a good time for a little while.”

Scully nodded. “RIght.  One that knows exactly the way to do it, but doesn’t do that with anyone else.”

“That would be a definite plus.”

Scully sighed and walked around his desk sitting on the corner as she crossed her legs. Her foot swaying inches from his lifted legs. “You’re looking for a virgin whore. Those might be a little hard to come by.”

“Well, what about you?” He drew his legs in and slid his chair closer to Scully rotating it so he was facing her. His elbow leaned on the desk while his index and thumb pinched his bottom lip.  

“What about me?” Scully felt her defenses kick in. What did Mulder know of what she wanted or didn’t want.

“You want a guy that looks like a model, is hung like a pornstar, romances and dances like Fred Astaire, is home reading a novel on Friday nights and only has eyes for you. I don’t see those walking by everyday either. And, by the way, is going to sit at home while you traipse across the country with me.”

“That is oddly specific Mulder.  How often do you think about this?” Mulder simply blinked at her like he was waiting for her to acknowledge his great deductive abilities.  She sighed. “I guess we’ll both be continuing to spend a lot of time alone.” Not that she thought at this point either of them cared.  It appeared you left your personal life at the door when you hit the basement button on the elevator.

Mulder grabbed a handful of sunflower seeds from the top of his desk. “We should make one of those pacts.”

“What, like if we’re 40 and still single?”

He cracked one between his teeth and spit the shell out into his empty coffee cup. “That might be a little too close for comfort.. How about if we reach the nursing home and we’re still not otherwise entangled, we agree to break a hip together on a Posturepedic?”

“I think this conversation has found a new low.”

Rising from his chair, Mulder tossed the candle in the trash. “Let’s go see what Skinner wants from us today.” He waited at the door for Scully. “I’m through playing around with witchcraft.” He placed his hand at the small of her back and led her into the elevator.  He pressed the button to Skinner’s floor and watched the doors close and smiled to himself. He stared at the digital box displaying the floors. Besides, he thought, there’s no nicer witch than you.

*

It was 2PM and Mulder was not back from lunch. It wasn’t like him not to have lunch with her when they weren’t on a case and she was starting to get suspicious.  Butterflies fluttered around her stomach. The thought of him having lunch with someone else disturbed her.  She preferred when she had him all to herself whether the person he was spending time with was male or female.  Or maybe he had a doctor’s appointment or had to stop by the dry cleaners and didn’t tell her. Or worse. Maybe he had recruited another source and they were on their way across the country and she would have to follow the trail to hunt him down. His paranoia must be growing on her. Where was he?

Mulder shifted his weight in the chair at the EAP office. The dark haired woman behind the desk seemed to be taking an excessive amount of notes. “I hoped I was able to provide some insight for you. As you are well aware I can’t discuss anything that she and I have discussed just as she will not know of our conversations.  Being held twice against her will and in such a short span of time takes a toll on one’s psyche.  I believe if you use the techniques we’ve outlined and be patient she will continue to recover. Given her independent tendencies prior, it is natural that tendency would be exacerbated afterwards. All you can do is be there for her and wait for her to approach you. As far as fearing that you are being overly protective, you two are partners. It’s normal to be protective of your partner, male or female.  Successful partners develop close relationships given the stress and circumstances they are put under. Of course, you know that as well.”

“Thank you.” Mulder said as he got up and shook the woman’s hand. “You really have shed a light on some things.  I’ve conducted countless interviews over the years concerning abductions, but it’s different when it’s your partner and your instinct is to help her or get her to open up about it and she shuts down.”

“You really care and that’s important. Give her time and hopefully we can make some good progress.”

“Thanks. I will be certain to use the techniques.” Mulder repeated as he left the office.  He glanced at his watch. Scully would certainly be wondering where he had been.

Scully was sitting behind the desk twirling a pencil and staring at the wall.  She was replaying the shower scene in her head, but not the one from Psycho. In a flash of a second, without time to think, Mulder’s natural intuitive basic instinct was to protect her. Within the time it took to hear the clicks of a cocked shotgun Mulder had turned and shielded her body with his own.There was an entire universe between saying you’d put your life on the line for someone and throwing your body between them and imminent death.  He literally put her life before his own.  Besides her mother and possibly her father, she never knew anyone who would do that for her. It changed the way she looked at him, the way she thought of him.  It made her rethink her own commitments to him and his cause.

Her thought was interrupted by the breeze and a loud clunk of files hitting the desk.  Mulder was back. “Skinner called me into his office.  Looks like we’ve got another case.”

*

11:23 P.M. and Scully’s house phone was ringing.  Waking from a deep sleep her head felt like lead. She could hear the voices of doctors from the t.v. show she dozed off on. As she lifted her head to reach for the phone she felt the pattern of the couch imprinted on her cheek. In a sleepy growl she answered her phone. She already knew who was on the other end. “Hello?”

“Hey Scully.  Did I wake you?”

“Yes, but that’s alright.  I don’t need sleep.” No wonder she fell asleep everywhere.  Sleeping through the night was a crime for Mulder.

“Good.  I was thinking about that refugee camp. Could you imagine what it’s like to be one of those refugees with no basic human rights? What your life is like.  You have no home, no country.”

“It’s an awful situation.” Scully yawned and rubbed her eyes.

“A friend of mine told me the statue of liberty was on vacation, and our government is making a statement that if you’re not a citizen you better keep out.  Do you think in twenty years we’ll still be making those same statements?  Arguing the same politics? The land of the free, the home of the chosen few?”

“I’d like to think things will be different Mulder, but politics tend to be cyclical.  If one day we take heed on what history teaches us, only then we may move in a forward direction. I’d also like to believe that the ones making these decisions are more informed of the situation and in some way protecting it’s citizens.” She yawned again. “Unfortunately, there’s always individual sacrifices when people’s concerns are laser focused on the greater good.”

“I’m voting for you Scully.  Will I see you in the morning?”

“I’ve got to stop by the lab in the morning, but then I’ll be heading to the office.” Scully squinted at the t.v. and noticed that another show had come one. There was a group sitting in a circle discussing their issues and then the image flashed on a woman clearly touching herself. Wonderful late night television.

Mulder, hearing the high pitched emoting, picked up on it immediately. “Scully, what are you watching…? oh, wait… let me guess...The Learning Channel again?”

“As a matter of fact….Yes. Actually, I was watching a show about real patients undergoing televised operations.  While I was speaking to you the next show came on.” Scully stretched out her arms running her hands along the floor and in between the cushions of the couch looking for her lost remote so she could change or at least mute the television.

“What’s the name of the show Scully?”

“Goodnight Mulder.”

“I’m waiting.”

“Goodnight.”

“Scully what are you watching?” His voice sing songy and reeked of amusement.

“It’s a documentary on women who experience spontaneous orgasms.”

“Really.” Was all he said, but his tone was now dripping with intrigue.

“It’s highly speculative and most commonly associated with bipolar or obsessive compulsive disorders.  Anyway, I wasn’t watching it, I was speaking with you.”

“Goodnight Scully.” He hung up the phone before she could persuade him further. Finally digging out the remote from under the cushion she changed the channel to the Honeymooners and drifted back to dreamland. That night she dreamt of Mulder and herself sharing a sweet blueberry pie with melted chocolate chip vanilla ice cream.  Tons of whipped cream, hot fudge and a cherry.  High calorie dreams where she didn’t have to worry about gaining a pound.  Her favorite.

*

Mulder opened the door for Scully as they walked from the lab to their rental. “I don’t think that guy liked me very much.” He stated, referring to the lab technician.

“Did you ever consider it might be your arrogance that makes them dislike you?” The sun was making an appearance today and Scully could feel the heat penetrating her pumps as they walked along the sidewalk.

“No, it’s the way you look at me. It makes them jealous.”

Scully stopped dead in her tracks. “So someone’s lack of fondness of you is because they’re attracted to me?”

“Only if they are of the male persuasion...well, some women also.” Mulder’s expression was featureless showing no indication he was teasing.

As they reached the car, Scully opened the passenger door to the rental looking at Mulder over the hood. “I take it back, that’s the most arrogant thing you’ve ever said.”

They both got in and before turning the key Mulder turned to her. “You know Scully, once in awhile it is ok to acknowledge the effect you have on a man.” He started the car. “When you wag your tail and bat your eyes, things happen.”

“Mulder, I really don’t think this is something we need to discuss.”

“And that’s your goto response. Did you feel outshadowed by your sister growing up? Or did you really not know you were the prettiest girl at the prom?”

Both Scully’s arms and legs crossed. “I’m not entertaining this Mulder.”

“Because it’s true.” Driving from the garage, Mulder’s index finger lifted from the steering wheel as he spoke.  “and not just Frohike thinks that. I should know, I’m the one that has to pick up the tongues that hit the floor as you walk by and roll them back into their mouths.”

“But not you.”

“No.” Mulder said shaking his head. “I’m immune.”

“Says the guy whose eyes bulge at the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.”  

Mulder kept his eyes on the road. “I'm not a sexist, I'm a professional. When we met I looked at you as my partner, nothing more, nothing less. Through that process I developed an immunity.”

“So how come others don’t carry this same immunity?”

“They don’t have the same restraint.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I’m just saying, if I had the ability to walk down the street and block out the sun in the same interesting way, I might use it to my advantage. Get quicker lab results, police might give me a little longer with a body…”

“So I should use to my advantage the fact that some men are perverts that only want to objectify me and whose only concern is whether to look up my skirt or down my blouse?”

“It sounds tawdry when you put it like that.”

“You are not at a disadvantage Mulder. There are plenty of woman at work objectifying you and I don’t get invited to the men's golf games.”

“I don’t play golf.”

“Football, baseball, you know what I mean….” Scully removed her seatbelt and opened the door, “Well, it’s too bad you’re immune, imagine the power I could wield.”

He watched her leave the car, the way her elongated calf muscles were accentuated by her heels, the perfect curvature of her hips to her tiny waist. Hair bouncing along her shoulders to tease him with glimpses of her neck. She was fire and ice, compassion and intellect, strong and resilient. He left the car and with a couple strides was next to her.  “Yup, I’m immune.  Too bad.” They got to the door and he patted his pockets.  "I must have left my keys in the car."  Searching, she dug out her own set and unlocked the door.  Mulder stepped in closer as she did it and let the lavender vanilla scent of her hair drift upwards, closing his eyes, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he breathed in heaven.  Before she turned the knob she glanced upwards in his direction giving him a quick little smile.  If you blinked you might miss it.  Just a slight upward tug at the corners and a sparkle in her eyes, a small glimpse of pearly whites peeking through upturned lips. Without fail she did it every time and since the first time it happened his body always had the same reaction.  A burst of sunshine would fill his chest and soothe him with the tranquility of a friendship that knew no bounds. Once inside Scully grabbed the carafe so she could start a pot of coffee. Mulder sat down at his desk noticing the perfect curvature of her spine leading to her tailbone as it left the office. Pulling the keys from his front pocket he tossed them into the middle desk drawer.  All he would get were those tiny sweet moments, but there was satisfaction from anything that could draw those feelings from a man so scarred. She was never to know. He cared for her life much more than he did his own heart.


	23. I'm Going Retro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is during "Colony" and "End Game".

“How was the opera?”  

“Wonderful, I never slept better.”   

“It’s over the fat lady is singing.”

“I need to know what you know.”

“Okay, they’re all dead.”

*

“How will Fox prevent them from being killed?” Bill Mulder asked the man on the other end of the phone that had no limits to his depravity.

“He won’t. He will fail.”  CSM had no desire to speak with Bill, but he knew this time would come.

“For what purpose?”

“They have already contacted him.  They falsely believe he will help them. Now we need to follow it through to the end.” CSM was not budging on this fact, they were going to lie to Mulder.  Everything was going to go according to plan.

“To see Samantha again, a clone or not, will be too much for my wife to go through.”

“She’s stronger than you believe.  We must protect the project.” CSM took a drag of his cigarette. What did Bill really know of his wife? CSM felt he would be a better judge of her character.

“That is the only reason we are going along with this.” Bill Mulder hung up the phone and stared at his ex-wife with tears in her eyes.  Once again they were called on to deceive their first born.

*

“Whatever happened to Trust No One, Mulder?”

“Oh, I changed it to Trust Everyone. I didn’t tell you?”

“Is it too late for a game of stratego?”

“It’s 22 years too late.”

It only took a couple days and a couple emails for Mulder’s life to go from a fall breeze to a whirlwind cyclone.  FBI agents were dead, Skinner was chewing on his ass, Scully and him were at odds, german clones were being systematically killed, and then his sister returned. It was difficult to accept, yet it had to be. In his mind, she was the eight year old that left.  An innocent child never forgotten.  Now a woman stood before him.  His crusade complete? He found that doubtful.  

As his sister’s tale unraveled, he realized that if he would have listened to Scully from the beginning her life wouldn’t be in danger now, but a man in his form was coming for Scully and he had no way to reach her.  These are the risks we take.  His own words repeating in his memory.  Harsh and cruel considering her recent sacrifices.

Scully opened the door to the Vacation Village Motorlodge to find Mulder at the other side.  Her cell phone rang and his voice was on the other end.  Confusion struck, but when her back was against the wall it was Mulder’s voice that always played in her consciousness allowing her to put logic and reason aside. She trusted him more than anyone, more than her own being.  That kind of trust permeated one’s soul, one’s existence.  So was it her ears or her eyes being lied to? She asked him calmly, “Where have you been Mulder? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you.”.  She waited for his response, but it was the response of her heart that convinced her it wasn’t him.  There was no tether. no pull. no electric current. no underlying force.  She couldn’t feel his thoughts, read his eyes, or hug his soul. His words fell flat and she knew it couldn’t be him.   

Still, it was difficult to look into the face of the man she cared for so deeply, that never looked at her in harm, and have him pummel her with his fists.  The alien was foolish to think she would give up Mulder.  There wasn’t any amount of torture that could break Dana Scully.

Was this really his sister? Did he believe her story? Would he trade his sister’s life for Scully? If he had to go with what he knew, he knew Scully was in danger. This bounty hunter/alien didn’t think twice about ending lives and from the look of the motel room he had used Scully as a ragdoll.  The plan was to save both of them, but given a choice…. Saving his sister had become his obsession, his goal in life.  He had thrown away everything… career, relationships, every aspect of his life and filled his brain with the conspiracies surrounding it all to find Samantha.  There was nothing left to his life, but finding his sister. Then there was Scully.  The only person on the planet that believed in him, that didn’t use him, and the person who held the key to his truth and sometimes sanity.  He loved his sister, but the will to live was one of the most powerful in the universe and Scully was him just as he was her, their lives existing only with the survival of the other. So who does one choose?

Of all the things he could live with, there was only one thing he couldn’t live without. It was the one thing that kept air in his lungs when he was drowning and calmed his rage in the storm. It was part of his pneuma after all and that is why his nature trusted it before his mind. It was his harbor, a secure port where he anchored himself. Without it he was lost wandering a waterless desert with no home. For it came with warmth, love, and patience.

A beacon in the night.

Mulder, it’s me.

*

Mulder, still in search of answers to his sister’s location, followed the bounty hunter into Alaska while Scully slept on his couch waiting for X so she could find his location.  They both knew she had been right, he was constantly risking her life for something purely personal to him, but there was an “us” that had been born, a common path now shared, and even when they fought it, it couldn’t be denied. What would her life be without him? 

Scully’s head rested where his had so many times before.  Remnants of his cologne from his throw pillow rocked her to sleep as her body relaxed into the soft dark leather. The indentations formed by his body a perfect match for hers. X had left her high and dry. Obtained through unofficial channels, a bloody and battered Skinner gave her the coordinates. With that information, Scully was hot on his trail. In perspective,  Alaska was not very far to travel for a man she would go to the ends of the earth to save.

Mulder was spared by the bounty hunter only because he served a purpose in colonization. As times in the past and many times again in the future, Scully’s science would save his life, bringing him back to life from the hands of the retrovirus. It was her hands on his arm that would awaken her sleeping prince with a beautiful warm and inviting smile to greet him. He ditched her this time and he would ditch her several more, but they would always find each other.

Mulder recovered something this time around.  Besides the bounty hunter claiming his sister was alive.  The clones had confirmed for him that his hypnotic memories were true. It was what he needed to once again spark his passion.

“Did you find what you were looking for?”

“No. No, but I found something I thought I’d lost.  Faith to keep looking.”


	24. Musings at a Bedside.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We don't often get to peek into Scully's mind, so tonight we will get into some of her fleeting thoughts on Mulder as he recovers from being turned into a pillar of salt and a bad makeup job. I wish my friends held me on the pedestal that Scully and Mulder have for each other in this season. Then again, I'm afraid of heights, so maybe not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. What happened to "Fearful Symmetry"? Well, it didn't raise a lot of inspiration in the two of them. I will leave you with the best part of the whole episode. That would be from the mouth of Frohike. "If that's the lovely Agent Scully, let her know I've been working out. I'm buff."

"Dod Kalm"

"You know, I always thought when I got older I’d maybe take a cruise somewhere. This isn’t exactly what I had in mind. The service on this ship is _terrible_ , Scully."

  
Scully opened her eyes and a naval doctor was there to greet her. They were in a hospital recovering from their experiences in the USS Ardent. Fully conscious, only one thought entered her mind and only one name graced her lips. Mulder. He was alive. Saved by her words in her journal, by her relentless need for documentation. Her smile was one of relief and happiness. The doctor might have been concerned, but she knew more about nursing Mulder back to health than any other talent she might have acquired in med school.

  
Once she was able to get around, she assisted with the doctors full time. At night she would rub his extremities to keep up blood flow and circulation. During the day she would assist with the synthetic treatments. Tonight she was sitting vigil as always until he fully recovered. Holding his hand she was glad she had never given up on him. No matter what the situation, they would never leave the other behind, no one gets there alone. She knew her morals and ethics would never allow it, but in the end, the true answer was: It was Mulder. They had been through so much together. Excitement, mystery, adventure. They had pushed their brains and philosophies past places they dared to go, dared to dream. And there was still so much more to uncover. What started as a forced assignment was now one she didn’t want to be left behind from. There was science to be discovered and exploration to be done. And so she came to rest at his side. The man that made all this and more possible for her. This was the reason she left medicine. She felt she had purpose now and took some contentment and satisfaction in her choice. She could doubt herself on another day. Staring at her poor wrinkled partner she caressed his face and ran her fingers through his soft brown hair. Even in his condition, she was sure he was telling wisecracks in his dreams. Science could perform miracles. Bringing him from the brink of death, but Mulder performed miracles as well. Around him she was the epitome of extremes. Souring and grounded, bound to him and free, jovial and frightened. Like the amusement park ride in the park that never closes. Mulder had opened a door in her she didn’t even know was there. Unlocking it with mere words and kind eyes. Always there to take away the pain, and though they did not know each other long enough, he saw the person she truly was and appreciated her for it. Most of all, he made her laugh with his horribly clever one liners and idiosyncrasies. She rubbed his arm and held his hand. Mulder was so much more to her than he knew, the gifts he had bestowed. She knew he already had inside him everything he needed to find and follow his truths. He was no less than perfect in her eyes and she wasn’t above letting everyone know it. To be around him made her high, like his aura was an elixir.  
Mulder’s eyes opened and he smiled. “Is this heaven?”  
“Let’s hope not” She smiled back. To have the ability to be in his company right now was her slice of heaven. “Rest. You’re going to be just fine.”  
For the remainder of the night they did not speak. Instead they let their eyes relay their emotions. Her partner was alive.


	25. Saturday Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Humbug" is this chapter's episode. Written by the great Darin Morgan and directed by the late Kim Manners. An incredible combination. X-files episodes are true art. Too much is missed by a single viewing. I have no quotes because as with all Darin Morgan episodes I'd have the whole script copied onto the page. This one does not disappoint as it contains all the DM elements: Scully has an implied sexiness and coolness, Mulder becomes almost a parody of himself, and there's a societal and moral statement. You get the pleasure of being along for the ride.  
> This chapter takes place the Saturday after they return. Scully ponders her own "normalcy"

“I hope everyone is excited.  I know I am.  We have some first timers with us today.  Karen brought Carrie and Andrea and Tammy brought Dana. I hope you enjoy scrapbooking with us and hopefully you join us every month for this night of fun.” Heather concluded smiling and adjusting the headband on her golden locks.

“Dana, isn’t this fun.  It’s a good excuse for the men to watch the kids and allow us to get away for a bit.  Besides, Heather makes the best strawberry daiquiris. What pictures are you scrapbooking with tonight?" Tammy asked with much enthusiasm.

“I’m making my mom a gift for her birthday.” Scully answered with a glue stick in hand.  “It’s old pictures of me, my sister, and my brothers growing up. I think she will really enjoy it.”

“Sounds great.  I’m working on one for my newborn.  Something the kids can look back on. This gets rather addicting.  Soon you’ll be gathering recent photos and planning scrapbooks for every little adventure.  I like to include journal entries with mine as well to make it easier to recall the good times.”

Scully nodded and smiled.  Not exactly able to relate. Newborns not being the current focus in her life.  Husbands weren’t a concern either.  There would be plenty of time for both when she felt herself ready.

After setting up a table in front of everyone sitting on the surrounding couches, Heather took the head seat and began her tutorial. “For those of you new to our club, we will be starting with some basics.  First let’s select our theme paper. Remember when creating mattes for our photos we want them on solid paper, usually from a color within our theme paper. Watch as I place the photo with a single matte behind it, and look at it pop. The photo already looks good, but it can get even better. Now look at what happens with double matting..” Heather placed a larger purple matte behind the original pink matte she made.  “and wow, it makes it look finished and really frames the photo. A great tip is to now pre-cut several in advance….”

As Heather continued Karen turned to Scully. “I found once I started scrapbooking, I couldn't stop.  After my first time I was going through recent photos, looking for common themes.  Are you a picture taker? I’m sure you have some great shots with all the traveling you do...”

Scully nodded and smiled. Sure, in fact laying on the desk in a file folder now was the recent elephant autopsy pictures and one of an alligator man. Finished with her double matte, she looked over to Andrea currently emoting to the group making fluid arm movements to exaggerate her buoyant speech.   

“...With my husband it’s always getting him to do the dishes. I cook, so he says he’ll do them, but somehow he ends up watching t.v. while I’m setting pots in the dishwasher.”

The conversation reminded Scully of yesterday when she scolded Mulder for never cleaning out the coffee pot after he took the last of it. Luckily at home she only had to clean up after herself. Another checkmark in the benefits of single life. Being in Florida hunting down the conjoined twin killer, hadn’t left her with many dishes to worry about, but it was about time to clean her gun again. Probably not the best subject to bring up as people complained about dirty diapers and lazy husbands.

Carrie retorted. “Please.  It’s easier to get my two year old to pick up his clothes.  Yesterday my husband was frantic looking for his uniform, which was dirty and right where he left it.  He actually looked at me like I should have been to blame for it not being laundered.”

Scully could only reply in her mind. Well I share an office with my partner and I’m constantly having to put his porn away.  Not to mention the trail of sunflower seed shells I often pick up.  Although, he’s getting better at filing. It’s not all bad, he’s always been good at decorating.  The office is covered in the unexplained; like where he finds all those hideous ties...

“Did you hear, Molly told me she got a face-lift.  I’ve done the laser hair removal, but an actual lift, it’s so painful, I’m not sure I’m ready for that.  At least not until I’m forty.”

“That must have cost her a pretty penny.  I know we just put braces on my oldest and it’ll be close to $4,000 by the time we’re done and that’s with insurance covering a lot of it.”

Scully excused herself to the bathroom. As she washed her hands, she looked at the woman staring back at her and she might as well have been looking into another funhouse mirror. Had life become so distorted by her new reality that she was now the freak and the weirdo? She never ran with the popular kids, but she was always part of the larger group and surrounded by numerous friends.  When did she grow so out of touch? Was this always inside or had she been transformed, bitten, doomed to walk the earth a mutant tainted by those she investigated. Doused in an esoteric cosmology transcending the known physical universe with absolutes beyond the comprehension of known ponderings. Unlike those in Florida, she could hide her abnormalities.  Did she want to? Or should she embrace them like they did.  Feeling empathy for those doomed to walk the path with concerns for hair growth, wrinkles, and crooked teeth. Not knowing the hellfire along with the brilliantly unimaginable, right outside their doors.  Scully tightened the brass knobs of the marble sink and dried her hands on the monogrammed towels. After fixing an errant strand of hair and a little runaway eyeliner she returned to her friends with a smile.

Karen sat down some sandwiches and excited everyone with Sushi.  Scully popped a spicy tuna roll in her mouth and it made her smile thinking of Mulder’s sighting of the Conundrum biting into the live fish. She wondered what her partner was up to on a Saturday night and took out her cell phone to stare at the lack of missed calls.

“What’s wrong Dana?” Tammy asked.  “Not a call from work I hope.  Not on a Saturday night.”

“Excuse me. I’m going to have to take this.” Scully said as she put the cell phone up to her ear, pretending to speak to the unknown person, and turned towards the patio where she slipped behind the sliding glass doors and out of earshot.  With a couple presses of the redial button salvation greeted her on the other end.

“Mulder.”

“Hey Mulder, it’s me.”

“Scully.  I didn’t expect to hear from you until Monday morning. What are you doing on this lovely Saturday night.”

“Over a friend’s house.  Lady’s night out.”

“Do you have strippers over there Scully?”

“Mulder, do you really imagine that every time a group of women gather it includes throwing money into a male’s gyrating thong?”

“Either that or mud wrestling.” Mulder said dryly.  
Scully steered him back to a more productive subject. “What are you working on?”

“What makes you think I’m working on anything, maybe I have a date.”

“Frohike or Langley.”

“Ouch. Actually Byers.”

“So what do you have?”

“Nothing I can speak about on an unsecured line.  If you are really interested, you’re welcome to come over. Byers and I were about ready to head over to The Lone Gunman.  Frohike is over there trying to validate the information from the source.”

“Sure, I’ll head on over.  Give me about thirty minutes.” Scully ended her call and retreated back to the group of woman that silenced as she entered the room.

“I must apologize.  I’m going to have to head out.  We got a lead on a case we’re working on…”

*

Once at the Lone Gunman, Mulder explained to Scully the newest discovery.  
“One of Byer’s sources is claiming to have proof we are communicating with UFO’s.”

Frohike entered the room surprised and appeared as though he might pass out.

“Frohike are you okay?” Mulder asked and Frohike answered with a shocked look continuing to loom over his face. “Sorry. I’ve never seen Agent Scully in non-work attire.”

Mulder shook his head and tried to ignore the comment.

Byers addressed Scully. “Are you familiar with the 1971 publication Project Cyclops? It was the report of a summer workshop sponsored by NASA and described a project to search for artificially generated radio signals from a distance of up to 1,000 light years. Later this developed into the SETI institute. The Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence. A phrase coined in the 60s by a handful of radio astronomers. Recently, my friend picked up some chatter that signals have been detected at a strength of .75 Janskys at a distance of HD 164595.”

Scully looked around the table.  “Who picked up the signal?”

Langley answered. “A RATAN 600 radio telescope.  A Russian receiver. Using a bandwidth of 1 GHz or 200 times wider than a television signal or a billion times wider than anything traditionally used by the SETI institute.”

Byers interjected. “That’s not even the best part.  From that distance the alien transmitter would have to be using 10 to the 20th power watts.”

Mulder stroked his chin and added, “That’s a 100 billion billion watts.  That’s about a hundred times more energy than all the sunlight falling on Earth.  Where could you get that kind of power source?”  

Byers lowered his voice for effect. “By harnessing the power of a black hole.”

Scully tried her best to hold back her laughter.  They always took the absurd so serious. “So what is the signal saying?”

Now it was Frohike’s turn to offer his portion of the theatrics before leaving them for the kitchen and his latest creation. “It’s an offset of Morse code.  We haven’t been able to decipher it yet, but by setting up the proper program our computer is currently running the frequencies and we believe we’ll be able to crack it..”

Byers continued with increased enthusiasm.  Langley paced around with his hands in his pockets nodding and butting in here and there with little tidbits and irrelevant stories trying to impress Mulder. Frohike returned from the kitchen with enchiladas and nachos in a sleeveless t-shirt and apron trying his best to flex every time he saw Scully glance his way.  Then there was Mulder.  Sporting a Knicks t-shirt and jeans.  Clean shaven across his squared jaw, his muscles flirting with her as they peeked out of the short sleeves. Not paying her mind, he nonchalantly flipped through a magazine as his mind computed Byers facts, acknowledged Langley’s need for attention, kept Frohike a safe distance from Scully, had his next case brewing in the back, and estimated the score for tonight’s basketball game. Looking up to see what eyes had laid upon him, he caught Scully’s glare and smiled, adding a sparkle and a wink in her direction. Letting her know he was glad she was there. She wasn’t quite ready to give in to the notion that she belonged to this motley crew, but gossip and rum drinks didn’t satisfy her cravings in the way it once did. Besides, Scully was content to be invited into their circle of trust. One of the boys.  

Mulder reached for a chip and Scully quickly got there before he did, scooping up some salsa and popping it into her mouth, a wry grin on her face. With an exchange of expressions, Mulder reached for another biting down as their eyes locked. There were worse ways to spend a Saturday night.


	26. Exposure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The episodes "The Calusari" and "F. Emasculata" and we are introduced to Chuck.

Calusari

Scully remained quiet in the car back to D.C.. Gratefully Mulder had picked up her end of the conversation rambling something about Elvis’ batting average when he was playing for the Yankees. At least that was what she heard.  Being ever observant, especially when it came to her, he was extending her the courtesy of being alone with her thoughts.  With each case, it had always been Mulder who experienced the paranormal first hand.  Mulder who left his mind open to believe and allowed the experiences to shape their meaning.  But it had been Scully that had been locked in the room this time with the entity of evil. She was the one flipped into the air, thrown across the room and witnessed the ghost of a child attack her with a knife only to transform into a shadow falling into the floorboards and back to hell.  The experience had not scared or spooked her.  In some odd way it gave her peace. Fortifying her own beliefs that her experience while in that coma had merit.  That there was something more than this life, and the beyond exposed to her was one of peace and joy with her father there to greet her. She raised her head and looked Mulder’s way.  He was maundering a  new subject..  James Bond? She smiled and he caught himself pausing a moment to smile back before returning to his senseless prattle. She had much appreciation for the man that drove her to the cliff of her own fears. The gentleness and care he took as he guided her over the edge, with patience and a soft tone, and she fought it tooth and nail, but when she looked down she realized he had already taught her to float with him in the clouds. Not that she wouldn’t prove the physics for the lack of gravity giving one the propensity in which to perform such an act. She smiled this time at her own obstinacy. Which led to thoughts of her father.  Was it really him coming to her in a vision, saying goodbye on the night he had passed? The experience was something she could not grasp, where laws  of physics or chemistry did not explain.  Yet there was something tangible in what she experienced and maybe the laws that applied were ones just not yet discovered, terrifying in itself.  Can she now say that she believed? That she had inside a capacity, maybe not that of Mulder’s, to have faith in that which is unexplained?  She had said to Mulder while they were dying trapped on the ship that what she had learned of death while in the coma was not anything to fear and she believed, didn’t she? Mulder parked the car and they walked from the garage of the FBI building to the employee entrance.  She didn’t recall when he had stopped talking.  

She looked out towards the sky between the stone pillars of the lot. Her stomach turned and she felt a nervousness creep into her chest, grasping her cross she caressed it and betrayed her need for answers. She closed her eyes and in that brief second, she silently prayed. ‘Dad I believe you can hear me and I believe you are watching over, I hope you are proud of me and now understand my choices. Know how much I love you.’

Warm fingers tickled the hairs at the base of her neck. The muscles there relaxing into the slight pressure. Her eyes  locked with Mulder’s as he brought her back from far away, a place in her mind he had yet to travel. Holding the door to the FBI building open, he guided her through. “You know, some of these cases can affect you in ways you didn’t bargain for.  I’m here if you ever need to talk.” His hot breath tickling her ear while the creamy melodious nature of his voice comforted and warmed her like being wrapped in a favorite blanket next to a crackling fire.  Talking was not what she wanted. Words would expose and subdue. Knowing he would believe and understand was enough for her, his body already communicating what she had needed from him.   

His finger locked into the small of her back as she looked up into the undemanding eyes. “Thank you, but I’m fine Mulder. Really.”  

 

F. Emasculata

 

Cars passed on the street below, a fire truck blaring, while the ants marched to their destinations for the night. The man with nicotine stained teeth pursed his lips deepening the crevices that surrounded them while his yellow eyes turned to slits. He looked out his window in pity, having no consternation for the trivialities of dinner reservations or a family waiting for him.  Tonight’s meal would be rotating in a microwave. Eaten on a single snack tray with this week’s episode of Dateline as his companion.  While others concerned themselves over their child’s flu, he had to shoulder the burden of pandemics and plagues.

Why couldn’t Mulder wrap his head around the notion that information control was power, power to eradicate as well as prosper? Perhaps prospering was only for the chosen few, or perhaps everyone, but left to simple minds we all perished. He had faith that Mulder would come to see, with him it just took time and more cases to lead him there. If Mulder hadn’t learned his next intended lesson from this assignment, perhaps the level-headed and wise Agent Scully had? Perhaps she will be the educator? His hand lowered to his ash tray to snuff out the last cigarette of the pack, only to grab a fresh one as he slung a coat over his shoulder and headed out for the night. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

 

“Is this seat taken?” Said the voice from his right side over the noise of the crowded bar.

Mulder smiled without looking over to the bar stool next to him, now occupied, and continued to sip his beer.  He motioned for the bartender and ordered a cabernet.  The bartender pouring at once and giving Mulder a quick wink, pushed the wineglass towards him. Mulder paid the tab and flipping down an extra couple singles, grabbed the wine and his beer and stood.  

“A booth?” He asked as he motioned towards the corner. Setting the wine glass down opposite him he slid onto the soft vinyl bench and surrendered to the gaze of the hypnotizing sapphires gleaming back.

“Are you drowning your sorrows?” She asked crossing her legs.  He took notice that her casual slacks were darker and more form fitting than her usual attire.  

“More like licking my wounds”, he countered back. “Why didn’t you tell me you were almost infected?”

“It was important for you to stay focused.” She swirled her glass nervously, breathing in the aromas as she lifted it before allowing the velvet liquid to pass her lips. Her movements taking on their typical artistic flare.

Mulder stared down at his beer, now unappetizing as it threatened to dull the senses away from the present company. She knew the events of the week were hard for him to swallow and he guessed she was right thinking he needed to get it off his chest. He looked back into her caring eyes. “Don’t people have a right to know when they’re in danger? To know that companies are taking chances risking their health and safety?  The health and safety of their children? Am I any better than they are working for the same institution promoting these… lies.. Under the guise of national security? Doesn’t everyone have a right as a being on this planet to know? When does this not make me a hypocrite?”

“Mulder..” She said his name to ground him.  He felt her finger linger onto his as it left the stem of her glass, caressing his ring finger currently wrapped around his beer mug catching condensation. The slight intrusion healing his lesions of self-deprecation.

Quickly her finger retracted and disappeared under the table. No longer hunched, she formed a rigid posture as he watched her tongue perform its ritual while her brain processed. “The truth needs to be revealed, but under the right conditions. You can’t just yell fire. There’s an education that must happen first…”

“It’s going to happen again Scully and next time who will be there to stop it? How long can the truth be put on hold before it’s too late?”

They finished their drinks in silence.  Maybe her silent company was all he had been seeking.  She fixed a strand of her hair and pulled a Scrunchie from her pocket, gathering the rest of her fiery locks towards the back of her head.  The motion caused her shoulder blades to squeeze together, her chest pushing against the charcoal ribbed sweater that covered it. Not wanting her to notice him gawk, he distracted himself watching a loud mouth in the corner of the bar brag incessantly to whatever woman wanted to listen, both surviving in blissful naivete. Mulder turned his attention back to the more casual Scully, her high cheekbones beaming and sparkling, no longer covered by a red curtain of hair. The results of her fanciness causing him to shift in his seat. He wrinkled his brow, his upper lip curling. “Those exploding boils were pretty nasty.”

Scully finished her wine and nodded in agreement. “That they were.”


	27. Humanity and Fried Chicken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Soft Light" and "Our Town". Dark Matter and Cannibalism are best served cold.

Soft Light

Scully was distracted by her thoughts as she headed away from the gravesite, partly blaming herself for her young students early demise. Without looking up she felt him in the distance. When she did he was lurking besides a tree, layered in gray, almost hauntingly so, possibly mistaken for an undertaker, his overcoat just short of reaching his ankles, with a slight hunch as if shouldering her grief.    

“She was my student and she came to me for help” The simple act of saying the words consoled her, confessing to him like he was her priest. She thought God would take exception to that reference.

“I know it must be hard” he squinted back at her through his new sunglasses. They were rounder than the others and she had noted the other day that she preferred the more angular lenses that matched his jawline. This would be the extent of his verbal discourse on the subject.  

“It shouldn’t have happened, this never should have happened.” She wanted more from him, wanted him to say what she thought was his opinion… that she was the catalyst, but Mulder would never be so kind or so crass.

Instead he treated her mourning like a hangover and with crinkled brow turned back to the work. It was then she noticed he had not shaved and his thumbs were massaging his fists… he was still on the case. Following through until all leads were dead, then donning the night vision goggles to follow the crepuscular and nocturnal predators, way past the point of absurdity.

“I’m starting to think it wasn’t Banton we saw in the particle accelerator.” He said confirming her suspicions.

“Well, if he’s not dead, where is he?”

“I think I know, but we’ll never find him….”

“Are you heading back to the office?” She asked him half hoping he might have some more places to visit.

“Yeah. Did you want to go somewhere first?”

“No. I have some errands to run.”  

He nodded his head and understood. She wanted to be alone. “I’ve got my cellphone.”

Scully walked with her head down to her car.  Somehow, Mulder had seen this coming. Or maybe something a lot worse.  Now one of her former students was dead and it felt like her guidance led to the disaster.  She got into her car and started it up.  Truthfully, she had nowhere to go but to work, although spending time in the office with Mulder felt like defeat. Anguish sloshed around her insides as she drove down the crowded streets.  What if she had taught all her female students to thrive at all costs?  What if they learned to take unnecessary risks from her?  There was no winning.  If you were timid and shy you got stepped on, if you were forward and brass you got labeled.  In the end, so much time was spent worrying about appearance and perception, mistakes were made, lives lost.  

Scully finally made her way into the office building and through the bullpen to retrieve some coffee hoping someone would be there to distract her.  

“Agent Scully.” Skinner’s voice boomed behind her and she twirled around to find him glaring, his eyebrows fighting to meet. “If you have a minute I’d like to speak to you in my office.” His voice was not a tell as to whether she was going to be praised or reprimanded.  Currently, the thought of punishment seemed almost fitting.

Instead, when she closed the door to his office, kind words and sympathy were there to greet her. “I haven’t had a chance to express my condolences.  It’s tough when someone that was your pupil loses their life.  Makes you question yourself and possibly your own judgement.”

“Have you had that experience sir?”  
“I have.  One of the Agents under me that I mentored and was very proud of was killed in the line of duty during what should have been a routine sting operation.  It made me question my abilities as a teacher and... if just maybe I did something just a little different, just maybe he would be alive today.”

“How did you overcome the doubt?”

“You don’t, but if you are truly honest with yourself you’ll admit that you can only guide them, their decisions are still theirs as well as their mistakes.”

“I think I saw a lot of me in her, being a woman in this work environment and I was trying to give her opportunities to shine when maybe I should have acknowledged earlier that this case needed to be in the hands of someone experienced…. I maybe have pushed her beyond her comfort zone. What if she’s dead because of that?”

“Nothing I say is going to convince your conscience, but she was responsible for her decisions, not you.”

“Maybe I was so afraid of her being discriminated against for being a woman that I prejudged her capabilities as a detective.”

“I think you need to forgive yourself Agent Scully.”

“For my own prejudices?”

“For being human.”

Our Town

“I can’t believe with all the possibilities of take-out, you chose fried chicken.”  

Scully didn’t appreciate the look he was giving her or his incessant obsession with whatever she chose for nourishment.  “What? They never found any evidence that the chicken was tampered with. Besides, this is Kenny Rogers.”

“I guess he didn’t know when to run.” Mulder mumbled.

Scully acknowledged the comment with a single eyebrow and a quick half smile. She crunched into a thigh from the bucket,  the tender meat bursting with sinful delicious grease onto her tongue.  Ignoring his scowl she looked through the stationary binoculars. The men on the other side resembled overgrown bears hunched over their playing cards.  Cigars hanging from the corners of their lips, they puffed out sentences as they tossed chips across the green felt of the table. “Mulder, what exactly are we waiting for?  That man was stabbed so many times he could  have doubled as a pin cushion.  I performed the autopsy.  The man is dead.”

She looked over to find him with his chair tilted on it’s back legs, his feet perched on another, fidgeting with his penlight, distracted by a bathing suit calendar someone left pinned to the wall of the empty office building. He sounded annoyed to be interrupted. “His men believe he’s going to do a return of the mummy and kill his enemies with the help of Anubis.  I’m just curious to see what happens. Do you have pressing plans?” He shot the penlight her way as if conducting an interrogation temporarily blinding her.

“Well, it is my beauty night.” She replied in all seriousness. Wednesdays were her night to slap on the mud mask, soak her hair in hot oil, and slather on lotion while exploring her tastes in music and magazines. Mulder’s expression was one of severe disbelief immediately  causing the heat to rise from her neck into her cheeks. She hadn’t felt that way since she had killed the simulation mannequin during med school. Maybe he didn’t think much of her appearance.  “What?”

“I’m thinking about what drives one to have such a need for conformity that they make the leap from ensuring there are no stray hairs above your lip or beneath your brows, to plastic surgery and finally to resort to pure cannibalism.”   

“The power of the group can make people do extreme things Mulder. Things outside of their own ethical code that they would normally never do alone.”

Mulder nodded. “Lord of the Flies…. Hitler preyed on it....”

“It was creepy the way they referred to the ones they killed as “others”. Although in the end, they ended up turning on each other. I’d like to think there wasn’t any amount of peer pressure or vanity that would get me to resort to abandon humanity. What about you Mulder? What extremes might you go to for the sake of beauty or slowing the aging process?”

Mulder fiddled with his pen. “I would like to think I’d never consider a cuisine of soylent green, but the thought of prolonging life could tempt some people and even more I think the thought of a youthful appearance.”

“You think people might do such things in the name of vanity?” This is a new spin she had not considered and found intriguing.

Mulder continued. “How differently would you view yourself and how would that affect your actions and your life if say... you weighed twice as much? If I wasn’t able to discern you from the slide projector.”

Scully sat straight up, no longer craving her calorie laden meal. “I’d like to think it doesn’t matter how you look, that it has more to do with a person’s soul and what they are on the inside.”

Mulder scoffed. “I’ve seen some of your boyfriends Scully. No one will be mistaking them for a toad.”

Scully wasn’t sure what women Mulder spent his time with.  Phoebe wasn’t exactly a beauty queen, but she saw all the women around the office and almost all of them turned their head when he walked by. “What if you didn’t have your mug? How different would _you_ be?”

“I’d probably be busy pushing the buttons of this red headed slide projector I know.” He murmured with a straight face.

She should probably let the conversation drop, but this was the most interesting thing they had done in four days. “What are your thoughts on plastic surgery? Given your extracurricular hobbies I figured you’d appreciate a woman whose breasts stayed in the locked and upright position?”

Mulder shrugged as he squinted into the binoculars. “Maybe on the small screen, but in real life I prefer my women biodegradable.”

Scully noticed out of the corner of her eye through the window, a man enter the room of overweight poker players pointing a machine gun. “Mulder, you see that? Is it him?”

“We’re going to find out.” Mulder reached for the walkie and radioed the agents on the ground.

When they entered the building, the sound of gunshots ricocheted down the hallway.  At the end of the day, it wasn’t a ghost or a spirit, but carefully planned out operations from beyond the grave.  In a will of sorts.

Disappointed, Mulder retreated back to their car and drove them back to the basement. “Scully, you’ll never have anything to worry about.”

Caught off guard, Scully was clueless about the subject. “Why is that Mulder?”

“Because you’re pretty good on the inside and the outside. Viscera and entrails included.”

She made a face, not even tempting to explore the intent. “You’ve got a way with words Mulder... but thank you.”


	28. Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first scene takes place in "Anasazi" when he goes to her apartment after leaving his recently shot dead father's place. The next scene he wakes up in nothing but boxerbriefs. After that is Melissa's funeral taking place somewhere in the midst of "The Blessing Way" and "Paperclip". We end up back at the office and back to the grind.

“I went to your father’s funeral. I told your mother that you were going to be okay.”

“How did you know?”

“I just knew.”

*

CSM - “What is this?”

Skinner - “This is where you pucker up and kiss my ass.”

*

Well-Manicured Man - “The best way to predict the future is to invent it”

*

Stumbling through her doorway he collapsed into her arms. Even if his mind was tainted his body knew home. Only she could bear his burden and it slumped on her shoulder like the weight of a quarter ton sandbag against her small frame. Using her other hand she attempted to guide him and at the same time giving him a head to toe exam. His skin burning hers on contact.  In a feverous partially hallucinogenic stupor, he rambled about finding his father’s killer. Blood soaked his shirt and caused her to tremble.  It was not his blood, but it could have been.  Safe with her now, she would be both his guardian and caregiver. She needed him, the world was closing in and she preferred the more lucid Mulder.  The one that tightroped the line of sanity without crossing over.  Protesting, he still listened, still trusting her over his own thoughts and impulses. Once quieted with a damp cloth on his forehead, she calmly undressed him so he could rest.  Dutifully she untied  his boots, slipping them and his socks from the high arches of his large narrow feet as her tender fingers slid across smooth skin. Removing his jeans was facilitated by his hips lifting off the bed like they did as a young boy when his mother had dressed him. Underneath the dark denim long pale vulnerable thighs came into view, with shins carpeted in fine hair swaying like a wheat field as the fabric slid across it. It had her wondering. How many women had removed his jeans like this? Did anyone ever care for him when he was sick? Maybe she was the first or maybe just the most qualified. Carefully she folded the jeans and set them on a chair near the bed.  When she turned back he looked innocent and peaceful.  Quietly sleeping, the drugs having their affect, the calmest she’s seen him in a few days.  The whole situation terrified her, at the same time her impulse was to fight those that would try to harm him.  That would try to harm anyone noble and courageous enough to find the truth. She glanced at the clock. It was getting late and she needed to hurry so she could plan a defense for their case and possibly get a little sleep herself.

Next she worked on his cuffs, methodically tending to her patient. She noted the throbbing of a steady pulse beneath the taut skin of his thick wrists. Struggling to remove his shirt, she propped him up in a sitting position against the headboard. Warm breath danced across the nape of her neck and she exhaled in response.   His arm dangling off her shoulder was heavy, but comforting, giving her a hug in his unconscious state.  It was sweet and an image of them lying in each others arms passed through her limbic system. Quickly she shooed the thought away and laughed despite herself explaining it away with her own exhaustion. Continuing the task at hand she went to work on his buttons. Each one a new reveal: slender toned shoulders, a solid hard chest, and abdominals that reminded her of stepping stones on a pathway leading to a thought that made her cheeks flush red hot. She removed the plaid shirt noting the splattering of the blood’s pattern consistent with his recollection of events.  The stale smell of his father’s cigarettes lingered on the flannel, his skin wet and clammy with perspiration. Helping him get his head back on a pillow, Mulder now lay sleeping clad in the simple gray boxerbriefs that hugged his flat powerful hips. Scully moistened her lips, feeling the temperature of the room rise as she continued her professional assessment ignoring the descending line of light brown hairs beneath his abdomen outlined by an arrow pointing to an admirably raised hill of flesh covered in cotton. 

Before leaving, she removed her necklace and left it at his bedside to protect him through the night.  With a last caring glance his way, she quietly turned off the light and shut the door, retreating back to her own room.  Early in the morning when the ballistics lab opened she would take his gun to be tested and help prove his innocence. The medication she had administered to him would have him sleeping until most likely late in the day.  She set her alarm and closed her eyes.  In the silence of her apartment, she could almost hear him through the thin walls of the next room.  Even though they spent lots of days sleeping together through a thin motel wall, this time felt different.  More intimate.  It was her apartment and she was caring for him, protecting him.  Him and his truth. Snuggled safe with her.  She whispered a good night to him into the darkness and fell asleep.

*

Melissa's Funeral  
Wild doves flew from the trees, their wings flapping loud enough to pull Scully from her trance. A sign of the peace and purity of Melissa’s sacrificed soul.  She followed her family as the priest led them into the chapel so they could say their final prayers and goodbyes.  The soft dirt pulling on Scully’s heels as if the dead were reaching for her to take her rightful place in her sister’s grave.   No one had breathed a negative word, yet she felt her brothers judging her all the same.  She had felt Mulder’s presence and saw him twice. Once paying his respects to her mother at the wake and the other in the back row of the funeral.  He stayed with the rest of the co-workers, but after their most recent journey she felt like he should have been sitting next to her instead, even here in the chapel with family only.  Their connection concreted deep within their own souls and another buried far within tunnels in a sadistic filing system. Scully and his sister, human lab rats as part of tests orchestrated on a global scale. His father woven into the threads of the blanket used to lull the unknowing to sleep. Even with him not beside her, she leaned on the memory of him helping her grieve, pulling her close, his hand covering hers, his arm around her shoulder, holding her, nuzzling the top of her head, sharing her pain.

*

Back at the office, the work was a welcoming distraction from her family’s sorrows.  The more of her brain she used investigating, the less she had to use her emotions.  So she doubled up on her workload and took extra assignments in the lab.  Making her way down to the basement, she took solace in its familiarity.  Mulder was there sitting at his desk buried in his own diversions, but when he looked up emotions swam in his eyes reaching out like an embrace. He knew what it was to lose a sister, but he was yet to understand what it was to be held against your will while unknown men performed ineffable acts.  Their verbal conversation, consisting of professional analysis and review of their recent cases, held nothing of past events. It was all in the inflexion of his voice and his body language, clues to let her know he was there for her, holding her pieces together so she wouldn’t fall apart.  Covertly they continued to look for answers. She would find them and her sister’s killer. Their storm far from over, only now their winds raged internally. Scully exchanged what should have been a glance, instead her eyes locked and captured his, flooding her logic. An exchange, an overabundance of thoughts and feelings transmitting through their eyes, a rush and a reminder, they were two wholes of one fluid soul.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Season 3 and half of Season 4 of this story will continue in the fanfic "The Dark Matter Between Us"


End file.
